Janus

[bookofmirrors]

BlckwngdOrcl and I (and the cats, of course) have been in Champaign 10 days. Technically, less than this, since, even though we left Atlanta on the 9th, we didn't arrive here until about 3am (Central Time, which is what we're on now) on the 10th.

I'm currently sitting at the small computer desk that didn't get completely disassembled, using Glenn's computer, which is the only one hooked up. My desk hasn't made its way out of the Ikea boxes it's been in for months, and Glenn's (main) desk is in pieces lying about, and possibly more in boxes we haven't gone through yet. I've tamed my sinuses, which have been absolutely horrific since we got here, for what I'm sure are a myriad of reasons, so that I can taste the food I've prepared for myself - Granny Smith apples from the fruit basket The Cat Doctor sent us after Loki was helped to her Heaven, and a raw sheep milk cheese I got from The Urbana Farmers' Market this morning. Spy_Isis will be jealous to know that it's from Prairie Fruits Farm. Uncharacteristically, I wanted wine with this small feast; but, since it's uncharacteristic, the only wine I have is a red wine I got from Dreamland for cooking, and some wine I got for my sister because it has her name. Neither would be suited for the cheese and apples (I'm guessing, extrapolating what I know about coffee to apply to wine), and besides, I really should keep the wine to give her, since she wouldn't open the first bottle I got her.

As an aside, now that I can breathe again, it would seem that I have little to no sense of taste, which troubles me less in and of itself, since I assume it's not a permanent thing, but because it seems such an injustice to what's in front of me, which I'm perhaps too introspectively imbuing with several poetic properties... the apples (from an unknown and not likely to be organic and/or local) representing Atlanta, the past, loss, but (presumably) tasting sweet, with the touch of tartness the variety is known for; and the cheese, representing Champaign, the present/future, created from local, pastured sheep on idyllic land, hand-crafted with care and taken to a local market where I purchased it. The apples a gift from another, for my mourning; the cheese, a gift to myself, for something that feels more quiet than a celebration.

But, I digress, somewhat. I'll get into the more reflective aspects of this post later. Certainly, part of the reason for this post is a more mundane accounting of the move, and what's happened since then.



It took longer than I thought. Or, more accurately, it took about as long as I originally thought it would, before the mover assured me that I'd be surprised at how fast it would go. Having my expectations thus raised, everything then seemed to crawl.

It took about 6 hours for the movers to pack our stuff. We had to leave more behind than we intended, since it didn't occur to me that the movers wouldn't move liquids, and that what little space and consideration we'd given to stuff that would absolutely have to be kept cold and transported by us was quickly overwhelmed by all the extras that suddenly encroached on that space. I had to pack the non-perishable food myself, and didn't realize until later that I'd somehow completely forgotten the canned goods, after what I thought was a thorough last-minute check. We didn't leave Atlanta until right around rush-hour. BlckwngdOrcl, with his uncanny ability to control time, I believe was largely responsible for how smoothly this went. There were a few incidents with the cats. Silver threw up, as expected, but did so at an unprecedentedly short distance from the house, which was convenient, for cleanup purposes. I was worried about litterbox issues over such a long trip, and we stopped somewhere in Tennessee (I think) to get some old shirts that were miraculously in the trunk, and completed the somewhat daunting task of taking each carrier out, removing the cat, holding on tightly and praying they wouldn't try to escape, while a shirt was placed in the bottom of each carrier, and everything else put back in place. Other than Silver and Ashira's collars breaking, it went pretty smoothly. It may have been a superfluous exercise, since there were no such "accidents" on the trip, and the cats were too interested in the new environment to pay much attention to the litterboxes, food, and water that I insisted be in place before we even let any of them out.

Since we were foolish enough to move during Mercury retrograde, there was a misunderstanding about when the furniture would be delivered, so we spent 2 nights instead of one on the air mattress in the living room, and being grateful that I'd had the presence of mind to bring a basic overnight bag, "just in case".





As some of the hullabaloo has died down, I realize with remorse that I left things undone in Atlanta. I didn't get around to having that last cup of coffee or whatever with a lot of the people I would have liked to see one more time. I didn't get to go visit my Liberty House client and his wife before I left. I realize I still have things that belong to other people, which will eventually get mailed there, I suppose. I realize that, because of my work schedule, I was more familiar with the absence of my friends than with their presence, so, with few exceptions, saying goodbye wasn't as poignant as I would have expected. Not seeing those I love for long periods of time had already become all too common. Being 600+ miles away didn't seem too different. It didn't really hit me until I unpacked our mugs that our friends had signed. That's when the nostalgia, and the tears, hit.





