Pan Dimensional Healing Session
Jul. 8th, 2004 10:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bookofmirrors(cross-posted to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
pan_dimensional)
After a few missed attempts at this particular PDH session, I finally made it over to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
keiracaitlyn's place. After some chit-chat, I told her I wanted to work on boundary and prosperity issues, and we got to work.
Amazingly enough to me, just about all of my chakras were aligned just fine. She mentioned something about my crown chakra and another one which I don't remember being especially fine. Well, fucking cool. But (and please correct me if I get these wrong), my heart chakra and my solar plexus chakra were off to my left side and angled funny. So, she moved those back into place, and said that, where there were, there was this gaping void, about where my floating ribs are on my left side. She said that that was a location that was at a sort of crossroads of energy lines, but... damn... as I'm writing this, it seems like that whole part of the session is in a fog, and I can remember very few details about it. Which sucks. Anyway, it was a crossroads of 3 different energy things. IF I recall correctly, it was self-esteem/self-worth, anger, and ....dammit. Something I can't even take a stab at, and that's assuming the two I just guessed at are right, too. At any rate, she said that she was going to have to do some vibrational work on the area, basically energetic reconstructive surgery. That was kinda cool. Once that was done, she moved to the other side, and right about in that same area symmetrically, it was like there was a closed fist of energy. She said the whole thing (both sides together) was kinda like I was cut off from outside energy, and it was almost like I was feeding off myself, my own inner organs. And that perhaps the fist thing on one side was a concentration, whereas the other was the void. (Again, I'm not remembering this well...) Anyway, I had noticed that this session had very few painful areas. The vibrational stuff isn't nearly as painful as the usual methods. :) She got to my thighs, though, and I remembered how ticklish I was in that area, especially when she worked on it. She reminded me that this area was all about boxes, mostly that I put myself in. She commented that I had boxes around my boxes, and boxes around my boundaries. If I recall correctly, though, it was in a weird sort of way, something like I had boxes around how I felt other people's boxes/boundaries should be. Damn... I'm gonna have to start bringing a tape recorder. I've never forgotten this much. She also said that I had bands of energy wrapped just above and just below my knee, rather than up and down like they were supposed to go. I don't recall what the reason for this was, or if she knew it at all.
That was on my right thigh. On my left thigh, it was much less so. The energy bands in the knee were running just fine. Something about my right side being my power (dominant) side. Which reminds me, she said there was something about the energy in my left arm that made it look like the dominant side. However, the stuff in my arms/shoulders seemed more physical than energetic, which goes along with some numbness/positioning issues I've been having with them the past few weeks. Oh, and another thing about my left thigh... she said there were layers upon layers of things that kept coming up, but rather than lying one on top of the other, they seemed to be staggered, and moving up. I asked if it was toward the gaping hole from before, but she said that, no, it moved more down towards my back.
She said that I was draining really well, and that that was typical of me in a session, which I thought was pretty cool. She said that I seemed to really want to release stuff, which I'm all good with, 'cause that's kinda the idea, right? :)
I did feel pleasantly draining, not quite so much as in the past, but I could tell something was going on.
When she turned me over on my back, she did a lot of work on my right thigh again, pretty much the same stuff coming up. She worked on my wings, and said my right wing did something she'd never seen before, shooting straight up over my head at an angle. No idea what that meant.
Anyway, when she opened the first portal, I remained lying on my stomach, but that was too distracting, so I rolled over. I watched the ceiling, looking to see what was there, and was pleased to note that I could, in fact, see the energy swirling around. It moved from bottom to top, sometimes in patterns I didn't recognize, but often in the shapes of birds, or eyes. A couple of times, it shifted from a bird to an eye. The energy was a sort of sickly mustard yellow color, which I personally don't particularly like, but I understand instinctively that, even though I personally associate that color with ickiness in general, it didn't mean that in this case. She came in to check on me, and I told her I was just watching the energy, since it was the only time I could ever actually see energy. She opened another portal, and I laid there for a while. The more distinctive energy patterns went away, and it was more like there was a haze between me and the ceiling. A couple of times, it was this pretty, sun-like glow. I think it was about that time I started feeling an upsurge of energy. When she opened the third portal, it started kicking in pretty heavy. (Note: I'm not guaranteeing these numbers -1st, 2nd, etc.- are correct... just how I remember them now) I think I've mentioned before the feeling I get most of the times when I start to try to meditate... where I suddenly feel an extremely disconcerting vibration throughout my body, almost like my skin is crawling. I described it tokeiracaitlyn when she came in next as being like that moment just before you shiver. Anyway, I started feeling like that, LOTS. Periodically, my body would twitch, as if trying to shake it out, but I tried hard to stay still, breathe through it, and just let it happen. Not sure if I succeeded or not. I think she may have opened another portal, which didn't help the situation. The last portal she opened, she said she heard someone singing with her the last 2 notes - a female voice. The vibrations continued, and only dimmed down a little when she clapped to hands to take down the grid. I sat up anyway, and took the peppermint bath salt (it had come to me that mint would be good at some point in the process, so I was hoping she had some). I mentioned that the energy was still mostly there. She said that she had stuck around after the last portal to kinda see what was up with that, and she said that it was them (my guides, I'm guessing) trying to communicate with me, but we just weren't quite connecting. Kinda like when someone wants to touch you, but you're just not quite ready yet. This made a lot of sense, and more and more so the more I thought on it. Plus, it just FELT right. Moreso than the astral travel thing someone else suggested to me. It would explain a LOT.
