Marriage Survey
Mar. 28th, 2003 11:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bookofmirrorsStolen from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
goddessinga (I think), who stole it from someone else, whose name I don't remember.
Since I've been married twice, I'm going to do it for both.
1. How long have you been married?
I was married for 3 years and 1 month.
2. Where did you meet your husband?
Dwight Township High School; Dwight, Illinois
3. How old were you & he when you met?
I was 18, he was, um, I think he was 16.
4. How long did you know him before you started dating him?
About a year or so.
5. Where was your first date?
Actually, I don’t remember. I think we basically started dating either at Harvest Days (a Dwight “festival”) before I left for college (1987), or sometime in the fall of my freshman year at college.
6. What was your first impression of him?
That he was kinda weird, and sad.
7. Did you kiss on your first date?
Assuming that either of the above potential first dates are correct, yes. If the second date is correct, we fucked, too. ;)
8. How long did you date before you got engaged?
About a year, if that.
9. Was his proposal unique?
Not really, that I recall. I think he got down on one knee, though.
10. Did you help choose your own engagement ring?
Yes. I was afraid he’d get something too big.
11. Do you still have your original ring or have you "upgraded"?
I have the setting somewhere, but the diamond fell out and was lost long ago.
12. How long was your engagement?
5 years. I wanted to graduate college first, and have some time after to plan the wedding.
13. What color scheme was your wedding?
Twilight Blue and Starlight Silver.
14. What is your fondest memory or favorite thing about your wedding?
The whole thing was pretty awesome, really. It was a beautiful wedding.
15. What one thing about your wedding still makes you cringe when you think about it?
I can’t think of anything, really; except maybe that the DJ did the Chicken Dance when I specifically asked him not to.
16. What song did you dance to for the bridal dance?
“Can I Have This Dance for the Rest of My Life”, by Anne Murray
17. When you fed each other cake at the reception, did you do the smashing-cake-in-each-other's-face-thing?
I did, he didn’t, even though I asked him to. I ended up rubbing my face into his, where I had already smashed some cake.
18. Did you have a honeymoon?
Yes. His family owned some land in Branson, Missouri, and we stayed up there. It was a lot more fun than I thought it would be.
19. Describe the first place you lived in together.
Two bedroom, one bathroom first floor apartment. Nothing special about it, really. It was a nice place.
20. Before you married, did you discuss when you would start a family?
We discussed it, but never came to any conclusions. Our “family” ended up consisting of 2 cats, and 6 live-in friends (off and on).
21. How many children do you want/have?
At the time, I wanted 2 – one boy, one girl. We never had any children, though.
22. Use three words to describe your in-laws.
His father had died when he was 11. Three words I would use to describe him, based on what I’ve heard about him are: over-rated, unhappy, probably-well-meaning
His mother I would describe as: hard-working, under-appreciated, kind
23. Use three words to describe your husband.
Misunderstood, horny, intelligent
24. In what ways are you not alike?
He was a million times more judgmental than I was, and had definite opinions about everything. I was more tolerant, and wishy-washy.
25. What things do you have in common?
Love of sex, interest in the occult, interest in science fiction/fantasy, interest in gaming, love of each other
26. What is the hardest lesson that being married has taught you?
How to get divorced.
27. If you had a chance to do it all again, what would you do differently?
I don’t think so, really. I mean, I could say that I wouldn’t have gotten married at all, and saved myself from the pain of falling out of love, and getting the divorce, but those things helped shape the person I am, and I think the experience was valuable just for that. Besides, it was very very good for a while. I could also say that I wish I had known then the things about myself that I know now, so the marriage could have been saved, but then I wouldn’t be married to my current husband, and I would never in a million years want to miss that.
And...
1. How long have you been married?
It’s been 6 months since our legal marriage, and about a year and a half since our handfasting
2. Where did you meet your husband?
Funny story about that. I actually met him about 3 years ago, at a gathering, except we were never introduced, and I didn’t know who he was. I have pictures of him, including one where he posed for me, ‘cause I liked his shirt (OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KENNY!). I “met” him later when I moved down here, and found out his Yahoo screen name, since he was a friend of my best friend, and we talked online for a while, until our schedules allowed us to meet up somewhere. We met in person for the second time (although we both thought it was the first) at my best friend’s house, for gaming. It wasn’t until later that we realized that we had met earlier at the gathering. His friends remember him coming home and saying that some cute girl took a picture of him ‘cause she liked his shirt. I still have the picture. :)
3. How old were you & he when you met?
I think I was about 30 at the gathering. I was 32 when we met at my best friend’s house. I think he was, too.
