bookofmirrors

This is gonna be very disjointed, 'cause my memory of the dream is very disjointed.

I do know I had a dream before I woke up the first time, and I remember little to nothing of it, except that I was around Warsaw people from my childhood. I remember Sarah Workman (now Richardson) was there, and there was a guy there that looked like Scott Lee, and there was a pretty girl there that looked like she might be his wife. I moved long before he got married, of course, but I had heard he got married, and that his wife was pretty. So, guy who looks like Scott, pretty chick with him... must be him, right? Anyway, I kept trying to get close to him, but there was always a crowd, and I always just missed him. I know I wanted to catch up with him (in the literal and colloquial sense), and also to tell him that, in 20/20 hindsight, I had said some cruel things to him when I was younger, but that I was sorry, and I had always considered him a friend. (Even though my main friendship was with his younger brother John, who was my age. I had the biggest crush on John.)

In the second dream, I was initially in a house kinda out in the woods. I know that

gaeasson and

jupitercornwall were there, but there were some other people there that I know of mostly by reputation, but had rarely been around in person. (

myndsweep, maybe?

cid62?) Anyway, there was some tension of some type going on, and someone requested some type of formal discussion on it. Apparently, there were rules in place for this sort of thing, which included a particular type of chair to sit in during such a discussion. (Old bean bag chairs, apparently.)

jupitercornwall was on the periphery of it, and I was talking to him, mostly, but mostly in the form of trying to proposition him. He was sort of aloof and detached about it, so I ended up leaving there.

Somehow I ended up somewhere, another house, I think. This time, John Lee was there, and Michael Barnes - both Warsaw people from my childhood. Interesting that Scott (who I never dream of that I can recall) was in my first dream, and John in the second, with no inkling of the other in the opposite dreams. Interesting also about Mike. I knew a lot of people in my childhood. It was a small town, and the smarter kids tended to be the popular ones, especially as I got older. I wasn't pretty like most of the smart kids, but they all liked me, so I was sorta popular-by-association. Mike, however, was someone I knew mostly from elementary school, before the cliques really started, and everyone was just a person. We weren't really close friends in either case. But, other than the people who WERE close to me, like John, Scott, and Sarah, with whom I spent most of my time (John and Scott lived across the street from me, and Sarah and her sister Stacey, whom I was originally closer to, lived next door to them), I pretty much don't dream about kids from my childhood. Except that I know this is the second time I've dreamed of Mike. I find that very interesting. In fact, the last time I dreamed of him, I was so intrigued by this, I did a little searching on the 'net... but with such a common name, it was hard to nail anything down, y'know?

Anyway, so Mike was in this dream. He and John and I were in this bedroom, and we were just hanging out, joking and stuff. It seemed to be just the 3 of us, but at the same time, I know that conversations were difficult, because we kept getting interrupted. Perhaps we were still in the same house, and the guys in the next room were coming in or something. I don't remember. I remember telling Mike that, when you're not close to someone, and you really didn't hang out with someone, then little things take on more importance in your mind, and that I remembered a time in first grade when he had asked to borrow a pencil from me, and for some reason, I had always remembered him fondly after that. (I can't guarantee that this happened in real life, but I do know that I did always like him. Picturing his face now, eager and sweet and earnest... I like him even more in retrospect. Plus, I think we made out in the previous dream I had about him [in which his sister Michelle was also present, at the Lake Theatre]... as well as this dream, but I'll get to that.) Anyway, I was telling him this, and that I always thought of him fondly, even though we weren't close, and he was grinning at me, and we were hanging out. Strangely enough, I wasn't paying much attention to John at all. Anyway, Mike and I ended up driving somewhere. We were on this highway, and stopped somewhere and started walking for some reason. We ended up at this truck stop, but we didn't stay there, and we ended up walking to this exit. I'm not sure why we got out of the car, or why we weren't going back to it, but it seemed like this walking instead of driving thing was a fairly common practice. The whole place kinda had the feel of a post-industrial almost-armageddon. Anyway, we ended up walking to this house. We made out off and on along the way. The kissing was strange. I was using tongue, and he wasn't. In fact, his mouth was closed, so I ended up tickling his lips with my tongue, but he never responded in kind. He seemed kinda distracted, in fact, or like he was just tolerating my advances. He seemed very intent on whatever journey we were making. Like he knew of dangers there that I was clueless about, and he just wanted to get me out of there. (In real life, I think he was probably much more streetwise than I was.) Anyway, like I said, we ended up at this house.

The house was owned by rich people, I knew that much. Mostly because their daughter was rich, and had some sort of rivalry with another rich girl that lived nearby. They were in the same dance class, or at least took lessons from the same instructor. There was a butler or somesuch there that was somehow associated with both families, and he was under the impression that the chick in this house was the golden child, and the other kid was the devil. Having been around the golden child for a while at this point, I wasn't so sure. Also, I apparently had previous association and knowledge of the devil girl, and got along OK with her. I think I was under the impression that they were both just girls, and lonely bitter ones at that, and just fought all the time, but in that subtle way rich girls do, which leaves each smelling like a rose. Of course, each girl's family only knew that the other girl made their daughter unhappy, so therefore she must be bad. Anyway, I know that the girl there kept being someone I knew. Sometimes it was Tracey, Fig's sister, sometimes it was my niece Jaime, other times it was someone else altogether... or I'm just remembering fuzzily, which is also possible. Anyway, there was something about us sitting in front of the computer, and something about IMs. I couldn't quite get to the keyboard or the mouse like I wanted to, so most of the time, the window I wanted to see was partially obscured by some other window I had no interest in. I was trying to get Mike to tell me his IM name, and he was trying, but there was so much going on in the background that I couldn't hear him properly, and there was so much clutter on the desktop, I couldn't add him, either, so it was frustrating.

I remember that I wanted to tell him that I remembered, in fifth or sixth grade, outside of Mr. Hoffert's room, he had apparently been in an evangelical phase, going around and telling everyone "Jesus Loves You". I remember giggling at him, and saying "I know". I mean, we went to church and all when I was young, and I was a Christian at that age, but even then, evangelist types were just weird. I wanted him to know that I hadn't meant to hurt his feelings, or scorn him. But I never got a chance to.

At some point in the dream, Christopher (Fig's brother, that I mentioned in a previous post) was there, and I had to practically tackle him to get him to come to me. I took his face in my hands to gaze into his eyes, wanting to see what basic training had done to him. He still looked himself. He was a little apprehensive, I think, but his eyes were still soft, but with a quality of strength in them I hadn't seen before. His face was similar. Sharp lines where there had once been soft curves, but his hair didn't have a military cut, and was soft and just long enough to be wavy. I was satisfied with this, but sad about the distance between us, regretting I hadn't been there to see him grow up more than I did. (I actually did watch him grow up... I remember him as a babe in arms, and he was about 14 or 15 when I moved... but after that are those critical years, y'know?)

Anyway, that's pretty much all I remember. The themes of the dream seem to be that the people I wanted to be close to were distracted, perhaps even annoyed, by me. Not sure what that's about. Maybe I feel that way. Not sure, and not in the mood to sit and think about it, 'cause I need to go to the bank. My birthday cards have arrived. :)