Booooored Now....
May. 21st, 2004 02:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bookofmirrorsWell, in spite of my last entry, you now have the benefit (and I use this term very loosely) of my boredom and inability to sleep.
This is SOOOO not me. Although I recall![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wyzard_vyrnahnn has a book of Chinese horoscopes somewhere with a lot more detailed information than year of birth, and I think that was more accurate. Don't remember if it was also Earth Monkey or not...
EARTH MONKEY Horoscope
Feb 3, 1908 to Jan 21, 1909
Jan 30, 1968 to Feb 16, 1969
Monkey people, on their merry way to becoming famous, like to strew memorable bits of impishness and practical jokes along the way. Lots of fun, they also possess a serious side and influence a good many people throughout their lifetime. They know how to accomplish the most difficult of tasks with the greatest of enthusiasm, concentration, and ease. Even so, they can easily get discouraged and confused and MUST do things their way! They often become great mathematicians, super chess players, researchers, entrepreneurs or scientists. And, great mentors! Monkeys have a burning passion for knowledge of every kind and they magically are surrounded by the finer things in life. Life is a big adventure!
Duck Soup and Rice are among the keys to good health!!
Optimistic always, nothing will keep the Earth Monkey down for long. They are self starters, both personally and in business. They don't like to work for others and always find opportunities to do it their way, solo. Their entrepreneurial spirit creates very successful business undertakings. They are very shrewd and avoid common pitfalls encountered by others. They possess enormous strengths which lead to a growing reputation for excellence, among them frankness, honesty, dependability and reliability. They sincerely care about others and are very attractive to the opposite sex, particularly the male. The female Earth Monkey needs to be aware of making mountains out of molehills with their constant worry, otherwise they will destroy budding relationships quicker than a wink. Their optimism usually comes to the rescue, however, because problems today, well, there's always tomorrow to make it right!
Famous Monkey people: Elizabeth Taylor, Charles Dickens, Lyndon Johnson, Eleanor Roosevelt, Nelson Rockefeller, Leonardo da Vinci, Simone de Beauvoir, Isaac Stern, George Lucas
This is a sex contract for straight sex, as generated by a link I got fromtbrents. This, I suppose, could be fairly useful, but should, in my opinion, have room for a notes section. For instance, although I consent to fisting, I have yet to have a completely successful fisting in any orifice. I'm up for giving it a shot, sure, but it's not like I'm particularly experienced in this area, and it's not like I'm a pro. Don't expect to punch me in the cunt and get a good reaction, y'know?
Also, the STD section isn't particularly specific. There are a lot more STDs out there. And lumping have had and had all in one category isn't particularly useful. I mean, it makes a big difference to me if someone I'm interested in having sex with actively has an incurable disease, actively has a curable disease (and is taking meds for it), or has been cured (with no remissions or chance of remissions) of an active disease they had some time ago. Huge difference for me. Also, although I don't keep it a secret that I had chlamydia in college, I don't like it even being implied that I might still have it.
The birth control methods are limited, as well. And, in my case, would require a notes section. I use the sympto-thermal method of birth control, which is the version of the rhythm method that actually works. (Actually, in practice, I use the Billings method, since I haven't bothered to take my temperature for years.) There'd have to be a section on my limits when I can get pregnant, as opposed to my limits when I can't.
Also... no BDSM section. What's up with that?
Anyway, here's mine:
I hereby certify that I possess the intellectual and emotional maturity required to consent to sex. I have not in any way been coerced into signing this form, and I have not received, and do not expect to receive, any payment or remuneration whatsoever for performing the specified sex acts. I am 18 years or older and am not intoxicated with alcohol or drugs. Though I offer this form as consent to sex, I reserve the right to withdraw consent at any time, verbally, in writing, gesture, or any other clearly discernible means.
Kissing
I consent to being kissed on the mouth in the following manner: closed mouth kissing, open-mouthed kissing with lips, open-mouthed kissing with tongue, light biting/nibbling, and heavy biting/nibbling. I consent to being kissed on the face and neck. I will hold the kisser harmless and blameless for any hickies sustained during the above-listed forms of kissing.
