OK, Baa..

the Helper Test finished!

you chose CX - your Enneagram type is TWO. "I must help others" Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs. How to Get Along with Me Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific. Share fun times with me. Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours. Let me know that I am important and special to you. Be gentle if you decide to criticize me. In Intimate Relationships Reassure me that I am intersting to you. Reassure me often that you love me. Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me. What I Like About Being a Two being able to relate easily to people and to make friends knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better being generous, caring, and warm being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor What's Hard About Being a Two not being able to say no having low self-esteem feeling drained from overdoing for others not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to them working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings Twos as Children Often are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding are outwardly compliant are popular or try to be popular with other children act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted Twos), or quiet and shy (the more introverted Twos) Twos as Parents are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't) are often playful with their children wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?" can become fiercely protective Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele The Enneagram Made Easy Discover the 9 Types of People HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages You are not completely happy with the result?! You chose CX Would you rather have chosen: AX (SEVEN) BX (NINE) CY (SIX) CZ (ONE)

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 0% on ABC You scored higher than 26% on XYZ

Link: The Quick and Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

I'm Free!!!!

OK, I keep forgetting to make the quick post that I am FREE! FREEEEEEEE from the evil soul-sucking Laurell K. Hamilton! I've read everything the bitch has in print. Finally.

Of course, now I'm kinda bummed. I've been reading her books since before Thanksgiving, so it's kinda anticlimactic that I don't have another one to read.

Well, for six more days. Micah comes out on the 28th. In paperback, sadly, so no matching hardcover. I wonder why. I'm grudgingly admitting that LuneNoire reads lots faster than I do, and should get to read it first, so he's not waiting for me to finish.

She's addictive, I tell you! She can't spell worth damn, and apparently neither can her editor or computer, many of her descriptions are redundant, but I can't put the damn things DOWN!

*taps foot impatiently*

Is it the 28th yet???

Current Sitch

OK, so, status check. I'm writing this here partially as exactly what I said it was/is, which is an update for those of you who are following the drama of my life. (My condolences.)

I also write it partially 'cause I like to drag things out ad nauseum, in ways they probably don't even need to be dragged out, but it makes me feel better to do so. This may be a compulsion on my part, with the desired outcome being that, if I can just explain myself enough, people will really GET what I'm saying, and then maybe they'll be enough in my head that they won't think I'm a horrible person. ...Of course, the other side of that coin could just as easily be, if I justify my actions enough, maybe people will buy into my own dysfunction and denial, and not call me on my bullshit while I stick my fingers in my ears and go "lalalalala".

Ummm... Yeah.

Well, be that as it may, it's my journal, and my (potential/probable) dysfunction, so humor me. Or, y'know, skip this entry. I'll even put it behind a cut tag, if you like.

( 'Cause I'm all thoughtful like that... )

A Different Perspective

On more than one occasion, when I've complained about others villifying BlckwngdOrcl, they've said that they only know what I tell them. This is true of people who only know me, and don't know him at all, or who know me better than they know him. Which is most people, 'cause, even though he's known people longer, I tend to be the more social of the two of us, and people seem to know me better.

Mea culpa. I do bitch about him, and our situation, a lot.

I kept a journal in high school, part of an assignment given by my 11th grade teacher. It was full of typical teenage angst and bitching about my parents. They found it and read it, and were very hurt. One of the things I said was that I was writing about the things that were glaring in my life, and that I wrote about the bad stuff, 'cause it was glaring, 'cause most of my life was good. I don't know how much of that was true at the time. I mean, it was very true, that's certain, but whether or not I actually believed it in the midst of my teenage angst is questionable. I burned the journal the next morning, and got out of the assignment for the rest of the year because of it.

My point is, there's a whole lot of good in my relationship, in him, that I don't tend to talk about as much. It's not fair, and it gives a poor impression of him, and more importantly, an inaccurate one.

So, I'm going to take this opportunity to tell the other side of that story.

( <i>The dumb bastard loves me.</i> --Happy Bunny )