The cats, on the other hand, have adjusted surprisingly well. There's really not much to say about it. They're all doing well, and Silver has decided he's ready to go outside. Unfortunately for him, I'm not ready to take him just yet. They're fascinated by the balcony when we go out there; the encroaching jungle of our old balcony, even with its steady stream of birds and squirrels, has nothing on the fascination factor of quick and noisy college students walking and/or cavorting about the pool area. Even better that the weather has been nice enough to leave the Ikea chairs and tables out there (Lord knows where I'm going to put them when the weather gets bad...), so the Beastie and I have spent some time out there drinking coffee and whatnot, chattering, while the cats alternately wander about looking around, or contentedly crawl in our laps and watch their new kingdom in 98.6-ish degree comfort.





So, we have a new address (which I posted a long time ago in a friends-locked post, which I've just edited for some clarity, and to include our new cell-phone numbers). If you don't have access to the post, and you want the info, email me and I'll pass it along.





In my usual style, the kitchen being the heart of the house, in my opinion, that was what I tackled first. And, even though I told myself prior to the move I wouldn't do this, that it certainly wasn't necessary, when the dishes came out looking all dusty, I went ahead and started washing every single one of them anyway. As a result, it wasn't until today that it was finished, and I haven't wanted to start in earnest on any of the other rooms until it was done. Granted, I didn't spend every hour of every day on it. There were other little things that had to be done, and certainly breaks to be taken, since unpacking is surprisingly exhausting. And I say it's "done" with a bit of untruth, since it's become apparent that some of the kitchen stuff is apparently in boxes marked something other than "Kitchen". (Most notably, my Vita-Mix containers, which am I 100% sure were packed. Frustrating to be without it, though.) So, I'm sure more will emerge as we go, but it's got a space (I hope... the space filled up surprisingly fast, even with me putting all my Warsaw Cut Glass in my grandparents' buffet) when it does.

BlckwngdOrcl was able to focus on his office a bit, when he wasn't helping me, so, as I mentioned, he has a working computer. Mostly, though, it's in disarray, and my office, which is my last priority, is the most cluttered of all. I've decided putting (or re-putting) together the furniture is my last priority, so that pretty much leaves my office undone till the last minute. If it weren't for the fact that the dining room table is currently in pieces all over the place, the dining room would be completely put together, too. (Well, that and the boxes of discarded packing material that are currently taking up that space...)

We made an educated splurge on a high-capacity deep-freezer, so we could pick up the 75-ish pounds of beef that I bought via a local Weston A. Price group months and months ago. One of the members with lots of freezer room was gracious enough to store it for us until we got here, and we picked it up last night. After much thought on the subject, I have decided to go back to eating meat, but only from locally and humanely raised and slaughtered animals. Although I haven't read the book, I'm guessing that Lierre Keith's The Vegetarian Myth probably closely follows a lot of the discoveries I've made myself, and might be a good read. This makes me a social vegetarian, basically (I haven't been brave enough to be a social vegan, although to do so would more closely fit my personal philosophy), unless we eat somewhere like Chipotle, or an expensive restaurant that follows the same principles. (This is why we're going to eat at home for the most part, now that we have food.) I've gotten the information I need to get raw milk, raw cream, raw-milk butter, and eggs from pastured chickens, and even a SCARYCHEAP source of gallon jars to get the milk in (no website). Apparently, Illinois law won't let the distributors of raw milk package it for you. And, of course, it's still sold as "pet" milk, not for consumption by humans. I found the Farmers' Market this morning, as I mentioned, and got lots of info there (and registered to vote!), and also know who to contact for a local food co-op/CSA. We've found both the local co-op grocery stores, as well as this ridiculously ginormous grocery-store-and-then-some that puts any Super Wal-Mart and/or Target I've ever seen to shame. We went grocery shopping last night (it's 24 hours, too, hooray!) and planned to go through the entire store to look the whole thing over... we got through the grocery section, and the pharmacy section, and started to go through the rest of the store, but finally we both had to admit that our knees and feet hurt, and that the store had kicked our ass. We were in there at least 2 hours, according to the Beastie. I shit you not. (In my attempt to find a link to the store, I find in its Wiki that this type of store is known as a HyperMarket, that the organization has made some nice charitable donations, and that they don't treat the GLBT community very well. Hmmmm.....)





On the job front, the job at the plasma donation center fell through. I was supposed to have a second interview the day after we got here (well, the 10th), after the lady from the first interview told me that if it were up to her, she would have hired me on the spot. A couple of days before the move, I got a call saying the position had been filled. I checked once I got here, 'cause I knew they'd had a lot of openings, and I thought I could work a classification or two below my skill set, but there were NO positions left. Interestingly enough, one of the people I've met here donates plasma often, and when I saw her for the second time, she said that one of the people there had quit. Naturally, I spent the next day trying to get a hold of the manager, in hopes they could skip the prelims and get me in quickly. When I finally did get a hold of her, turns out that it wasn't so much that all their positions had been filled, as that they'd all been frozen. All the people that were partway through the process were hired immediately, to get them in under the wire, but I hadn't been far enough along for them to do that. And, sadly, even though they were (at least, apparently) one person short, they couldn't hire anyone for a replacement. So, dead end there. I spent one night in the wee hours of the morning applying for everything medical I could find, and today stopped in at the one place that kept crashing Firefox every time I tried to go to their website. I got the card of the person to talk to on Monday; works out well, I suppose, since I wasn't exactly dressed for an on-the-spot interview; it was a spur-of-the-moment thing as I walked by. BlckwngdOrcl's been looking online, and we're probably both going to go hunting on foot sometime next week, too. I'm still confident we'll find something. There are lots of jobs out there, surprisingly. The immunization clinic still apparently hasn't fixed their scheduling issues, so, while I still have that job, I have no hours yet, and not sure when I will. So, hope is not lost, but the timeline has changed, and that's frustrating.





