Whining

I'm finally caught up on email and LJ. I was way behind.

My plan now is to go finish the laundry I started, and to finally get my closet clean - this includes weeding out the clothes I no longer intend to wear, putting a bunch of stuff aside to give to charity (or if anyone wants to come over and pick through it, that's fine, too), and getting all that shit taken care of. Also, to watch a bunch of DVRed shows while I do it.

I'm feeling melancholy today. I've been going out of my way to eat healthier, a great deal of the time, and a quick trip to the doctor on Friday (rash on left leg, ganglion cyst in left hand), which always includes weight and the usual vitals signs shows that I haven't lost a damn thing. Or, if I did, I started out much heavier than I thought. Plus that fact that my rash was diagnosed as cellulitis, which I always had stuck in my head as something only REALLY fat people get. *looks at self* Yeah. 'Nuff said. Feeling very helpless and sorry for myself as a result.

Also, am sad that I'm not going to DragonCon. I really wanted to go today, and I'm not, for reasons I won't get into here.

And my house is a mess. There's a sense of limbo, what with LuneNoire moving out soon, 'cause I know I'll have more room to manuever once he (and his stuff) are gone, but in the meantime, the place is just a sty, and I hate it. And it's gotten to the point where it feels so overwhelming that the thought of tackling it just makes me want to burst into tears. And leaving it this way makes me more and more depressed.

I'm working a lot again, so I have very little time to be at home. I'm very tired, so my days off I just want to vegatate, which my body really needs, but it doesn't get the house clean. LuneNoire and BlckwngdOrcl are helping out, of course, but there's so much that needs to be done that only I know what I want done and how to do it. And I'm feeling too tired and overwhelmed to do it, then I feel guilty for resting, which just depresses me more... you get the vicious circle.

I saw on the news the other night that Home Depot laid off a bunch of people, so I was worried about Logomancer; I came home and read his LJ straight away, and was relieved to see that he wasn't laid off, but of course that made me sad, too, 'cause he no longer considers me his friend, and, in the past, I'd be there for him in those stressful kinds of circumstances. I remember the time he called me when he got fired from a job... and any number of other calls. It makes me sad, and angry. I feel thrown away, worthless.

Being on my period doesn't help, as it seems to make me even more emotional. I was sobbing the other day after having petted the cats at Petsmart waiting for adoption. I want so much to learn animal communication (re-learn, open up the portal I've closed, however you wanna word it) and start down that path. There's so much GOOD I could do! But, I keep making those poor choices that GaeasSon was talking about, and right now, I'm just wallowing in that misery, and not feeling able to just slap myself in the face and move on, and make better choices.

Apparently, LJ only holds your pics and such as inactive for a certain period of time if you don't renew your paid account. I seem to have lost my icons and my gallery. I don't know if I can get them back. This bums me no end. And not sure when I can renew. I meant to this week, but I just plain forgot.

Anyway, I have more to whine about, but I'll stop here.

A few things I'm thankful for, to even it out.

That I have a home, and can pay for it.
Witches Brew coffee from the Coffee Shop of Horrors at D*Con.
Soon-to-be-obtained Heaven's Breath from IndigoSkynet
That BlckwngdOrcl might get a Utili-kilt at DragonCon, if he can afford it. I told him I wanted him to buy me something (besides the coffee), and he said he thought that would be a gift for both of us. I'd be totally OK with that. And a coffee mug. :)

(Back on the whiny side, way bummed that Pete Abrams doesn't seem to be at the Con this year. No Sluggy t-shirt. Badness.)

Query

As I clean out my closet, I see that I have some clothes I no longer wear, mostly because they aren't the right colors for me, but I like the way they fit, the style, etc..

I was wondering if there was anyone local on my friends list (or someone they could direct me to) that could take those clothes, look at them, and re-create them, in fabrics of my color and choosing? What would the cost of something like that be? Barter?

Alternatively, I also have some white things I'd like to dye, maybe tie-dye. In theory, this shouldn't be that hard, but I've never done it.

Suggestions?

If the dye thing happens, I'd be happy to invite people over and make a day of it, if anyone's interested. Just ignore the house. :)