Touching
I consent to being touching in the following manner: on my breasts outside of my clothes, on my breasts inside of my clothes, on my buttocks outside of my clothes, on my buttocks inside of my clothes, on my vaginal area outside of my clothes, and on my vaginal area inside of my clothes.
Oral Sex
I hereby give consent to oral sex (cunnilingus) being performed on me. If I choose to perform fellatio, I agree to allow my partner to ejaculate in my mouth. I consent to having oral sex performed on my anus (analingus).
Genital-to-Genital Contact without Penetration (Outercourse)
I agree to genital-to-genital contact, not including penetration (outercourse). During outercourse, I require the use of a condom.
Vaginal Penetration
I consent to being vaginally penetrated by a full fist. I consent to being vaginally penetetrated by sex toys. I consent to vaginal penetration by a dildo. I consent to vaginal penetration by a vibrator. I consent to being vaginally penetrated by a penis. During penetration by a penis I require the use of a condom.
Anal Penetration
I consent to anal penetration by a full fist. I consent to anal penetration by sex toys. I consent to anal penetration with a dildo. I consent to anal penetration with a vibrator. I consent to anal penetration with a butt plug I consent to anal penetration by a penis. During anal penetration by a penis, I require the use of a condom. I consent to ejaculation within the anus during anal penetration.
Sexually Transmitted Diseases
I have now, or have had in the past, the following STDs: chlamydia.
Birth Control
I agree to use the following forms of birth control: none.
Signed by: ____________________________________
Print name: ___________________________________
Date: 05/21/2004
And here's the lesbian version. Same issues as above, minus the pregancy thing. And even thoughtojuwa explained to me once what a dental dam is, I don't remember, so I don't know if I'd require one or not...
I hereby certify that I possess the intellectual and emotional maturity required to consent to sex. I have not in any way been coerced into signing this form, and I have not received, and do not expect to receive, any payment or remuneration whatsoever for performing the specified sex acts. I am 18 years or older and am not intoxicated with alcohol or drugs. Though I offer this form as consent to sex, I reserve the right to withdraw consent at any time, verbally, in writing, gesture, or any other clearly discernible means.
Kissing
I consent to being kissed on the mouth in the following manner: closed mouth kissing, open-mouthed kissing with lips, open-mouthed kissing with tongue, light biting/nibbling, and heavy biting/nibbling. I consent to being kissed on the face and neck. I will hold the kisser harmless and blameless for any hickies sustained during the above-listed forms of kissing.
Touching
I consent to being touched in the following manner: on my breasts outside of my clothes, on my breasts inside of my clothes, on my buttocks outside of my clothes, on my buttocks inside of my clothes, on my vaginal area outside of my clothes, and on my vaginal area inside of my clothes.
Oral Sex
I hereby give consent to oral sex (cunnilingus) being performed on me. I consent to having oral sex performed on my anus (analingus).
Vagina-to-Vagina Contact without Penetration (Tribadism)
I agree to vagina-to-vagina contact (tribadism).
Vaginal Penetration
I consent to being vaginally penetrated by a full fist. I consent to being vaginally penetetrated by sex toys. I consent to vaginal penetration by a dildo. I consent to vaginal penetration by a vibrator.
Anal Penetration
I consent to anal penetration by a full fist. I consent to anal penetration by sex toys. I consent to anal penetration with a dildo. I consent to anal penetration with a vibrator. I consent to anal penetration with a butt plug
Sexually Transmitted Diseases
I have now, or have had in the past, the following STDs: chlamydia.
Signed by: ____________________________________
Print name: ___________________________________
Date: 05/21/2004
In other various news of my life, I'll give a shortened version of minor updates that I've been meaning to write about, but haven't. These will probably be shorter than if I were in the mood to write, and are in no particular order.