4. How long did you know him before you started dating him?
About 3 months.
5. Where was your first date?
Christos, in Marietta.
6. What was your first impression of him?
That he was sweet and smart, but sad.
7. Did you kiss on your first date?
For hours. And we did a lot more than kiss.
8. How long did you date before you got engaged?
We both knew from the moment of our first date that we were going to be together. By the time I suggested he actually say the words (maybe a month or two later), it was long past a foregone conclusion for both of us.
9. Was his proposal unique?
Not per se. It took him a while to decide we should make it legal, and when he did, it wasn’t really “Will you marry me?”, but more like, “OK, it’s time”.
10. Did you help choose your own engagement ring?
We didn’t get one. It seemed superfluous.
11. Do you still have your original ring or have you "upgraded"?
I upgraded to the wedding ring. There's a long story about that, too. :)
12. How long was your engagement?
Well, if you count the time from first date to legal wedding, 1 year and 8 months. But in my mind, we weren’t really ever engaged, as much as we were married from the moment we had our first date.
13. What color scheme was your wedding?
We didn’t really have one. We had tossed around the idea of wearing our respective tartans (Muir and Watson), but decided to each wear our favorite colors (green and purple). However, we ended up getting what was available in the time frame we had, so we ended up with aqua and burgundy. I rationalized it by saying that he was wearing a shade of green, the color of the goddess, and I was wearing a shade of red, the color of the god. (Note: All colors previously noted are in order of his and mine.)
14. What is your fondest memory or favorite thing about your wedding?
Standing there, looking at him, reading our vows.
15. What one thing about your wedding still makes you cringe when you think about it?
The fact that we were 2 hours late to it. Although it’s more of an amusement, at this point.
16. What song did you dance to for the bridal dance?
We didn’t dance. It was a buffet reception, but there was no room to dance.
17. When you fed each other cake at the reception, did you do the smashing-cake-in-each-other's-face-thing?
No. :(
18. Did you have a honeymoon?
Unfortunately, we couldn’t afford one. We were going to go to Britain; when that was out of the question, we settled on Orlando/Disney; when that was out of the question, we decided on Savannah. When that didn’t work out, we each took a week off work and stayed home.
19. Describe the first place you lived in together.
Before marriage, two bedroom two bathroom apartment in Marietta, in a bad neighborhood. Someone got shot right outside our window (literally!) a couple of weeks before we moved. After marriage, a two bedroom two bathroom apartment in Atlanta (Sandy Springs), in a great neighborhood, with beautiful scenery.
20. Before you married, did you discuss when you would start a family?
A little. He’s had a vasectomy, so it’s really not much of an option. I don’t want kids unless I can stay home with them, anyway. If we suddenly had enough money that I could be a stay-at-home mom, and homeschool my kid(s), we’d talk it over again. From my perspective, I wouldn’t want to surgically reverse the vasectomy, though. I’d rather do magic. It’s less invasive, and if you add the “for the highest good” clause, it’ll only happen if it’s for the best.
21. How many children do you want/have?
If the above criteria were met, I’d still want one boy, one girl.
22. Use three words to describe your in-laws.
Conservative, kind, determined
23. Use three words to describe your husband.
Beautiful, Bard, Geek
24. In what ways are you not alike?
He’s a Taurus, I’m a Libra. That pretty much sums up our differences. :)
25. What things do you have in common?
Pretty much everything else. He’s a LOT more into gaming than I am, though. ;)
26. What is the hardest lesson that being married has taught you?
The hardest thing? Hmmmm…. I guess learning to determine my own motivations and desires, and express them clearly, without a hidden agenda.
27. If you had a chance to do it all again, what would you do differently?
Not a damn thing. Except maybe be on time for the wedding, and be enormously wealthy, so we could have had the honeymoon we wanted, and we wouldn’t always have to worry about money now.
