Sexuality

[bookofmirrors]

This post has been in my head for a while now, and I keep putting it off, 'cause I had this idea that it was gonna be really long, but when it comes down to it, I really think it's a bit short and sweet.

Anyway.....

I've labeled myself as bisexual for a while now... and according to the dictionary definition, that's accurate... but it doesn't FEEL accurate.

'Cause it's notsomuch that I have the hots for men, or that I have the hots for women. Or that I have the hots for people who identify as some other or combined gender, for that matter....

It's more that I have the hots for PEOPLE. And to put it that way is rather facetious, and not the way I mean it at all.

If I find someone interesting, intriguing, kind, etc.. ...well, I'd very likely be interested in having sex with them. It's notsomuch that I have the hots for whatever way they express their gender... it's that whatever their gender is has no bearing on my attraction at all. Ditto for race and any number of other physical factors. I draw the line at poor hygiene, and I agree with my husband's ground rule of "don't stick your dick in crazy", but if you're not a dick, and I otherwise get along with you... I'm pretty sure to be interested.

Now, whether or not I'll act on that interest is another matter entirely. In addition to the hygiene and crazy factors I mentioned above, there's certainly safety factors as far as STDs and pregnancy go. Safety factors of my own physical well-being play a part, of course, too. And I'm not interested in being the "other woman" for someone in a monogamous relationship (with one exception, and if you're reading this, you're not it), and there are probably half a dozen other reasons I might not follow through with sex regardless of my interest level.

But yeah, I'm probably interested. And I'm just not sure that fits the typical definition of bisexual. *shrug*

That being said, I totally need this shirt (since it won't let me do a direct link, it's the one that says - "I'm poly, bi, and kinky and I still won't sleep with you"). *g*

Comments

[profundis.livejournal.com]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexuality

[bookofmirrors.livejournal.com]

OMG, that's PERFECT! I love it!!

Oh, and did I mention I'm not picky about the other person's sexual orientation, either? I'd fuck you in a New York Minute, baby! ;)~

(......or..... y'know, go down on a guy with you.......)

*eg*

[eviloverqueen.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'd say you're a very agreeable sort of pansexual person. :D

[makimonster.livejournal.com]

Yay for loving everybody! ;D

[jennilee-rose.livejournal.com]

I understand all of that.

Sometimes it's difficult for me becuase I'm bisexual but in a heterosexual marriage and it's annoying at times because I will crave being with a woman but it's hard to find someone I could be friends with and have a sort of "fooling around" relationship with that won't gum up the works with the marriage ya know?

Doesn't help that my body is often too much in pain for me to want sex anyway. Bleh.

But I totally understand what you're saying.

[bookofmirrors.livejournal.com]

I'm lucky enough to be in an open/polyamorous relationship, so it's not an issue for me. I can only imagine what it would be like to be in a relationship and not have the option to explore other interests.

Polyamory isn't for everyone, though. Lord knows it sounds like you've got enough on your plate for now! (Last I "heard", at least... I'm behind on reading LJ....)

[ianphanes.livejournal.com]

Another possibility is sapiosexuality.
http://everything2.com/title/sapiosexuality

[bookofmirrors.livejournal.com]

Quite true! I've heard the term, actually, and hadn't considered it when I was writing the entry. I had kinda considered the two to be completely different, though, although based on the link you sent, perhaps not. It's certainly someone's mind/personality/etc. I'm attracted to, so (in my original understanding of the word) I'm initially attracted to someone due to sapiosexuality... then the whole pansexuality thing kicks in, where I don't care about the package so much. (Er... no pun intended... but then, I've never been a size queen, either. *g*) So I guess it's both, and one more or less encompasses the other.

Something like pansapiosexuality has so many syllables....... :)

[ianphanes.livejournal.com]

The people I've seen use it seem to be using it as a subset of pansexuality. That is, sapiosexuals are pansexuals whose standards are based on intelligence/personality.

I think it's intended to contrast with stereotypes of pansexuals having a very physical focus; i.e., trying to get as much as possible from as many people as possible. Identifying as sapiosexual makes it explicit that one wishes to get to know potential partners as individuals, rather than merely getting carnal.

With that understanding, I'm a sapiosexual with strong tendencies toward men.

[bookofmirrors.livejournal.com]

Heh... With that understanding, so am I!

:)

[zydee.livejournal.com]

Coming late to the party to LOL at "sticking your dick in crazy." My boyfriend has the exact same rule.