I finally got to visitelorie in Athens. Was delightful to see her again. thinkmonkey has a pretty cool house in a cute li'l neighborhood, and the park within walking distance was fabulous. elorie's namesake wildcats wouldn't show any more of themselves than a patch of fur through a log, but one of my totems, the golden eagle, was easier to see. I don't realize just how BIG those fuckers are till I'm close to 'em. Anyway, it's cool as fuck that they have this kickass FREE park with a mini-zoo, plus a big ole duck-feeding pond.
Also got to go to this AWESOME coffee shop called Aromas. Coffee and other yummy hot drinks, as well as wine, cheeses, and sweets. Great ambience, too. Probably the best coffee shop I've been in, ever. Drool.
Finally got to see Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, too, which was cool.
Best quote of the trip:thewonderboy, regarding elorie.
"She's as fiesty as she is beautiful!"
Preach on, brother. :)
blckwngdorcl had a birthday a while back. We celebrated with a bunch of people at Mt. Fuji, at his request, and went bowling (not in that order). Fabulous, as always. The next day, I continued his birthday by surprising him with Agatha's, which is a mystery theatre downtown, where they do audience participation in a sort of whodunit theme. I played the part of Absurd, a member of the Venice Hellion (read, Paris Hilton) Fan Club, and I had to sing (along with several other people) a song set to the tune of My Darling Clementine. "Darksome night and shining moon...." Oh, wait, that's not right.... Hee...
blckwngdorcl was Howard Spurn, and he got to say "blanking" a lot. The guy at the beginning warned him not to replace "blanking" with anything else. "I want my blanking lawyer!". He even let his hair down for the part. I loved it.
We also got to see a proposal, and it just happened to be a couple that was sitting right across from us, and that was pretty cool.
It was a really good time, and they have different shows about 5 times a year. The food was really good, and it's $55/person for food, tip, and show, which is actually pretty good. We're seriously considering trying to work it into our budget on a regular basis. And definitely something more fun with a big party, so we'll try to inform people, and make it a group outing. Well worth it. :)
Hmmmmmmm.... I have a few more insightful things to say aboutblckwngdorcl, but I'm still not in an insightful mood, so those will have to wait.
I should point out that it's especially annoying that I can't sleep, since I have to wake up in 3.5 hours. Much to do tomorrow.
One of the things on the schedule for tomorrow is an appointment with an animal communicator. She comes highly recommended by an acquaintance who used to live at Shadowbrook, so at least I have a personal testimonial. And the problem with my cats hasn't gotten any better, and has in fact gotten worse, so I'm hoping she can help. I've tried everything (and I do mean everything) else, so this is kinda the last straw. Although I'm not willing to give up the cats if it doesn't work. Just a matter of working with the problem, I guess. Anyway, I'm totally hoping it'll work. She's already talked to the cats, and she said they had a lot to say, so I'm hoping it's something that can be worked out. It's not godawful expensive, and it's certainly less than the costs that I've already incurred for the problem, so it's a fucking bargain if it works. I'll keep you posted, and sing her praises to high heaven if warranted. Again, she comes highly recommended by someone I actually know, so.......
Can't think of much else to say, except for my other current annoyance (besides my insomnia). I have a cold sore. I'm 35 fucking years old, and I've never had a cold sore in my life, until now. And, yeah, I know that cold sores are common (40% of adults have had them) and that the herpes virus is even more common (99% of humans have been exposed), but STILL. It's just fucking ANNOYING. I can't kiss anyone, and I can't give head. Luckily, I know I haven't given head in a while, which is a good thing, because I've been told (by someone who accidentally gave his wife genital herpes by eating her out before the cold sore actually broke out) that the time before the cold sore actually breaks out is the most contagious time. I can't find any reference to that online, but I spoke to a doctor about it at the time, because I didn't think it was true at the time.
However, knowing that the prodromal phase is highly contagious, makes me wonder how long after the cold sore goes away that I have to wait before kissing and/or giving head again. I can't find that information on the web. Bastards.