When I got out to my car, I looked at the time, and was very surprised to see that it was 9:00pm. My appointment was at 7:30pm, and I was about 10 minutes early, so I'm sure we got started on time. It had NOT felt like that much time had gone by. Anyway, I realized that to go home, take a shower, and come back, would leaveblckwngdorcl waiting for me for entirely too long, and I was just about at the right place and time to get to FedEx right about when he got out. So, I left him a voicemail to try and hurry out, and headed that way. On the way there, I found myself laughing out loud a couple of times. I may not have been able to hear my guides, but I could FEEL them. It was a delightful feeling. Joyous. Not alone. Wow. Luckily, I didn't have to wait long for blckwngdorcl when I finally got to FedEx. Because he's fabulous, he didn't mind that I didn't want to talk on the way home, and he also didn't mind putting away and distributing the cat food when we got home.
I headed straight upstairs to the shower, and hopped in with the salt. I felt almost aggressive as I did so. I rubbed the salt harshly, all over, even in my hair. It wasn't that must-wash-evil-dirt-off feeling that I've had before (I think with my first PDH session with Ken), but more like my body saying, "Is that all you got? Harder! Faster!" When I was done with that, I rinsed off, and, without my typical cringing, turned the hot water all the way off, very fast. I was quickly annoyed to find that the cold water was a mere trickle, and reached down impatiently to crank it up. It was shocking and invigorating. I laughed, almost with a growl in my voice. Kinda in a "Yes, YES! Bring it on!" sort of way. I revelled in that for a while, and decided I wanted to come downstairs and type it out before I lost the moment.
And now we're going to R. Thomas. :)
pan_dimensional)After a few missed attempts at this particular PDH session, I finally made it over to
keiracaitlyn's place. After some chit-chat, I told her I wanted to work on boundary and prosperity issues, and we got to work.Amazingly enough to me, just about all of my chakras were aligned just fine. She mentioned something about my crown chakra and another one which I don't remember being especially fine. Well, fucking cool. But (and please correct me if I get these wrong), my heart chakra and my solar plexus chakra were off to my left side and angled funny. So, she moved those back into place, and said that, where there were, there was this gaping void, about where my floating ribs are on my left side. She said that that was a location that was at a sort of crossroads of energy lines, but... damn... as I'm writing this, it seems like that whole part of the session is in a fog, and I can remember very few details about it. Which sucks. Anyway, it was a crossroads of 3 different energy things. IF I recall correctly, it was self-esteem/self-worth, anger, and ....dammit. Something I can't even take a stab at, and that's assuming the two I just guessed at are right, too. At any rate, she said that she was going to have to do some vibrational work on the area, basically energetic reconstructive surgery. That was kinda cool. Once that was done, she moved to the other side, and right about in that same area symmetrically, it was like there was a closed fist of energy. She said the whole thing (both sides together) was kinda like I was cut off from outside energy, and it was almost like I was feeding off myself, my own inner organs. And that perhaps the fist thing on one side was a concentration, whereas the other was the void. (Again, I'm not remembering this well...) Anyway, I had noticed that this session had very few painful areas. The vibrational stuff isn't nearly as painful as the usual methods. :) She got to my thighs, though, and I remembered how ticklish I was in that area, especially when she worked on it. She reminded me that this area was all about boxes, mostly that I put myself in. She commented that I had boxes around my boxes, and boxes around my boundaries. If I recall correctly, though, it was in a weird sort of way, something like I had boxes around how I felt other people's boxes/boundaries should be. Damn... I'm gonna have to start bringing a tape recorder. I've never forgotten this much. She also said that I had bands of energy wrapped just above and just below my knee, rather than up and down like they were supposed to go. I don't recall what the reason for this was, or if she knew it at all.
