Other People's Perceptions... And a Few of My Own

[bookofmirrors]

Last night at Waffle House with fornorald, blckwngdorcl, and Tim, we were talking about various things, and Rob's name came up somehow. Kinda out of the blue, Tim looked over at me and said, "When you were dating, does he treat you the way he does now?" I just kinda smiled and said, "Much worse." He gave that nod of his and said, "Wow." Then he said something to the effect of, "So why is he still around?" I basically said that, for a long time, it didn't occur to me to be treated the other way, and it wasn't until recently that I decided it wasn't in my best interest. And that when I had asserted myself, he had gotten mad at me, and we didn't interact socially for about 6 months. I clarified that Rob had also said that I placed entirely too much emphasis on his opinions, and he wanted me to learn to find my own, so he was giving me space to do that.

And you know what? Both of those things are true. I guess until last night, I just hadn't put it in those words. And I'm not quite sure what to do about that.

Comments

Pesky Duality-filled Truth!

[(Anonymous)]

Hey sweetie, it's me your mole in the badger burrow (or Houndie den, whichever you prefer).

In regards to your last paragraph, I'd have to say you are correct...both things DID happen...but how could it be otherwise?

Unless Rob was a perfect being or ascended master, he could not be immune to the energy backlash of your previous relationship-bonds breaking apart. I don't think you really NEED to do anything about it, besides what you already did - acknowledge it. Okay, well, maybe one more thing: allow it to be. :)

As for his treatment of you...remember that he's not soft and fuzzy to anyone, himself included, and that's not by necessity a bad thing. You never have to wonder what he thinks of a subject or person, do you? :D

Stop trying to measure his love against the sensibilities of other people. What are YOU capable of accepting? What are YOU strong enough to bear (or overlook)? You already know, I imagine. :) That your relationship has improved is a great thing...that you have both grown is a great thing. See where it takes you.

That's all my unsoliticed advice for now!
LUFF!

Re: Pesky Duality-filled Truth!

[bookofmirrors.livejournal.com]

Sorry it took me so long to reply. I set it aside, thinking I needed to contemplate and come up with all this thoughtful response, but now that I've come back to it, all I can say is that I agree with you, and it'll all work out as it should. :)