*sigh* I think I might be getting sleepy now. Good thing, too.
Ni'night!
This is SOOOO not me. Although I recall
wyzard_vyrnahnn has a book of Chinese horoscopes somewhere with a lot more detailed information than year of birth, and I think that was more accurate. Don't remember if it was also Earth Monkey or not...EARTH MONKEY Horoscope
Feb 3, 1908 to Jan 21, 1909
Jan 30, 1968 to Feb 16, 1969
Monkey people, on their merry way to becoming famous, like to strew memorable bits of impishness and practical jokes along the way. Lots of fun, they also possess a serious side and influence a good many people throughout their lifetime. They know how to accomplish the most difficult of tasks with the greatest of enthusiasm, concentration, and ease. Even so, they can easily get discouraged and confused and MUST do things their way! They often become great mathematicians, super chess players, researchers, entrepreneurs or scientists. And, great mentors! Monkeys have a burning passion for knowledge of every kind and they magically are surrounded by the finer things in life. Life is a big adventure!
Duck Soup and Rice are among the keys to good health!!
Optimistic always, nothing will keep the Earth Monkey down for long. They are self starters, both personally and in business. They don't like to work for others and always find opportunities to do it their way, solo. Their entrepreneurial spirit creates very successful business undertakings. They are very shrewd and avoid common pitfalls encountered by others. They possess enormous strengths which lead to a growing reputation for excellence, among them frankness, honesty, dependability and reliability. They sincerely care about others and are very attractive to the opposite sex, particularly the male. The female Earth Monkey needs to be aware of making mountains out of molehills with their constant worry, otherwise they will destroy budding relationships quicker than a wink. Their optimism usually comes to the rescue, however, because problems today, well, there's always tomorrow to make it right!
Famous Monkey people: Elizabeth Taylor, Charles Dickens, Lyndon Johnson, Eleanor Roosevelt, Nelson Rockefeller, Leonardo da Vinci, Simone de Beauvoir, Isaac Stern, George Lucas
This is a sex contract for straight sex, as generated by a link I got from
tbrents. This, I suppose, could be fairly useful, but should, in my opinion, have room for a notes section. For instance, although I consent to fisting, I have yet to have a completely successful fisting in any orifice. I'm up for giving it a shot, sure, but it's not like I'm particularly experienced in this area, and it's not like I'm a pro. Don't expect to punch me in the cunt and get a good reaction, y'know?Also, the STD section isn't particularly specific. There are a lot more STDs out there. And lumping have had and had all in one category isn't particularly useful. I mean, it makes a big difference to me if someone I'm interested in having sex with actively has an incurable disease, actively has a curable disease (and is taking meds for it), or has been cured (with no remissions or chance of remissions) of an active disease they had some time ago. Huge difference for me. Also, although I don't keep it a secret that I had chlamydia in college, I don't like it even being implied that I might still have it.
The birth control methods are limited, as well. And, in my case, would require a notes section. I use the sympto-thermal method of birth control, which is the version of the rhythm method that actually works. (Actually, in practice, I use the Billings method, since I haven't bothered to take my temperature for years.) There'd have to be a section on my limits when I can get pregnant, as opposed to my limits when I can't.
Also... no BDSM section. What's up with that?
Anyway, here's mine:
I hereby certify that I possess the intellectual and emotional maturity required to consent to sex. I have not in any way been coerced into signing this form, and I have not received, and do not expect to receive, any payment or remuneration whatsoever for performing the specified sex acts. I am 18 years or older and am not intoxicated with alcohol or drugs. Though I offer this form as consent to sex, I reserve the right to withdraw consent at any time, verbally, in writing, gesture, or any other clearly discernible means.
Kissing
I consent to being kissed on the mouth in the following manner: closed mouth kissing, open-mouthed kissing with lips, open-mouthed kissing with tongue, light biting/nibbling, and heavy biting/nibbling. I consent to being kissed on the face and neck. I will hold the kisser harmless and blameless for any hickies sustained during the above-listed forms of kissing.
