Trick or Treat!

bookofmirrors's Halloween party:

acid0philus dressed as a gold race.
arielrose dressed as a porcelain sentence.
badelf dressed as Alyssa Milano's grandmother.
barefoot1342 dressed as a beat skeleton.
blckwngdorcl dressed as a character from Harry Potter and the Mage's Wand.
blyssmouse dressed as the Lord of Rivajamvar.
boastful dressed as Natalie Portman.
bookofmirrors dressed as a pirate.
brazen66 dressed as Optimus Prime.
bulwerk dressed as Cmdr. Riker from "Star Trek", and it suited them disturbingly well.
buzz_off_buzz dressed as a character from "The Big Sleep".
chalice66 dressed as a character from Harry Potter and the Conjurer of Memphis.
chimerawinds dressed as the love child of Jeff Goldblum and Connie Chung.
dai_syn dressed as a quarterback for the Jaguars.
damsel_fly_one dressed as the spirit of their dead grandmother Cecilia.
dreamlandvision dressed as a doctor.
dv8dgrrl dressed as Ulysses S Grant.
elephantankh dressed as a cat.
eloreen dressed as Optimus Prime.
elorie dressed as Thomas Jefferson.
felislunae dressed as a new member of the Wu-Tang Clan, Fanatical Killer.
feygirl dressed as Batman.
fornorald dressed as a 1960's hippie child.
freak2760 dressed as one of the Olsen Twins.
fuzzy_old_bear dressed as a dissipation.
gaeasson dressed as the Governor of Alaska.
gaeirin dressed as a disturbing self-made character called "Zsa-Zsa Gerbiltoes".
garyroux dressed as Master Shake.
godandtonic dressed as Claudia Schiffer.
grizzlydan dressed as the love child of Howard Stern and Vanna White, though it looked more like Yu-Gi-Oh.
heartofroses dressed as the main character of "Run Lola Run".
hellbillywinter dressed as a Davenport, Gustafsson & Reiser BankCompany employee.
isarma dressed as Hurricane Adrienne.
j_sans_lj dressed as Meatwad.
jaguarraven dressed as a Level 9 wizard.
jb_27 dressed as a fullback for the Chargers.
jdgreene dressed as a bottle of Asperlog.
journiey dressed as someone called "Kent Markovic", but you've never heard of them before.
jupitercornwall dressed as a new superhero: Bronze Squid.
justben dressed as a latex mummy.
justcallmeacorn dressed as Oprah Winfrey.
karlita didn't even show up and doesn't get any candy.
keiracaitlyn dressed as a hawk.
keith_dragon gets drunk, strips naked, and somehow emerges dressed as a new superhero: Bronze Ant.
kinkerbelle dressed as the Lord of Femgoladiol.
kittenspeaks dressed as a senior software design department head honcho.
leftythenwrite dressed as the Cold Power Ranger.
liljuice dressed as a outfielder for the White Sox.
logomancer dressed as a Vickie H. Parkhill Attorneys at LawIncorporated employee.
lord_ukko dressed as a associate sheet spreader.
lordravenone dressed as Martha Stewart, though it looked more like Zorak.
lunenoire dressed as a mummy.
lupaloo didn't dress up, spoilsport.
meadowhawk dressed as the Governor of Colorado.
misterrain dressed as the Gray Power Ranger.
mistressrain dressed as Sophie Marceau's aunt.
myndsweep dressed as the Earl of LaCity.
naa_tualle dressed as the President of Denmark.
ngtflyer dressed as James Polk.
oestrus dressed as a victim.
oye_ayan dressed as a acceptance.
profundis dressed as Carmen Electra riding a rabbit.
rae_la_fai dressed as a giraffe.
savage_rose gets drunk, strips naked, and somehow emerges dressed as Mary-Kate Olsen with her very own conjoined Ashley.
several_bees dressed as a West Idaho Old-American Newspaper employee.
shaedalis dressed as Natalie Portman.
simplysakka dressed as a Level 8 fighter.
spy_isis dressed as Nicole Kidman.
straycat_74 dressed as your mother, and it suited them disturbingly well.
sugared_redhead dressed as a disturbing self-made character called "Snotty Gizzardshorts".
sweetsong dressed as a can of beer.
talkingdirty dressed as a Quaker Oats employee, and it suited them all too well.
tbrents dressed as someone called "Terrance Cramer", but you've never heard of them before, and it suited them disturbingly well.
tbrents_mi dressed as a rat, and it suited them disturbingly well.
technomom dressed as Will Ferrell.
thewonderboy dressed as a 1960's hippie child.
thinkmonkey didn't even show up and doesn't get any candy.
thorgryn dressed as something frightened, but what, specifically, you can't tell.
toguspyder dressed as something yellow, but what, specifically, you can't tell.
tojuwa dressed as Nicole Richie, though it looked more like a cow.
triest dressed as a first baseman for the Expos.
velvetbaron dressed as Sideshow Mel.
virtualmel dressed as Halle Berry.
walkingbear dressed as Nicole Richie.
waterfall_sh dressed as a witch.
wyrd_writings dressed as a new member of the Wu-Tang Clan, Pesty Swami.
wyzard_vyrnahnn dressed as Tiffani-AmberThiessen.
xsyntrik dressed as Mary-Kate Olsen with her very own conjoined Ashley.
zydee dressed as a vampire.

