My Cat Ate My LJ Post

Which is true. I had a fairly decent LJ post going on, when I hit the wrong key, and Murke, who was lying half on my arms/hands and apparently, partially on my mouse, somehow deleted everything I was writing.

*sigh*

Unfortunately, once I write something, I'm not generally inclined to repeat myself. So, I don't particularly feel like repeating it. At least not tonight. In fact, it kinda puts me out of the mood to even write the parts I hadn't gotten to yet.

So, y'all are SOL if you wanted to bask in the glorious wisdom and profundity of my words this evening.

Poor souls. I'll pray for you.

I Spoke Too Soon

Upon further inspection, what actually happened was that somehow, it selected all the text in the entry, minimized the window, and opened a new blank one. It would seem the original entry, in its half-finished state, is crouching happily on my taskbar.

So, guess I'll go finish it now.

Grrrr....

I can't sleep. Normally, this wouldn't be a horrible issue, except that I'm supposed to be up at 5am tomorrow morning so I can work 7a-7p in Gwinnett, so I'm thinkin' I'm gonna be a not-so-happy camper come alarm clock time in the morning.

But, fuck it. None of this, unfortunately, makes me sleepy.

So, I'll ramble a tad.

First of all, Shoreham paid me today. Woo fucking hoo. As a result, blckwngdorcl and I put gas in my car, bought a $50 gas card from QT which should keep me/us in gas until my paycheck from ParaQuad rolls around, and went out to dinner. Later, we got money orders for every bill we had access to, with the exception of our old wireless account. (Note: The detail of this is mostly for the benefit of my housemates, since I don't feel like posting it to our household egroup.) So, we've got everything utility-wise covered for the month of April, with the exception of Comcast (cable/internet), mostly 'cause I could access how much our bill was this time of night, and we didn't have enough money left over to cover my guesstimate of what the bill would be. So, we've got cash to last us for a bit, and my paycheck around the 15th-ish should cover Comcast easy, so no worries as far as that goes. Just need to worry about the rent, and the clutch on blckwngdorcl's car. We're taking that in on Monday to get an estimate, so we can plan ahead for that. So, all in all, I feel pretty good about that. I'm gonna continue looking for nursing jobs, and he'll continue looking for a variety of jobs, and, with any luck, we'll hear back from FedEx in the two weeks they said they'd get back to us on blckwngdorcl's interview two days ago (which, we're told, went very well).

The cats are due for their shots this month, which is problematic. I can't really put that off, 'cause if you go outside the specified time frame, you have to start all over, which will end up costing more money in the end. My dad pays the vet bills, which is great, but we just had a big bill, what with buying flea stuff for all 7 cats for the season, so the timing is just bad. 7 cats, 4 shots each at $16/shot. You do the math. It's a fucking lot. But, it's gotta happen. I'll give my dad a heads up on that. It kinda bums me. I've been hoping for years now to be in a financial position to pay my own vet bills.

Speaking of animals...

Since blckwngdorcl and I were out and about for much of the afternoon getting stuff taken care of, we didn't get home until after dark. We hadn't sprung the live trap. We knew we'd be home after dark, and normally we'd have sprung it so as not to capture any non-feline critters. However, we knew we wouldn't be out that late, and were hoping we wouldn't catch anything so early. Plus, walkingbear had lamented that we hadn't gotten pictures of the raccoons we caught, so we figured if we got lucky and they fell for it twice, we could snap a few pics of them before we let them go. I remember distinctly saying to blckwngdorcl (who agreed) that I hoped we didn't catch a 'possum, 'cause I kinda considered them ugly and mean, and wasn't too sure I wanted to be the one to free one of the wretched little beasties.

So, of course, when we got home, there was, in fact, a 'possum in the trap.

Well, face it, anyone who knows me knows that I'm a sucker for just about all animals that aren't of the flying stinging insect genre. So, in spite of my reservations, I decided I couldn't just leave the poor thing in there.

So, I went outside. I spoke in a friendly way to it, and moved reasonably slowly, so I wouldn't scare it. It seemed to work. It had its mouth open, but didn't hiss at me (I think 'possums hiss). In fact, I almost got the impression that it was similar to when a cat pants, due to stress, but not out of aggression. I pulled open the end. He, like the raccoons, didn't seem to understand that he was free. Since I was still a little bit leery of him, I left the door open, and went back in the house, turning off the porch light. I went downstairs for a while, and went back about 5 minutes later. He was still there, with the door open. I felt sorry for him, so I stayed outside with him for a while, trying to coax him out without unduly frightening him.

It was interesting. Up close, 'possums aren't the vile things I imagined them to be. Yeah, it wasn't very pretty, looking pretty rat-like, but I was close enough to get a good look in its eyes, and they were full of emotion, and almost intelligent. That sort of struck me. I am pleased that I was able to have that encounter, and to get that perspective. Eventually, with no aggression ever being shown by the 'possum, it managed to find its way out of the cage.

Little things like that, as dai_syn says, *ping* me.

And Another Thing...

I was actually going to add this at the end of my last post, but that one seemed to be at its logical end, and this is really significant enough for me to post it as a stand-alone post.

I am constantly thankful that blckwngdorcl is in my life. On some days, this is clearer than others. Today was one of those days.

First of all, he has a wealth of insight. Sometimes, I get a little bit arrogant in my training, my wisdom, my knowledge of human nature. I think, sometimes, that I'm the only one who "gets it". Frequently, however, he proves me wrong.

He's got some issues that have come up recently with some friends of his, and he handled it with what I considered an exemplary grace, and with thoughtful wisdom. He made a very conscious effort to do so, and it showed.

In talking with him over dinner, discussing our philosophies on life in general, I am constantly amazed at him. Where is the withdrawn person I married, the one who had trouble standing up to anyone but me, the one who didn't understand his own self-worth, the one who compared himself negatively to others?

I'm not sure, but the man I was sitting across from this evening (and many other evenings in recent memory) isn't that man. And, even though I fell in love with him as he was, I don't mind watching that part disappear. I feel privileged and gifted to be able to watch him grow, to be able to be his partner as he does, to be able to learn from him, and to teach him. The sharing is a very mutual thing, and I am grateful to be a part of it.