That was on my right thigh. On my left thigh, it was much less so. The energy bands in the knee were running just fine. Something about my right side being my power (dominant) side. Which reminds me, she said there was something about the energy in my left arm that made it look like the dominant side. However, the stuff in my arms/shoulders seemed more physical than energetic, which goes along with some numbness/positioning issues I've been having with them the past few weeks. Oh, and another thing about my left thigh... she said there were layers upon layers of things that kept coming up, but rather than lying one on top of the other, they seemed to be staggered, and moving up. I asked if it was toward the gaping hole from before, but she said that, no, it moved more down towards my back.
She said that I was draining really well, and that that was typical of me in a session, which I thought was pretty cool. She said that I seemed to really want to release stuff, which I'm all good with, 'cause that's kinda the idea, right? :)
I did feel pleasantly draining, not quite so much as in the past, but I could tell something was going on.
When she turned me over on my back, she did a lot of work on my right thigh again, pretty much the same stuff coming up. She worked on my wings, and said my right wing did something she'd never seen before, shooting straight up over my head at an angle. No idea what that meant.
Anyway, when she opened the first portal, I remained lying on my stomach, but that was too distracting, so I rolled over. I watched the ceiling, looking to see what was there, and was pleased to note that I could, in fact, see the energy swirling around. It moved from bottom to top, sometimes in patterns I didn't recognize, but often in the shapes of birds, or eyes. A couple of times, it shifted from a bird to an eye. The energy was a sort of sickly mustard yellow color, which I personally don't particularly like, but I understand instinctively that, even though I personally associate that color with ickiness in general, it didn't mean that in this case. She came in to check on me, and I told her I was just watching the energy, since it was the only time I could ever actually see energy. She opened another portal, and I laid there for a while. The more distinctive energy patterns went away, and it was more like there was a haze between me and the ceiling. A couple of times, it was this pretty, sun-like glow. I think it was about that time I started feeling an upsurge of energy. When she opened the third portal, it started kicking in pretty heavy. (Note: I'm not guaranteeing these numbers -1st, 2nd, etc.- are correct... just how I remember them now) I think I've mentioned before the feeling I get most of the times when I start to try to meditate... where I suddenly feel an extremely disconcerting vibration throughout my body, almost like my skin is crawling. I described it to
keiracaitlyn when she came in next as being like that moment just before you shiver. Anyway, I started feeling like that, LOTS. Periodically, my body would twitch, as if trying to shake it out, but I tried hard to stay still, breathe through it, and just let it happen. Not sure if I succeeded or not. I think she may have opened another portal, which didn't help the situation. The last portal she opened, she said she heard someone singing with her the last 2 notes - a female voice. The vibrations continued, and only dimmed down a little when she clapped to hands to take down the grid. I sat up anyway, and took the peppermint bath salt (it had come to me that mint would be good at some point in the process, so I was hoping she had some). I mentioned that the energy was still mostly there. She said that she had stuck around after the last portal to kinda see what was up with that, and she said that it was them (my guides, I'm guessing) trying to communicate with me, but we just weren't quite connecting. Kinda like when someone wants to touch you, but you're just not quite ready yet. This made a lot of sense, and more and more so the more I thought on it. Plus, it just FELT right. Moreso than the astral travel thing someone else suggested to me. It would explain a LOT. When I got out to my car, I looked at the time, and was very surprised to see that it was 9:00pm. My appointment was at 7:30pm, and I was about 10 minutes early, so I'm sure we got started on time. It had NOT felt like that much time had gone by. Anyway, I realized that to go home, take a shower, and come back, would leave
blckwngdorcl waiting for me for entirely too long, and I was just about at the right place and time to get to FedEx right about when he got out. So, I left him a voicemail to try and hurry out, and headed that way. On the way there, I found myself laughing out loud a couple of times. I may not have been able to hear my guides, but I could FEEL them. It was a delightful feeling. Joyous. Not alone. Wow. Luckily, I didn't have to wait long for blckwngdorcl when I finally got to FedEx. Because he's fabulous, he didn't mind that I didn't want to talk on the way home, and he also didn't mind putting away and distributing the cat food when we got home. I headed straight upstairs to the shower, and hopped in with the salt. I felt almost aggressive as I did so. I rubbed the salt harshly, all over, even in my hair. It wasn't that must-wash-evil-dirt-off feeling that I've had before (I think with my first PDH session with Ken), but more like my body saying, "Is that all you got? Harder! Faster!" When I was done with that, I rinsed off, and, without my typical cringing, turned the hot water all the way off, very fast. I was quickly annoyed to find that the cold water was a mere trickle, and reached down impatiently to crank it up. It was shocking and invigorating. I laughed, almost with a growl in my voice. Kinda in a "Yes, YES! Bring it on!" sort of way. I revelled in that for a while, and decided I wanted to come downstairs and type it out before I lost the moment.
And now we're going to R. Thomas. :)
