![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bookofmirrors1. Leave me a comment saying you want to do the meme.
2. I'll respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better.
3. You should update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You should include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions.
My Questions from
DarthBecca
1. What is your connection to qadishtu? Do you consider yourself a sacred sexual teacher or practitioner? Why or why not?
I was first introduced to the concept of Qadishtu by
Tojuwa, as I think most of us in the local area were. I vaguely remember watching someone on Donahue who I now realize was Qadishtu. At the time, though, I was really young, and it was just some strange thing on TV that didn't really make much sense to me. Didn't help that I was probably prepubescent at the time. But, with few exceptions, I've always been pretty comfortable with my sexuality, and I've somehow always connected it with a healing element. I remember reading It when I was about 12, and there was a scene at the end where all the kids were stuck in the sewers or whatever, and the girl realized that the one way to save them all was to have sex with each of them. I recognized this scene as sweet, and sacred, and it always made perfect sense to me, even though it was pretty incongruous with the rest of the book. I've always found sex to be healing on one level or another, so when I discovered that there was actually a school of thinking that went along those same lines, it was just a perfect fit for me. When Tojuwa first started The Temple of the Red Lotus, I was at the first meeting (which, I suppose, technically makes me a founding member, but not really, as you'll see), and had every intention of being deeply involved, taking the training, etc.. However, between work, school, and various aspects of co-dependency, I just found myself not having the time to devote. I was lamenting how to tell her this when she called me herself and pointed out that I hadn't been able to do anything past the first meeting, and that she thought that maybe this wasn't working for me right now. I was sad to leave, but happy that we were on the same page. I've done a few things with them at festivals, but this has been limited, and when it comes to Sacred Service of any kind, I've been so depleted in my own stores, I haven't felt like I have much to give. This is changing, as I've left my day job, for which I'm grateful. As for how it fits into my life right now... well, as a solid path, I think I've strayed away from that. However, I think what I've learned in Core is extremely complementary and compatible with Qadishtu teachings. There's no sex to be had in Core therapy, but there is touching, working with the body, and other things that are compatible with Qadishtu thought. For example, an entire therapy session might be just holding a client who never got that as a child. I still very much believe in the concept of Qadishtu, and support it. I don't think I'll ever do it professionally (even as an aspect of Core), but I think each (consensual) sexual experience has an element of healing in it, and I'd like to think that that's something I practice as a matter of course. I don't think that makes me a sacred sexual teacher or practitioner, because I think I'd need the actual training to call myself that. Maybe a lay artist. (Ummm... no pun intended.)
2. You also have vegetarianism listed - are you a strict vegetarian? If so, what made you come to that decision? If not, what meat do you still eat, and why?
Hmmmmm... this is a harder question than it looks. :) I originally came to the decision to be a vegetarian for health reasons. Yeah, living creatures and all that, but I also think rocks and plants have a life energy, and one has to eat SOMETHING. I just wanted to be healthier, and thinner would be good, too. I was actually pretty intrigued by Brenda Cobb's book, and I think someday I'd like to do a Living/Raw Foods thing. Finances took me back to being an omnivore, since
BlckwngdOrcl is an "unrepentant carnivore", and it cost too much to have to buy double the groceries. Then, one day, I was driving down the road, and saw this Canadian goose that had been hit by a car. It wasn't your usual roadkill, all flat and dirty. It was still plump and beautiful - just dead, with its wings all fucked up. For some reason, this just struck me, and I totally bawled all the way to my destination. It just felt like such disregard for another living creature. I stopped eating all fowl/poultry at that point, and gradually just stopped eating meat altogether. I still do dairy and eggs, although I'm noticing more and more that dairy and I are not getting along. Maybe that was always the case, and I'm just now more in touch with my body that I'm noticing. Anyway, I'm leaning towards giving that up, but OMG I lovelovelove milk, and add a few more loves for ice cream. :) Plus, even though I know research indicates otherwise, I hate giving up eggs as a source of protein. Ditto for cheese, not to mention that sharp crumbly cheese is way up on the top of my adore list. But, I think I'll eventually listen to my body on that, too. I do it for health, for sure, although that's a slow uphill battle. Cake, after all, is vegetarian. :) I'm also happy that I'm not perpetuating some of the cruel conditions that some animals go through on their way to the dinner table.