I'd love to haveblckwngdorcl fill this out, too... Hint, hint... ;)
goddessinga (I think), who stole it from someone else, whose name I don't remember.Since I've been married twice, I'm going to do it for both.
1. How long have you been married?
I was married for 3 years and 1 month.
2. Where did you meet your husband?
Dwight Township High School; Dwight, Illinois
3. How old were you & he when you met?
I was 18, he was, um, I think he was 16.
4. How long did you know him before you started dating him?
About a year or so.
5. Where was your first date?
Actually, I don’t remember. I think we basically started dating either at Harvest Days (a Dwight “festival”) before I left for college (1987), or sometime in the fall of my freshman year at college.
6. What was your first impression of him?
That he was kinda weird, and sad.
7. Did you kiss on your first date?
Assuming that either of the above potential first dates are correct, yes. If the second date is correct, we fucked, too. ;)
8. How long did you date before you got engaged?
About a year, if that.
9. Was his proposal unique?
Not really, that I recall. I think he got down on one knee, though.
10. Did you help choose your own engagement ring?
Yes. I was afraid he’d get something too big.
11. Do you still have your original ring or have you "upgraded"?
I have the setting somewhere, but the diamond fell out and was lost long ago.
12. How long was your engagement?
5 years. I wanted to graduate college first, and have some time after to plan the wedding.
13. What color scheme was your wedding?
Twilight Blue and Starlight Silver.
14. What is your fondest memory or favorite thing about your wedding?
The whole thing was pretty awesome, really. It was a beautiful wedding.
15. What one thing about your wedding still makes you cringe when you think about it?
I can’t think of anything, really; except maybe that the DJ did the Chicken Dance when I specifically asked him not to.
16. What song did you dance to for the bridal dance?
“Can I Have This Dance for the Rest of My Life”, by Anne Murray
17. When you fed each other cake at the reception, did you do the smashing-cake-in-each-other's-face-thing?
I did, he didn’t, even though I asked him to. I ended up rubbing my face into his, where I had already smashed some cake.
18. Did you have a honeymoon?
Yes. His family owned some land in Branson, Missouri, and we stayed up there. It was a lot more fun than I thought it would be.
19. Describe the first place you lived in together.
Two bedroom, one bathroom first floor apartment. Nothing special about it, really. It was a nice place.
20. Before you married, did you discuss when you would start a family?
We discussed it, but never came to any conclusions. Our “family” ended up consisting of 2 cats, and 6 live-in friends (off and on).
21. How many children do you want/have?
At the time, I wanted 2 – one boy, one girl. We never had any children, though.
22. Use three words to describe your in-laws.
His father had died when he was 11. Three words I would use to describe him, based on what I’ve heard about him are: over-rated, unhappy, probably-well-meaning
His mother I would describe as: hard-working, under-appreciated, kind
23. Use three words to describe your husband.
Misunderstood, horny, intelligent
24. In what ways are you not alike?
He was a million times more judgmental than I was, and had definite opinions about everything. I was more tolerant, and wishy-washy.
25. What things do you have in common?
Love of sex, interest in the occult, interest in science fiction/fantasy, interest in gaming, love of each other
26. What is the hardest lesson that being married has taught you?
How to get divorced.
27. If you had a chance to do it all again, what would you do differently?
I don’t think so, really. I mean, I could say that I wouldn’t have gotten married at all, and saved myself from the pain of falling out of love, and getting the divorce, but those things helped shape the person I am, and I think the experience was valuable just for that. Besides, it was very very good for a while. I could also say that I wish I had known then the things about myself that I know now, so the marriage could have been saved, but then I wouldn’t be married to my current husband, and I would never in a million years want to miss that.
And...
1. How long have you been married?
It’s been 6 months since our legal marriage, and about a year and a half since our handfasting
2. Where did you meet your husband?
Funny story about that. I actually met him about 3 years ago, at a gathering, except we were never introduced, and I didn’t know who he was. I have pictures of him, including one where he posed for me, ‘cause I liked his shirt (OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KENNY!). I “met” him later when I moved down here, and found out his Yahoo screen name, since he was a friend of my best friend, and we talked online for a while, until our schedules allowed us to meet up somewhere. We met in person for the second time (although we both thought it was the first) at my best friend’s house, for gaming. It wasn’t until later that we realized that we had met earlier at the gathering. His friends remember him coming home and saying that some cute girl took a picture of him ‘cause she liked his shirt. I still have the picture. :)
3. How old were you & he when you met?
I think I was about 30 at the gathering. I was 32 when we met at my best friend’s house. I think he was, too.