Throw your own party at the Hallomeme!
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Dream Snippets

I came home from class yesterday (an A&P class, which, of course, I've already had before, but Pam wanted me to take, anyway, since it's A&P from a Core perspective) feeling exhausted. I felt that way all day, in that I-think-I'm-coming-down-with-something way. So, I came home and went straight to bed. Which is kinda fucked up, 'cause that's what I've done pretty much the last three days, which makes me wonder what's up. I've now slept about 12 hours, and still feel ...I don't even know how to describe it. It ain't good, though. I also have class today, but it's only 3 hours, so I can deal with that. I need to do laundry desperately, and that's a pretty low-energy endeavor, so that's my plan for today. I really don't want to be sick, and I really don't want to spend my upcoming days off being a slug.

Anyway, although I remember that there were many fucked up things in my dreams last night, and I fully intended to remember them to post here, I only remember two snippets. In one, towards the end of the night, walkingbear was upset with waterfall_sh, but was looking for meadowhawk. There may have been more to that one, but that's all I remember about it. I know there was one dream involving a kitchen, possibly one of those movie-chase scenes where they're chasing each other through a kitchen, and all the food and utensils are all over the place.

The one I really remember most, and is likely the most significant, was this: I was feeling exactly as I felt yesterday, tired and run down and possibly sick, but I was at Pam's, and she was doing energy work on me. I think I was starting to feel better, but I whined at her, "I don't want to be healed!". Sometime after that, there was a scene with someone with a gun, and a cat around my legs, but I don't remember details of that part.

I think it's pretty significant, though. I have certain philosophies on life, perhaps expounded upon best by barefoot1342 in this post. I agree wholeheartedly with everything she says there, and have said similar things in the past. And, even so, knowing I have this control of my life, I still sometimes feel like a victim, and I consciously make bad choices for myself. Most of this I do by not paying attention. I've cultivated certain habits that I fool myself into thinking (although never believing) takes the onus of the responsibility from my shoulders. But, of course, "I just wasn't thinking" is no excuse.

What am I going to do about this? I have no idea. I continue to feel unmotivated about the whole thing, which is sad. I continue to not feel like changing my thoughts and actions on the subject. *shrug* And that's just the sad truth about it. Right now, I just don't give a fuck. And knowing I'm no one's bitch but my own doesn't really make it much better, even though I know I'm WAY ahead of the game when it comes to that.

Shouldn't Frank Say Booooooo instead of Baaaa?

*shrug* Just a thought.

It would seem that the only person in Etherium who isn't in some sort of physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, or combination of the above, funk, is blckwngdorcl. lunenoire and I are both hoping not to bring him down, especially since things are usually the opposite.