Touching
I consent to being touching in the following manner: on my breasts outside of my clothes, on my breasts inside of my clothes, on my buttocks outside of my clothes, on my buttocks inside of my clothes, on my vaginal area outside of my clothes, and on my vaginal area inside of my clothes.
Oral Sex
I hereby give consent to oral sex (cunnilingus) being performed on me. If I choose to perform fellatio, I agree to allow my partner to ejaculate in my mouth. I consent to having oral sex performed on my anus (analingus).
Genital-to-Genital Contact without Penetration (Outercourse)
I agree to genital-to-genital contact, not including penetration (outercourse). During outercourse, I require the use of a condom.
Vaginal Penetration
I consent to being vaginally penetrated by a full fist. I consent to being vaginally penetetrated by sex toys. I consent to vaginal penetration by a dildo. I consent to vaginal penetration by a vibrator. I consent to being vaginally penetrated by a penis. During penetration by a penis I require the use of a condom.
Anal Penetration
I consent to anal penetration by a full fist. I consent to anal penetration by sex toys. I consent to anal penetration with a dildo. I consent to anal penetration with a vibrator. I consent to anal penetration with a butt plug I consent to anal penetration by a penis. During anal penetration by a penis, I require the use of a condom. I consent to ejaculation within the anus during anal penetration.
Sexually Transmitted Diseases
I have now, or have had in the past, the following STDs: chlamydia.
Birth Control
I agree to use the following forms of birth control: none.
Signed by: ____________________________________
Print name: ___________________________________
Date: 05/21/2004
And here's the lesbian version. Same issues as above, minus the pregancy thing. And even though
tojuwa explained to me once what a dental dam is, I don't remember, so I don't know if I'd require one or not...I hereby certify that I possess the intellectual and emotional maturity required to consent to sex. I have not in any way been coerced into signing this form, and I have not received, and do not expect to receive, any payment or remuneration whatsoever for performing the specified sex acts. I am 18 years or older and am not intoxicated with alcohol or drugs. Though I offer this form as consent to sex, I reserve the right to withdraw consent at any time, verbally, in writing, gesture, or any other clearly discernible means.
Kissing
I consent to being kissed on the mouth in the following manner: closed mouth kissing, open-mouthed kissing with lips, open-mouthed kissing with tongue, light biting/nibbling, and heavy biting/nibbling. I consent to being kissed on the face and neck. I will hold the kisser harmless and blameless for any hickies sustained during the above-listed forms of kissing.
Touching
I consent to being touched in the following manner: on my breasts outside of my clothes, on my breasts inside of my clothes, on my buttocks outside of my clothes, on my buttocks inside of my clothes, on my vaginal area outside of my clothes, and on my vaginal area inside of my clothes.
Oral Sex
I hereby give consent to oral sex (cunnilingus) being performed on me. I consent to having oral sex performed on my anus (analingus).
Vagina-to-Vagina Contact without Penetration (Tribadism)
I agree to vagina-to-vagina contact (tribadism).
Vaginal Penetration
I consent to being vaginally penetrated by a full fist. I consent to being vaginally penetetrated by sex toys. I consent to vaginal penetration by a dildo. I consent to vaginal penetration by a vibrator.
Anal Penetration
I consent to anal penetration by a full fist. I consent to anal penetration by sex toys. I consent to anal penetration with a dildo. I consent to anal penetration with a vibrator. I consent to anal penetration with a butt plug
Sexually Transmitted Diseases
I have now, or have had in the past, the following STDs: chlamydia.
Signed by: ____________________________________
Print name: ___________________________________
Date: 05/21/2004
In other various news of my life, I'll give a shortened version of minor updates that I've been meaning to write about, but haven't. These will probably be shorter than if I were in the mood to write, and are in no particular order.
