I Seem to be Remembering my Dreams a Lot More Lately...

[bookofmirrors]

I think these were two separate dreams, but the book was a common element in both, so maybe not...

In the first one, I was outside in a wooded area, with picnic tables. It gave the feel of a church camp, but there were only other pagans there. I was sitting on (not at) a picnic table, flipping through a book. The book, I think, originally looked like the Merck Manual... same size/shape/color, but it was about witches. I think the title was somewhat different than it turned out to be later, too, but I don't remember what it was at first. There was another witch sitting further away, at a different picnic table. I don't know if she was reading, or just hanging out, or what. I knew her in passing, but not enough to feel OK approaching her for no good reason.

So, I'm flipping through this book, and I come to a section on warlocks. The book talked about how these disgraced witches would be forced to do things like accompany the dead to the cemeteries prior to burial, and other things related to that. They wore all black, and they also wore pointy hats. I remember being kinda fascinated by this - thinking that it was awfully interesting that the stereotypical view the public now has of witches is based on those of our ranks who betrayed us (as I'm guessing the term oath-breaker means). Some other chick came up to me, looking for the girl at the far picnic table. In my waking mind, it was Rowan, but I'm not sure it was actually her in the dream. Someone like her, at any rate. I was telling her about what I was reading, expressing my fascination with the whole concept, and also pointing out that I'd never actually read anything about warlocks before; usually only a definition of the term is given in books, stressing why male witches aren't called warlocks, but nothing about them, how they're treated, and whatnot. She seemed basically uninterested in this, and kinda ignored it, asking again where the other girl was (who was in plain sight from where we were sitting). I pointed her in the right direction, and she left.

In the second (half of the?) dream, I had gone to church. There was some reason Glenn and I had gone, something to do with humoring his parents, who still don't know we're witches. Somehow, I ended up in the second row, far to the right. I didn't find out until later that Glenn and the rest of his family were in the first row, to the left. I had the book with me. I noticed that it had become red, with gold letters, and looked a bit like a hymnal. I got the impression that it had morphed to avoid being obviously out of place. The title now read The Craft of the Wise.

At some point during the sermon, the minister chastised Glenn for painting during the service. I got the impression his parents were a little embarrassed about it, thinking they raised him better than that. I remember feeling kinda bad, 'cause usually (in my dream, not in real life), when he and I went to these functions, we sat together, towards the back, away from prying eyes, and he always painted to take his mind off where he was. Somehow, I had arrived late, and/or gotten separated from him, and he had been left to deal with his parents, and church, alone.

At some point in the service, the minister left, without explanation. Everyone just kinda sat around. I got up, apparently unnoticed, and went past the front where he had been preaching. There was a bathroom there. It wasn't like a public restroom... more like a bathroom that anyone would have in their house, complete with a bathtub. For some reason, I got undressed, and into the bath. No one could exactly see me from where they were sitting, but I kinda got the impression that they could, if they just moved a little bit and looked. I also kinda got the impression they weren't going to see anything they didn't wanna see, and someone bathing behind the altar at a church service was certainly on the list of things they didn't wanna see. I had apparently already showered earlier, and I was in the tub either to relax and avoid the church service, or clean it, or both. I was sitting there in the tub, and I had a large artist's paintbrush, and I was using it to clean the tub. I would dip it in the water, and "paint" the walls of the tub with it, cleaning off what seemed to be a bunch of red paint. The water I was in eventually turned pink. Actually, the whole bathroom kinda had a reddish-pink tinge to it, like sunlight shining through a red stained glass window, although I couldn't see any. I got the impression that I'd meant to do this earlier, but had had to leave early, and hadn't gotten the chance to do it yet. I finished, and noticed through a window (that I don't think was there before) that the minister's wife was just pulling up in a nondescript midsize sedan. I was thinking she could probably see me if she looked just a little, and that would cause allsortsa scandal, but I really didn't feel worried about that. I wanted to get out of the tub, but was kinda hesitating, 'cause I didn't wanna push my luck about people seeing me, since I'd gotten away with so much already. I remember that I'd been in there a while, and the minister had been gone the whole time, and the congregation was still sitting there, quietly and patiently, as if nothing was wrong, and they hadn't been waiting, without explanation, for about 15 minutes or so. I think I got out and started to dry off, or I was at least thinking about it.

Then I woke up.

Comments

[elorie.livejournal.com]

Self, and identity...and, of course, how other people see you. And how they refuse to look or pay attention. And how you've rejected much of their image of you, consciously, but it still affects you. :)

My favorite method for working with dream images is to draw them. In crayon.

[bookofmirrors.livejournal.com]

I kinda get that. I mean, I can see a few specific instances of it. Wanting, but not wanting, people to see me as I did the ::gasp:: shocking act of bathing at church. Being alone during the whole thing.

I think I have crayons somewhere... ;)

[elorie.livejournal.com]

Bathing in church is shocking? I was raised Baptist **grin**

But it's personal, and private, whereas baptism is public and formalized...but they are both, or can be, rituals of purification

[bookofmirrors.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm... interesting to think of it as a ritual of purification... mixed with your other thoughts, it's almost like I'm purifying myself of other people's judgements... How very useful...

Hmmmm.....