Fuck

[bookofmirrors]

I totally can't breathe right now. I'm audibly wheezing even after having used my inhaler. I took an albuterol tablet about half an hour ago, so it should kick in soon. I also took another one about 5 minutes ago, after having looked up the dosages online and determining it was safe. I've always just used the inhaler, but my doctor gave me the tablets last time, 'cause they're on those $4 prescription things a lot of places have, and the inhaler is a lot more expensive. Of course, it requires me to take the pills daily, and I never take anything daily... but I've been trying to lately, because clearly my allergies are in full swing right now. In the Midwest, my bad season was September, so stands to reason I'd be miserable now in Atlanta. So, I've been pretty diligent about taking the tablets and some Mucinex-D twice a day. It's worked pretty well, for the most part, but this morning is about the worst my asthma's ever been. I keep coughing, as my body reacts to the lack of oxygen, which is a common indicator of asthma. However, I'm actually bringing up some thickish yellow mucous when I cough, so maybe I'm starting to get sick on top of it all. David's wife was sick with horrible coughing and general misery a few days ago, so it's possible I picked that up.

Soooooooo.... I'm sitting here pretty much glued to the computer, where I'm not doing anything that might make me breathe even harder, and sitting up so I can at least be in a good anatomical position. The Beastie was a good Beastie and made me what I've had for breakfast the past few days - an apple, a couple of handfuls of those little carrots, some fresh ginger, a little flax seed oil, ice and water, all blended up in the Vita-Mix to make a juice-thing. I think he makes them better than I do, but could've used more ginger, I think. So, with that to have something on my stomach, I took the aforementioned pills (and some vitamins, which I'm also trying to be better about), and, as I said, am now just waiting for them to kick in. After which we're going to shower, as soon as I feel like I can do so without dying of asphyxiation.

Last night, I kept having what might have been real, and what might have been olfactory hallucinations. It's hard to say. When I got to work and went upstairs, I thought I smelled bleach VERY strongly. I figured the housekeeper had used bleach upstairs. When I got downstairs, I didn't really notice anything (acclimated?) but David, who had just gotten home asked what the smell was. Kathleen said she had sprayed some Oust to get rid of the smell of the soup cooking. When we got upstairs later, I didn't really smell the bleach, and Kathleen assured me that Betty hadn't used any that day. David speculated that I had smelled the Oust, but seemed unlikely, given the distance between the kitchen and bedroom. So, not sure.

Then, when I got home, and was taking the cats outside for their nightly romp, at one point, the wind blew really hard, and I swear I smelled this sharp metallic scent on the air, again, pretty strong. I called blckwngdorcl (OMG, RoseQuoll is down - no cute li'l raven picture!) to come and see if he noticed it, too, but by the time he got there, I couldn't smell it anymore, and he didn't notice anything, either.

So, not sure what that means. Hallucinations, hypersensitivity... who knows? I remember being sick once, and for some reason I was hypersensitive to smells for a day or two. I remember Fig being in the kitchen, opening up a can of ravioli, and I could smell it clearly in the next room, and said so, while he could barely smell it right next to it. If that's the case now, though, it seems to come and go.

I was supposed to go out and do a bookstore date today, and give the Beastie some alone time. I'm not sure that's going to work now... I'm hoping that the pills kick in and I can take a shower, and then go. I've been doing a fruit/veggie only fast (I figure the flax seed is OK) for a couple of days - this will be the 3rd day - so I wasn't going to have coffee while I was there, but I know coffee is good for asthma, and I don't mind taking it for medicinal purposes. I drink it black, anyway. Speaking of which, I meant to look up about so-called carb addiction. Is there a period after which the "addiction" is all in your head? It would be cool if I had moved past that. I've pretty much eliminated all sugar (I use agave) and am using only whole grain sprouted bread and pasta at home. Restaurants, it's all fair game, but I rejoice when I see a place that offers whole wheat pasta. So, doing pretty well in that arena. Dining out is my downfall, but that's the silver lining of being broke.

I desperately want to read Wicked, which had been my plan for today. We saw the musical on my birthday. We won the lottery for $25 orchestra seats, which was cool, even though these particular seats were so far to the right that we sometimes couldn't see what was happening. It was a good show, and it made me wanna read the book even more than I did before. It's too long for a typical bookstore date, and there's a waiting list of like 15 people for every copy in the library, but I figured I could make a dent in it, at least, and would be then motivated to do other bookstore dates.

We also went to Dialog in the Dark on my birthday, which was cool. I'd make a bad blind person. I like to forge ahead, which means I bump into people a lot. Granted, the space there was small (or so it seemed, with no light), but still. I did make an interesting observation, though. Our guide (who was blind, of course) was kinda touchyfeely and gave fabulous hugs, and it occurred to me that, if I were blind, I'd probably prefer fat people, 'cause they're so much softer and squishier. Interesting perspective.

I started going to the gym again, and was going every night. I got around to going to the orientation thing they do, where they weigh you and check your percentage of body fat and all that, and set up a program for you. Which they did, and I REALLY liked the guy who did it (a tad judgmental in his energy only, but very professional, and knew his shit), but he pretty much said not-in-so-many-words that I shouldn't come back till I got a new pair of shoes. They gave me the names of few places in town that were reputable for fitting sports shoes, and a few online places to actually buy them cheaper once I figured out which ones I needed. I have really wide feet, so buying shoes is a huge pain in the ass for me. I have a pair of New Balance shoes, which are good shoes, but no longer fit. I couldn't figure out why, 'cause I didn't think one's foot size changed as an adult, but the guy at the gym said that, if you pronate, which I do, your feet can actually get wider, which is seems like mine have. So, I haven't been back yet... I'll get paid soon, and then I'll do a little shopping for shoes. I really need to exercise more.

OK... it's been just over an hour since I took the first pill, and I'm just now starting to feel some relief.

Oh happy day. Showering soon.