You asked if I was a strict vegetarian, though. I'm not. In the midst of my vegetarianism, I was in a class for Shamanism, in which we found our Power Animals. Mine was a carnivore, and for several weeks, I would suddenly find myself "tasting" and "feeling" meat in my teeth, the ripping of it, the raw passion of eating it. This really troubled me, because I had hit the stage where, often, the thought of eating meat made me kinda nauseous. I did a meditation on it. What I got from that was the difference between predator and prey. Prey felt very grounded, connected to the earth, with deep tones. Predators were still connected to the earth, but they were more of the other elements, moving swiftly and purposefully, and their tones were higher. When the predator captured and ate the prey, at that moment, each was given a taste (er...) of what it was like to be the other. It was the last gift of one to the other. What I was told at the end of the meditation was that, if I could eat meat with that same level of passion, then there was nothing wrong with it. As a result, when I've felt extremely passionate about it (usually after sex), I've been known to go out to a steakhouse. I never fail to connect to the animal/species I'm going to eat, get permission, and offer thanks. There have been other times when I've personally just wanted to eat something, and I've connected to the animal to ask permission. Sometimes I get a yes, sometimes a no, and I honor that. Salmon, especially, wants me to eat it. Something about the wisdom.
I made a post on this a while back that discusses some of the same things. Some of it repeats what I've said here, but it might offer more clarification.
3. You are clearly pagan-minded. What is one experience that has really been quintessential for you as a pagan?
Hmmmm.... I always want to say that it was my first gather, back in (whatBlckwngdOrcl and I have just worked out to probably be) 1997-ish, which was put on by Tribe (not Keltoi). I had never never been to a gather before, or really been in a place where there was more than 1 or 2 like-minded people. The energy I felt there was amazing. During the opening ritual, I brushed up against someone, and my whole body lit up. There were workshops about things I was interested in, and people there who had apparently studied, and were even making a living, doing those things. It was amazing. I met a lot of really cool people there, some of whom I still know/keep in contact with today. I was living in Illinois at the time, but the gather was put on by Atlanta people, and I think that was a factor in my moving down here in 2000. This was certainly what I would consider to be the first real step on the path. I'd been interested for years, but it was the first time I was introduced to anything like a community of pagans. I was pretty much hooked. :)
4. It looks like, from your ticker things on your profile, that you handfasted with your hubby after only 4 months of dating. Why did you make this decision? Did you worry it was super fast?
Strangely, I wasn't worried about it at all. Perhaps this entry, at least the prologue section of it, will shed some light on it. I don't regret it for a minute. :)
5. If you had to choose one nice thing to do for yourself, like buy yourself a gift of any size, any price, what would it be?
I'd be more likely to buy myself something intangible, like paying off my debts and/or paying for more schooling. For something tangible, I'd love to buy property (100 acres isBlckwngdOrcl's choice) and build a straw-bale house to our specifications, and live happily ever after. :)
2. I'll respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better.
3. You should update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You should include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions.
My Questions from
DarthBecca1. What is your connection to qadishtu? Do you consider yourself a sacred sexual teacher or practitioner? Why or why not?
I was first introduced to the concept of Qadishtu by
Tojuwa, as I think most of us in the local area were. I vaguely remember watching someone on Donahue who I now realize was Qadishtu. At the time, though, I was really young, and it was just some strange thing on TV that didn't really make much sense to me. Didn't help that I was probably prepubescent at the time. But, with few exceptions, I've always been pretty comfortable with my sexuality, and I've somehow always connected it with a healing element. I remember reading It when I was about 12, and there was a scene at the end where all the kids were stuck in the sewers or whatever, and the girl realized that the one way to save them all was to have sex with each of them. I recognized this scene as sweet, and sacred, and it always made perfect sense to me, even though it was pretty incongruous with the rest of the book. I've always found sex to be healing on one level or another, so when I discovered that there was actually a school of thinking that went along those same lines, it was just a perfect fit for me. When Tojuwa first started The Temple of the Red Lotus, I was at the first meeting (which, I suppose, technically makes me a founding member, but not really, as you'll see), and had every intention of being deeply involved, taking the training, etc.. However, between work, school, and various aspects of co-dependency, I just found myself not having the time to devote. I was lamenting how to tell her this when she called me herself and pointed out that I hadn't been able to do anything past the first meeting, and that she thought that maybe this wasn't working for me right now. I was sad to leave, but happy that we were on the same page. I've done a few things with them at festivals, but this has been limited, and when it comes to Sacred Service of any kind, I've been so depleted in my own stores, I haven't felt like I have much to give. This is changing, as I've left my day job, for which I'm grateful. As for how it fits into my life right now... well, as a solid path, I think I've strayed away from that. However, I think what I've learned in Core is extremely complementary and compatible with Qadishtu teachings. There's no sex to be had in Core therapy, but there is touching, working with the body, and other things that are compatible with Qadishtu thought. For example, an entire therapy session might be just holding a client who never got that as a child. I still very much believe in the concept of Qadishtu, and support it. I don't think I'll ever do it professionally (even as an aspect of Core), but I think each (consensual) sexual experience has an element of healing in it, and I'd like to think that that's something I practice as a matter of course. I don't think that makes me a sacred sexual teacher or practitioner, because I think I'd need the actual training to call myself that. Maybe a lay artist. (Ummm... no pun intended.)2. You also have vegetarianism listed - are you a strict vegetarian? If so, what made you come to that decision? If not, what meat do you still eat, and why?
