Book of Mirrors

So, I'm home from work, the Beastie is already asleep, I've caught up email/LJ etc., and I'm starting to fade, but not quite there yet (although seems to be going quickly). So, more or less the perfect time to make a post, right, especially since a couple have been brewing in my head, just as of the past half an hour. One would require some work on my part, one of those go-through-my-friends-list-and-post-a-snippet-of-something-I-want-to-say-to-each-anonymously-and-in-random-order things, which sounds kinda overwhelming to me right now. The other post is on how much of a liar I am, which seems much more doable, but as I sit here, I find myself loathe to do it. I didn't notice I was getting tired until I started to make a post, I didn't notice I was hungry until I started typing, and, while it's true I'm overdue for bedtime and it's been several hours since I've eaten anything, I can't help but feel that both those things are smokescreens, and I wonder how long that's been the case.

I mean, I haven't posted anything meaningful in a while, and while it's true I'm busy, and distracted, and a ton of other things, I now begin to wonder how much I'm simply been (cleverly fooling myself into) avoiding making deep posts. 'Cause, honestly, as I sit here, and contemplate making a self-revealing post, it's scaring the shit out of me. So, y'know, that's probably exactly what I should do. I'll compromise, 'cause going through my list and trying to think of a unique thing to say to everyone (there are some I would say the same thing to) just really does sound overwhelming, and is also a bit self-indulgent.

So, since cut tags make me feel safer, for whatever stupid reason...

( I lie like a rug )