Taking my own Medicine
Apr. 17th, 2006 12:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bookofmirrorsThis is the list of questions I've asked everyone else on that meme that's going around. For the record, here are my answers:
1. Friends: I once had a friend say to me (heavily paraphrased) that all friendship is based on selfishness, and that if person A didn't get something out of their friendship with person B, then the friendship wouldn't exist. What do you get out of your friendships, and, if applicable, what do you specifically get out of your friendship with me?
For me, it's support. Doesn't matter what form the support takes, or how often it's given, I need to feel supported. This includes not thinking I'm a horrible person (most of the time), and telling me so when I need to hear it. And telling me I am when I am.
2. Sex: Describe your first sexual experience that involved penetration with a sexual organ. (This can be your first voluntary experience, if you have a history of sexual abuse.)
My first sexual experience was voluntary, with a very good friend of mine from South Carolina. We'd already moved, and this occured during a visit. We went out, and walked the nature trail behind the high school, and one thing led to another. We'd been very close for years, and he said later he asked God to bless what we did in love, and I thought that was pretty cool. It was a positive experience, and happened, for the most part, just how I would have liked it to happen. Some memorable quotes: "GodDAMN, woman, where'd you learn to kiss like that???" and "I've never met anyone who could bump and grind from below." I was 18.
3. Music: How do you express yourself musically, other than listening to music that you choose? How does this expression enhance your life?
I sing. Mostly for my own pleasure, mostly in the car, along with the music playing. It helps me express emotions.
4. Drugs: Have you tried any illegal substances? Why or why not? If yes, what were your best and worst experiences with drugs?
I've tried marijuana and LSD. Marijuana makes me cough horribly, so it's certainly not my favorite. Not a good choice with my asthma, nor did it do anything particularly interesting enough to make me want to do it again, although I think I've done it like 3 times, hoping to figure out what all the hype was about. The acid was a good experience, which I'd like to repeat someday, especially in a sacred setting, as a vision quest. Personally, I think all drugs should be legalized, and I have no moral qualms about responsible drug use. Right now, given my finances, the use of drugs probably wouldn't be considered responsible. Plus, I'd like to honor the experience, so I'd need a good space, adequate time, and possibly a trip-sitter or two.
5. Love: You are given unlimited time and resources, with no repercussions, to spend a year and a day expressing pure love for yourself. How do you use them/what do you do to show love for yourself?
I'd spend a great deal of time in the therapy intensives that Pam offers, a great deal of time in introspection, and a great deal of time attending classes and workshops that interest me. I'd have a personal chef to make me raw/living food meals every day, and a personal trainer who'd somehow get me to look forward to exercising (although it would be more yoga-like, I think). I'd spend time outside, in nature, and inside, in musuems, movies, and plays. I'd pamper myself with things like massage, reiki, PDH, colonics, floats in sensory deprivation tanks, and other healthy pursuits. I'd spend as much time alone as possible, just LEARNING to love myself. And I'd spend time with friends and family on my own terms, on my own time. And spend lots of time with animals, especially my own. (Oh, and of course I wouldn't work, or have any other obligations other than ones I create for myself.)
6. LiveJournal: For you, what is the primary motivation to have a LiveJournal?
Hmmm... self-indulgence, perhaps. It gives me a place to express myself in any way I choose (well, any written way). It helps me work out issues in my head.
7. Porn: You are given the opportunity to design your own porn movie. You have unlimited resources, and every person in the world has offered to be available for any scene you choose to shoot. What scene would you script, and who would be in it?
Hmmmmm... a scene with soft lighting, flames, and shadows. Celebrity people I find beautiful and would want to be in it are: Jaye Davidson, Robin Wright-Penn, Cary Elwes, Antonio Banderas, Keira Knightley. I can't think of any friends I'd want to put in the movie. I'd be content to watch the celebrities, but not content to merely watch my friends, I don't think. The scene that's appealing to me most right now is more sensual than sexual. Oil-slicked bodies rubbing against each other on satin sheets (yeah, I know that's not practical), with a lot of passionate kissing and touching. On the more porn-ish side, I'd do a rough gang-bang scene with lots of bisexuality and mutiple penetrations.