Hmmmmm... this is a harder question than it looks. :) I originally came to the decision to be a vegetarian for health reasons. Yeah, living creatures and all that, but I also think rocks and plants have a life energy, and one has to eat SOMETHING. I just wanted to be healthier, and thinner would be good, too. I was actually pretty intrigued by Brenda Cobb's book, and I think someday I'd like to do a Living/Raw Foods thing. Finances took me back to being an omnivore, since
BlckwngdOrcl is an "unrepentant carnivore", and it cost too much to have to buy double the groceries. Then, one day, I was driving down the road, and saw this Canadian goose that had been hit by a car. It wasn't your usual roadkill, all flat and dirty. It was still plump and beautiful - just dead, with its wings all fucked up. For some reason, this just struck me, and I totally bawled all the way to my destination. It just felt like such disregard for another living creature. I stopped eating all fowl/poultry at that point, and gradually just stopped eating meat altogether. I still do dairy and eggs, although I'm noticing more and more that dairy and I are not getting along. Maybe that was always the case, and I'm just now more in touch with my body that I'm noticing. Anyway, I'm leaning towards giving that up, but OMG I lovelovelove milk, and add a few more loves for ice cream. :) Plus, even though I know research indicates otherwise, I hate giving up eggs as a source of protein. Ditto for cheese, not to mention that sharp crumbly cheese is way up on the top of my adore list. But, I think I'll eventually listen to my body on that, too. I do it for health, for sure, although that's a slow uphill battle. Cake, after all, is vegetarian. :) I'm also happy that I'm not perpetuating some of the cruel conditions that some animals go through on their way to the dinner table. You asked if I was a strict vegetarian, though. I'm not. In the midst of my vegetarianism, I was in a class for Shamanism, in which we found our Power Animals. Mine was a carnivore, and for several weeks, I would suddenly find myself "tasting" and "feeling" meat in my teeth, the ripping of it, the raw passion of eating it. This really troubled me, because I had hit the stage where, often, the thought of eating meat made me kinda nauseous. I did a meditation on it. What I got from that was the difference between predator and prey. Prey felt very grounded, connected to the earth, with deep tones. Predators were still connected to the earth, but they were more of the other elements, moving swiftly and purposefully, and their tones were higher. When the predator captured and ate the prey, at that moment, each was given a taste (er...) of what it was like to be the other. It was the last gift of one to the other. What I was told at the end of the meditation was that, if I could eat meat with that same level of passion, then there was nothing wrong with it. As a result, when I've felt extremely passionate about it (usually after sex), I've been known to go out to a steakhouse. I never fail to connect to the animal/species I'm going to eat, get permission, and offer thanks. There have been other times when I've personally just wanted to eat something, and I've connected to the animal to ask permission. Sometimes I get a yes, sometimes a no, and I honor that. Salmon, especially, wants me to eat it. Something about the wisdom.
I made a post on this a while back that discusses some of the same things. Some of it repeats what I've said here, but it might offer more clarification.
3. You are clearly pagan-minded. What is one experience that has really been quintessential for you as a pagan?
Hmmmm.... I always want to say that it was my first gather, back in (what
BlckwngdOrcl and I have just worked out to probably be) 1997-ish, which was put on by Tribe (not Keltoi). I had never never been to a gather before, or really been in a place where there was more than 1 or 2 like-minded people. The energy I felt there was amazing. During the opening ritual, I brushed up against someone, and my whole body lit up. There were workshops about things I was interested in, and people there who had apparently studied, and were even making a living, doing those things. It was amazing. I met a lot of really cool people there, some of whom I still know/keep in contact with today. I was living in Illinois at the time, but the gather was put on by Atlanta people, and I think that was a factor in my moving down here in 2000. This was certainly what I would consider to be the first real step on the path. I'd been interested for years, but it was the first time I was introduced to anything like a community of pagans. I was pretty much hooked. :)4. It looks like, from your ticker things on your profile, that you handfasted with your hubby after only 4 months of dating. Why did you make this decision? Did you worry it was super fast?
Strangely, I wasn't worried about it at all. Perhaps this entry, at least the prologue section of it, will shed some light on it. I don't regret it for a minute. :)
5. If you had to choose one nice thing to do for yourself, like buy yourself a gift of any size, any price, what would it be?
I'd be more likely to buy myself something intangible, like paying off my debts and/or paying for more schooling. For something tangible, I'd love to buy property (100 acres is
BlckwngdOrcl's choice) and build a straw-bale house to our specifications, and live happily ever after. :)