Not being able to speak for them, I can only whine on my own account. I'd like to say there's just something in the air. I'm still feeling kinda 'eh' in general, but usually, this time of year is my favorite, the most energizing, the time when I just love life. I've been in that state most days for the past month, except for the past few. I figure it started on Wednesday, when I found out that, without telling me, they had taken 18 hours out of my paycheck. This was because, back when I had my Core classes, and I knew my paycheck was gonna be short, I asked them to give me enough vacation time to make it 80 hours. Well, due to several other issues going on that week (including Sona taking more out for lunches for everyone-not-just-me than they were supposed to), it turned out that, to make 80 hours, they gave me 17 more vacation hours than I had. Now, the owners were out of town during this time, and it never really got said what was going to happen with that overage, and how it was gonna be taken care of. It was implied that it was gonna be taken out of my overtime, 'cause there was a day that, if I came in, it was gonna be overtime, and they haven't been liking to pay that lately, so I called and asked if they really wanted me for that day, and they said to go ahead and come in, since I owed them, anyway. So, I figured that I was gonna be working 17 hours for free to make up for it. (Never mind that technically, since overtime is time-and-a-half, it would be more like 12 hours... I wasn't gonna quibble.) Anyway, to take my own share of the responsibility, I wasn't proactive about it. I didn't ask what was SPECIFICALLY going to happen to even up my vacation days. So, when Wednesday came, and my check was like $400 short, I kinda freaked. I let it go until Thursday, when I was able to talk to the owners, in hopes that it could be straightened out, and they could give me the difference back, and go ahead and take it out of my overtime. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. On the bright side, I no longer owe those hours, and the overtime I worked last week will actually go on my next paycheck (unless I really am coming down with something, or they find a reason not to pay it, or some other disaster befalls). On the downside, I could afford my rent, and that's it. After rent, I had less than $100 in my account, part of which, of course, went for gas. Part of it, admittedly, went for Starbucks and some fast food, but that was before I actually checked my balance, and was in the midst of the blissful ignorance that my paycheck was what it should have been.

Anyway, this on top of the past two months of not working with my evening clients, and working little to no overtime at Sona, which equals about $1000 less per month than I'm used to making... *sigh* You get the picture.

Also, I had utility bills in danger of being shut off, so I had to call and ask my dad to help out with that; he let me put them on his credit card. I hate doing that. But I hate not having heat and phone and electricity even more, y'know? So, I was unable to participate in the potluck at class yesterday. (Let me rephrase that. I chose to be martyrish about it. In a room full of generous people, I didn't feel worthy of sharing their bounty, feeling guilty for having none of my own.) So, I took this shake mix I had, and found out the hard way that, when I mix it with water instead of soymilk, it tastes like vomit. I choked it down, anyway, but was very unsatisfied by it. I came home feeling shitty, and went straight to bed (although I did have some of lunenoire's cooking beforehand, so that was at least good. This morning, I woke up wanting something to eat, and didn't have time to fix anything I wanted, plus the cupboards are mostly bare right now to begin with. Cereal but no milk, peanut butter but no bread... that sort of thing. And yeah, I could have had one without the other, and just chose not to. So, I go through all my bag o' tricks. But there was nothing on my Starbucks card, nothing on my QT card... no cash to speak of... just NOTHING.

I so hate being this way. I have a college education, I'm a licensed nurse, I make good money. There's no reason this should be happening. However, since my own personal philosophy is, that if shit is happening to you, YOU and NO ONE ELSE is 100% responsible for it... well, this is my FAULT. (I usually make a huge distinction between fault and responsibility. Fault includes a judgement call, while responsibility does not. I don't believe in "fault", really. But today, I'm feeling down on myself, so the term "fault" feels "right" to me, if inaccurate.) So, there's something I'm doing, or not doing, that's causing this. Problem is, I'm in the middle of feeling down about it, feeling like I deserve it somehow, so I'm not in much of a state to crawl up out of it. Which, of course, is also my "fault".

*sigh*

Help?

Does anyone who's known me a LOOOOOOOOONG time remember what domain I used to use when I lived in Bourbonnais? I know it was something that was combined... kinda like if you took the words Cool Domain, and made the domain name CoDom or something like that. I need to know what my email address was back then... I know it was DarkPhoenix(at)________.net. At least I'm pretty sure of the .net part. Could be either. I wanna say it was Collective Intelligence, so maybe "colint"? Does anyone remember? Frog? profundis? (It might be in some of the old FriendWeb archives, maybe...) logomancer?

To Make Matters Worse...

Did I mention I found out a couple of days ago that Sona may be in trouble? Not for any good reason. It's just that, it would seem doctors have figured out how much money there is to be made in the laser hair removal business. So, in Florida, they just lobbied for a law that ONLY allows PAs (physican assistants) and nurse practicioners (read as, nurses with at least a masters degree in nursing) to run class II lasers (which, from what I understand, is what our lasers are. The law passed in Florida. From what I understand, it goes before the Georgia legislature tomorrow. If it passes, it would, at the very least, cost me my job. At the most, it would put this Sona out of business (at least until they could hire all new people, for a lot more money than they're paying us now).

On the bright side, Emory is hiring LPNs. THAT would be worth it.