4. How long did you know him before you started dating him?
About 3 months.
5. Where was your first date?
Christos, in Marietta.
6. What was your first impression of him?
That he was sweet and smart, but sad.
7. Did you kiss on your first date?
For hours. And we did a lot more than kiss.
8. How long did you date before you got engaged?
We both knew from the moment of our first date that we were going to be together. By the time I suggested he actually say the words (maybe a month or two later), it was long past a foregone conclusion for both of us.
9. Was his proposal unique?
Not per se. It took him a while to decide we should make it legal, and when he did, it wasn’t really “Will you marry me?”, but more like, “OK, it’s time”.
10. Did you help choose your own engagement ring?
We didn’t get one. It seemed superfluous.
11. Do you still have your original ring or have you "upgraded"?
I upgraded to the wedding ring. There's a long story about that, too. :)
12. How long was your engagement?
Well, if you count the time from first date to legal wedding, 1 year and 8 months. But in my mind, we weren’t really ever engaged, as much as we were married from the moment we had our first date.
13. What color scheme was your wedding?
We didn’t really have one. We had tossed around the idea of wearing our respective tartans (Muir and Watson), but decided to each wear our favorite colors (green and purple). However, we ended up getting what was available in the time frame we had, so we ended up with aqua and burgundy. I rationalized it by saying that he was wearing a shade of green, the color of the goddess, and I was wearing a shade of red, the color of the god. (Note: All colors previously noted are in order of his and mine.)
14. What is your fondest memory or favorite thing about your wedding?
Standing there, looking at him, reading our vows.
15. What one thing about your wedding still makes you cringe when you think about it?
The fact that we were 2 hours late to it. Although it’s more of an amusement, at this point.
16. What song did you dance to for the bridal dance?
We didn’t dance. It was a buffet reception, but there was no room to dance.
17. When you fed each other cake at the reception, did you do the smashing-cake-in-each-other's-face-thing?
No. :(
18. Did you have a honeymoon?
Unfortunately, we couldn’t afford one. We were going to go to Britain; when that was out of the question, we settled on Orlando/Disney; when that was out of the question, we decided on Savannah. When that didn’t work out, we each took a week off work and stayed home.
19. Describe the first place you lived in together.
Before marriage, two bedroom two bathroom apartment in Marietta, in a bad neighborhood. Someone got shot right outside our window (literally!) a couple of weeks before we moved. After marriage, a two bedroom two bathroom apartment in Atlanta (Sandy Springs), in a great neighborhood, with beautiful scenery.
20. Before you married, did you discuss when you would start a family?
A little. He’s had a vasectomy, so it’s really not much of an option. I don’t want kids unless I can stay home with them, anyway. If we suddenly had enough money that I could be a stay-at-home mom, and homeschool my kid(s), we’d talk it over again. From my perspective, I wouldn’t want to surgically reverse the vasectomy, though. I’d rather do magic. It’s less invasive, and if you add the “for the highest good” clause, it’ll only happen if it’s for the best.
21. How many children do you want/have?
If the above criteria were met, I’d still want one boy, one girl.
22. Use three words to describe your in-laws.
Conservative, kind, determined
23. Use three words to describe your husband.
Beautiful, Bard, Geek
24. In what ways are you not alike?
He’s a Taurus, I’m a Libra. That pretty much sums up our differences. :)
25. What things do you have in common?
Pretty much everything else. He’s a LOT more into gaming than I am, though. ;)
26. What is the hardest lesson that being married has taught you?
The hardest thing? Hmmmm…. I guess learning to determine my own motivations and desires, and express them clearly, without a hidden agenda.
27. If you had a chance to do it all again, what would you do differently?
Not a damn thing. Except maybe be on time for the wedding, and be enormously wealthy, so we could have had the honeymoon we wanted, and we wouldn’t always have to worry about money now.
I'd love to have
blckwngdorcl fill this out, too... Hint, hint... ;)
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Date: 2003-03-28 04:57 pm (UTC)