1. Friends: I once had a friend say to me (heavily paraphrased) that all friendship is based on selfishness, and that if person A didn't get something out of their friendship with person B, then the friendship wouldn't exist. What do you get out of your friendships, and, if applicable, what do you specifically get out of your friendship with me?
For me, it's support. Doesn't matter what form the support takes, or how often it's given, I need to feel supported. This includes not thinking I'm a horrible person (most of the time), and telling me so when I need to hear it. And telling me I am when I am.
2. Sex: Describe your first sexual experience that involved penetration with a sexual organ. (This can be your first voluntary experience, if you have a history of sexual abuse.)
My first sexual experience was voluntary, with a very good friend of mine from South Carolina. We'd already moved, and this occured during a visit. We went out, and walked the nature trail behind the high school, and one thing led to another. We'd been very close for years, and he said later he asked God to bless what we did in love, and I thought that was pretty cool. It was a positive experience, and happened, for the most part, just how I would have liked it to happen. Some memorable quotes: "GodDAMN, woman, where'd you learn to kiss like that???" and "I've never met anyone who could bump and grind from below." I was 18.
3. Music: How do you express yourself musically, other than listening to music that you choose? How does this expression enhance your life?
I sing. Mostly for my own pleasure, mostly in the car, along with the music playing. It helps me express emotions.
4. Drugs: Have you tried any illegal substances? Why or why not? If yes, what were your best and worst experiences with drugs?
I've tried marijuana and LSD. Marijuana makes me cough horribly, so it's certainly not my favorite. Not a good choice with my asthma, nor did it do anything particularly interesting enough to make me want to do it again, although I think I've done it like 3 times, hoping to figure out what all the hype was about. The acid was a good experience, which I'd like to repeat someday, especially in a sacred setting, as a vision quest. Personally, I think all drugs should be legalized, and I have no moral qualms about responsible drug use. Right now, given my finances, the use of drugs probably wouldn't be considered responsible. Plus, I'd like to honor the experience, so I'd need a good space, adequate time, and possibly a trip-sitter or two.
5. Love: You are given unlimited time and resources, with no repercussions, to spend a year and a day expressing pure love for yourself. How do you use them/what do you do to show love for yourself?
I'd spend a great deal of time in the therapy intensives that Pam offers, a great deal of time in introspection, and a great deal of time attending classes and workshops that interest me. I'd have a personal chef to make me raw/living food meals every day, and a personal trainer who'd somehow get me to look forward to exercising (although it would be more yoga-like, I think). I'd spend time outside, in nature, and inside, in musuems, movies, and plays. I'd pamper myself with things like massage, reiki, PDH, colonics, floats in sensory deprivation tanks, and other healthy pursuits. I'd spend as much time alone as possible, just LEARNING to love myself. And I'd spend time with friends and family on my own terms, on my own time. And spend lots of time with animals, especially my own. (Oh, and of course I wouldn't work, or have any other obligations other than ones I create for myself.)
6. LiveJournal: For you, what is the primary motivation to have a LiveJournal?
Hmmm... self-indulgence, perhaps. It gives me a place to express myself in any way I choose (well, any written way). It helps me work out issues in my head.
7. Porn: You are given the opportunity to design your own porn movie. You have unlimited resources, and every person in the world has offered to be available for any scene you choose to shoot. What scene would you script, and who would be in it?
Hmmmmm... a scene with soft lighting, flames, and shadows. Celebrity people I find beautiful and would want to be in it are: Jaye Davidson, Robin Wright-Penn, Cary Elwes, Antonio Banderas, Keira Knightley. I can't think of any friends I'd want to put in the movie. I'd be content to watch the celebrities, but not content to merely watch my friends, I don't think. The scene that's appealing to me most right now is more sensual than sexual. Oil-slicked bodies rubbing against each other on satin sheets (yeah, I know that's not practical), with a lot of passionate kissing and touching. On the more porn-ish side, I'd do a rough gang-bang scene with lots of bisexuality and mutiple penetrations.
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