Because of the joys of the internet, in addition to finding like-minded foodie-types, I also already had an in with the local pagan community. So, on the 13th, we went to the monthly Pagan Night Out, in a coffee shop that I remember from my college days, and had always wanted to go to. Made some interesting connections, and reinforced and added to them by going to a meeting of the Pagan Student Association on Thursday. Also happened to drive by what is apparently the only real pagan store in town (I guess there's one that kindasorta is pagany in Lincoln Square Mall, and the one I used to go to when I was in college still exists, but online only) and stopped in. Overall, I'm very pleased with what I'm seeing so far, and look forward to being part of that community again. I hope I don't repeat getting a job that effectively eliminates my social life this time. Rent comes first, of course, but I'm really hoping to be able to have my cake and eat it too this time.

That's the mundane stuff, for the most part. And I know I've already written a novel. If you're still reading, get up, get a drink, or something. There's more. (As an aside, my sense of taste slowly came back, and I was able to fully enjoy my apples and cheese as I wrote.)






It's been interesting, coming back here, 20 years later. I remember a great deal, but I've forgotten more, I think. I drive around, and see what's around me, and have little pings of memory. I drove past the Champaign County Courthouse today, and had a sudden flash of memory that I had been there before. I can't remember why, and can't even imagine why I would have been in the courthouse while I went to school here. I can only assume it had something to do with a class, or maybe even something with graduating. But it was familiar suddenly and puzzlingly.

The quad is the same, but different.... the colors muted somehow, everything strangely distant, even as I stand there. Green Street and CampusTown... the same, but different. Johnstowne Centre doesn't really exist anymore, per se, and all the fabulous little shops that were there before are gone. Little things like this, along with the fact that it seems like most of the local radio stations play predominantly 80s music, make it almost surreal to be here - like I've stepped back in time, but to some alternate reality where a few tweaks have been made here and there.

And yet, the more I go out, the more I get involved, the more I settle, both physically and metaphysically, into this new experience, the more it feels like home to me. Not like coming home, exactly. There's not that sense you always hear about in books/movies where people go back home, and it feels like, well, coming home. I was never this grounded when I lived here before, never had the insight and the wisdom that I gained from my experiences in Atlanta, from Core. I'm not the same person I was before, just as Champaign-Urbana isn't the same community I knew. But, of course, it's also true that we are both the same, as well. But I feel ...I feel like I can appreciate what's here more now. I can feel the ancientness of the land, the quiet wisdom that cradles everything... a much more quiet strength, a quiet energy, so much softer than Atlanta. The first time I came back to the Midwest to visit after being in Atlanta, I scornfully remarked that it was an energetic dead zone. But now I see how wrong that was... that the energy here has a more solid base that I've never been able to access in Atlanta (although, underneath all the layers, it must be there, I suppose). And yet... there's a strong sense of forward movement. The students and faculty of the University (and Parkland) are very much the heart of the area in a lot of ways, and you can feel the sweeping sense of progress, of change, of hope imbued in everything here. And even though the vernacular is the same, I'm not endorsing any particular political agenda when I say that. It's just the surging tide of movement, constantly replenished by each new wave of freshmen that come in, all with fresh new ideas, bright dreams for the future. It permeates everything here. I can feel it supporting and coaxing out those impulses in myself, and I like what I'm feeling. And I can feel the deeper cradling of the more solid energies beneath. It's like everything I need is here - everything I need to make the next steps in my life, everything I need to take what I learned in Atlanta and begin to apply it. It's awe-some and humbling, inspiring and joyful.



I miss Atlanta.

I'm glad I came.

Comments

[rosencrantz23.livejournal.com]

welcome.... back? to CU

I'm down on the opposite side of Urbana from your apt, but considering the size of the city (especially compared to Atlanta), that doesn't pose too much problems for meeting for coffee/lunch/badger.

If/when you feel up to socializing, drop me a line and I'd be happy to meet you.

[bookofmirrors.livejournal.com]

Love to! Of course, we're fresh out of cash, so would likely have to be after we get paychecks, or after we donate some plasma for cash (which we're planning on doing tomorrow, but we need milk first, so not sure what'll be left over).

Let me know your schedule. Ours is pretty much wide open.

[ianphanes.livejournal.com]

Welcome to both of you. I hope to see you around regularly.

[bookofmirrors.livejournal.com]

We plan to be around! :) Barring any upcoming work schedules, of course....