I finally got to visit
elorie in Athens. Was delightful to see her again. thinkmonkey has a pretty cool house in a cute li'l neighborhood, and the park within walking distance was fabulous. elorie's namesake wildcats wouldn't show any more of themselves than a patch of fur through a log, but one of my totems, the golden eagle, was easier to see. I don't realize just how BIG those fuckers are till I'm close to 'em. Anyway, it's cool as fuck that they have this kickass FREE park with a mini-zoo, plus a big ole duck-feeding pond. Also got to go to this AWESOME coffee shop called Aromas. Coffee and other yummy hot drinks, as well as wine, cheeses, and sweets. Great ambience, too. Probably the best coffee shop I've been in, ever. Drool.
Finally got to see Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, too, which was cool.
Best quote of the trip:
thewonderboy, regarding elorie."She's as fiesty as she is beautiful!"
Preach on, brother. :)
blckwngdorcl had a birthday a while back. We celebrated with a bunch of people at Mt. Fuji, at his request, and went bowling (not in that order). Fabulous, as always. The next day, I continued his birthday by surprising him with Agatha's, which is a mystery theatre downtown, where they do audience participation in a sort of whodunit theme. I played the part of Absurd, a member of the Venice Hellion (read, Paris Hilton) Fan Club, and I had to sing (along with several other people) a song set to the tune of My Darling Clementine. "Darksome night and shining moon...." Oh, wait, that's not right.... Hee...blckwngdorcl was Howard Spurn, and he got to say "blanking" a lot. The guy at the beginning warned him not to replace "blanking" with anything else. "I want my blanking lawyer!". He even let his hair down for the part. I loved it.We also got to see a proposal, and it just happened to be a couple that was sitting right across from us, and that was pretty cool.
It was a really good time, and they have different shows about 5 times a year. The food was really good, and it's $55/person for food, tip, and show, which is actually pretty good. We're seriously considering trying to work it into our budget on a regular basis. And definitely something more fun with a big party, so we'll try to inform people, and make it a group outing. Well worth it. :)
Hmmmmmmm.... I have a few more insightful things to say about
blckwngdorcl, but I'm still not in an insightful mood, so those will have to wait.I should point out that it's especially annoying that I can't sleep, since I have to wake up in 3.5 hours. Much to do tomorrow.
One of the things on the schedule for tomorrow is an appointment with an animal communicator. She comes highly recommended by an acquaintance who used to live at Shadowbrook, so at least I have a personal testimonial. And the problem with my cats hasn't gotten any better, and has in fact gotten worse, so I'm hoping she can help. I've tried everything (and I do mean everything) else, so this is kinda the last straw. Although I'm not willing to give up the cats if it doesn't work. Just a matter of working with the problem, I guess. Anyway, I'm totally hoping it'll work. She's already talked to the cats, and she said they had a lot to say, so I'm hoping it's something that can be worked out. It's not godawful expensive, and it's certainly less than the costs that I've already incurred for the problem, so it's a fucking bargain if it works. I'll keep you posted, and sing her praises to high heaven if warranted. Again, she comes highly recommended by someone I actually know, so.......
Can't think of much else to say, except for my other current annoyance (besides my insomnia). I have a cold sore. I'm 35 fucking years old, and I've never had a cold sore in my life, until now. And, yeah, I know that cold sores are common (40% of adults have had them) and that the herpes virus is even more common (99% of humans have been exposed), but STILL. It's just fucking ANNOYING. I can't kiss anyone, and I can't give head. Luckily, I know I haven't given head in a while, which is a good thing, because I've been told (by someone who accidentally gave his wife genital herpes by eating her out before the cold sore actually broke out) that the time before the cold sore actually breaks out is the most contagious time. I can't find any reference to that online, but I spoke to a doctor about it at the time, because I didn't think it was true at the time.
However, knowing that the prodromal phase is highly contagious, makes me wonder how long after the cold sore goes away that I have to wait before kissing and/or giving head again. I can't find that information on the web. Bastards.
*sigh* I think I might be getting sleepy now. Good thing, too.
Ni'night!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject