Pan Dimensional Healing
Jul. 16th, 2003 09:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bookofmirrorsI was going to post this in the ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
pan_dimensional but I suddenly realize I'm not a member of it. And I can't remember how to join. Hmmmm.... Can you do whatever it is you need to do to make that happen, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
keiracaitlyn?
Anyway, to make life easier, I'm going to go back to my first entry about it, and do the long-overdue writeup of the second session, and then I'll talk about today's session.
Tuesday, April 29th, 2003
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
9:58 pm - Pan Dimensional Healing
Well, I had my first session today. Apparently, I get to have more later. :)
Maria and her husband and fellow student Ken came over to work on blckwngdorcl and I simultaneously, since there was a mixup with the address/directions, so they couldn't make it to the first appointment.
They ended up doing us in separate rooms. They described what they were going to do. Basically, they were going to readjust the chakras (for things like displacement, problems with rotation, axis, etc.), and hit certain pressure points to release stored up energy. Then they would do some sort of healing grid (or maybe that happened before, I don't remember... keiracaitlyn?) Then, your Higher Self, or Selves, would come down and work on you. Everyone, of course, experiences something different.
Here's what I experienced.
I laid down on the floor in the computer room (which is also where our altar is). Ken worked on some various pressure points, apparently doing something that was the equivalent of pulling out an energetic cork to allow the stored up negative energy to release. He was saying that it sprays out like a fountain until it dies away. I couldn't really feel it as it happened, but when he was done, and letting me lie there with all these fountains draining off, I could actually feel it. The best way I can describe it (which probably isn't going to help anyone reading this at all) is that it reminded me of some of the scenes I've done with my online dom. We've done some darker things, including (willing!) human sacrifice, slow bloodletting and some other stuff. I usually get so involved in the scenes, I'll literally get woozy, light-headed, altered consciousness. This felt very much like that. I definitely felt much lighter when it was all done.
Then, he did some tonal things, apparently to call down the "Highers", as he called them. I could feel my head getting warm, feel the energy. He called again, and my arms and hands got very tingly. Strong energy. He said that the arms and hands had some significance, but I don't remember what it was, now. Then (I can't remember if he called again, or not), I could feel this warmth in my groin area. Hard to describe it. Not sexual. At some point, I felt something like a kneading, in what I later realized was the area of my ovaries. I mentioned it to Ken, who took a minute to check that out, and said that the Highers were trying to work out a section of blocked energy that needed more work, and he was being told to ask me if I was ready to release it. This kind of took me aback. I really didn't feel ready or not-ready. I figured if they were working on it at all, I must be, right? But I figured the important thing was for me to prepare myself to release it, to give it permission, so I did, even though it took me a little while. None of the releases were really painful, so much as I expected them to be, even that one, but there was definitely an ache afterwards in my ovaries area.
That was pretty much it. I asked him afterwards what had happened from his point of view, and he talked about 12 planes/dimensions, and how everyone's experience is different. In my case, I had apparently started out with level 2, then 3, then skipped up to 7. Not entirely sure what that means.
Anyway, he was told that I needed another session, and he divined that it should be in 28 days. Not surprising, given the focus of it. blckwngdorcl's is in a week, 'cause apparently that's what's right for him.
Afterwards, you're supposed to rub yourself down in sea salt, or take a hot soak in sea salt, followed immediately by a COLD shower. I wasn't real happy with this. Cold water is the one thing that will pretty much make me lose my shit. But, as I did it, I think that was kinda the point. The shock of it, which pretty much always sends me into immediate tears, and did this time as well, seemed to force some of the excess emotions out that were maybe left over from the session. Also, I noticed I acclimated to the water much easier than I ever remember doing before. I think I actually laughed. I think I was being shown that the sudden scary releases don't have to be so scary.
Afterwards, I felt the need to take a nap, which I did for about 4 hours, I think. I had another dream about my grandpa dying, about getting that phone call from my parents. I could hear tones in the background, and I either woke up, or dreamt I did, and at the time, I knew where the tones were coming from, but can't remember now.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to my next session!
Sometime in May, around the 23rd, I think... I'm not interested in going and getting my calendar out of my car to make the date perfect.
I'm posting this one long after the fact, so I'm hoping I remember the details correctly. What I do remember is that some of the draining part actually hurt. Kinda near my root chakra, on my thighs. I didn't get the same bloodletting lightheaded sensation I got before, though. When he opened the portals, I had my eyes closed. I don't remember what type of energy sensation I got, if any, but I do remember seeing these bright, supernatural colors behind my eyes. Pretty much all green and purple - I think the green was on the top and the purple on the bottom, but I really have no idea if I'm remembering that correctly, or if it was just the opposite. It was fascinating and beautiful to watch the colors. I know that pretty much everyone sees colors when they close their eyes, and even more so if you press on your eyes (stimulates the rods and cones, doncha know), but this was different. It felt different in a way I can't quite describe. Actually, not so much that it felt different, but that I just had this Knowing that it was different. And, as I said, the colors were like nothing I'd ever seen before. I don't know if them being green and purple (colors I associate withblckwngdorcl and myself, respectively) was significant or not. I don't really recall getting a sense of anything at the time, but I enjoyed the sensation. I think it was after that that he turned me over and did some work on my back. I remember feeling a tingling sensation, and Maria, who was watching across the room, said something like, "Oh, how beautiful." I asked what she was talking about, and they said my wings were beautiful, and that I had a huge wingspan. I don't remember how I felt about that. Kinda awestruck, mostly, and maybe a little ...I dunno... disbelieving? Not how to put it, other than I think maybe I thought, who was I to have wings? But at the same time, knowing it was true, and feeling the wonder of it.
Afterwards, when I took the shower, the cold water was especially harsh. I remember gritting my teeth against it, and I didn't really notice that I screamed until I heard it, as if on a time delay.
Not much else really to say about that one.
Today (July 16, 2003)
This session was withkeiracaitlyn, and I'd heard sessions with her were very different. I'd have to say that's true. :)
Apparently, my root chakra was in place, but my zero chakra (which I'd never heard of before) was at my ankles. It's supposed to be about a foot below one's feet, I'm told. Most of my chakras were tilted, usually at different angles, and my throat chakra was in one of my breasts. She had to string them together, which she said might feel weird, but didn't really. But afterwards, and maybe during, I could feel this place right on my diapragm where I could feel a warm pressure. Kinda like if a cat were sleeping there, but in a band all the way around to my sides, maybe about 6 inches wide.
It seemed to take forever for her to let me drain. Hmmm... as I sit here, I can feel something on the left side of my neck, near my jawline, draining. I don't recall her working with that area much... Anyway... She kept working with areas, mostly on my ribs, which tickled the hell outta me. I kept laughing, and feeling like I should be crying instead, but it came out as laughter instead. She said those areas were lots of fear, blaming myself instead of blaming others, and self-esteem issues. I resemble that remark. :) Anyway, she said that the areas kept moving. "Running". That pretty much sounds like me, too. And yeah, it hurt. Not horribly, except for a few times. But it definitely hurt, moreso than in previous sessions. Finally, she finished, and I could feel a peace, and an overall tingling.
She opened the portals, using a much more complicated set of tones than I'd heard in the past (and she obviously has a great voice, too). Anyway, for some reason, I opened my eyes. And I could see colors! With my eyes open! I've always lamented that I haven't been able to see energy in the past, but I could certainly see things this time! It was wonder-full and awe-inspiring, and just plain fucking cool. Mostly it was shades of gold, and occassionally, I thought I could see shapes, that mostly looked like snow angels, or moths, but they changed and faded back and forth so often that I really wasn't sure. At one point, her voice broke, and she asked what just spiked me, but I hadn't really felt anything. The only thing I noticed differently was that just before it happened, the shape seemed to solidify more for a little while. But I enjoyed what I could see for quite a while. When I closed my eyes, I really couldn't see as much... kinda like shadows. I couldn't feel anything (other than that pervading sense of peace and wonder), but I had a Knowing that others were there, helping me. I remember hearing something briefly, nothing major... some simple comment of some sort, but it was in my own voice, when I'm talking to someone in Blade and Mirror/Higher Self mode. (There's a previous entry on that, but I don't know how to post a hyperlink to it.)
Afterwards, I felt... how to describe how I felt? Lightheaded but grounded, floaty/staggery, not quite of this world, but acutely aware of it. All those things and more. Strangely enough, it didn't seem to affect my driving. (I just knowwalkingbear is cringing right now.) ;)
Anyway, I got home, went up and took the shower. Hey,keiracaitlyn, those salt pieces are awful big. Usually, I've just been rubbing myself down with salt, but I think these might be better suited for a soak. Suggestions/preferences? Anyway, I did that, then switched to the cold. Now, I had decided to be brave for the cold part this time. Usually, since cold water is one of the things that I find most aversive in the whole wide world, this part is really hard for me, and I have to force myself to move under it, and I usually go in gradually, and freak out and all that. So, this time, I positioned myself so that I was fully under the showerhead, even my head, which is the part that I usually getting cold and wet the most. So, I'm standing there, and I cut off the hot water. Note to my housemates: For some strange reason, the shower doesn't understand which faucet you've turned off, so at first, it was searing hot. Then it turned to the cold. I was bracing myself against it, and kept waiting for it to get really bad. It never really did. I mean, sure, it was unpleasant, but it didn't make me wanna scream this time. It was still pretty awful, though. And all the sudden, I could hear a voice (again, my own) say "That's enough". This surprised me. "That's ENOUGH?" I responded in my mind. "That's enough, was the calm answer. This exchange continued even as I turned off the water and dried off and got dressed again. I had trouble assimilating that. I kept expecting to have to do something more, to pay the piper or somesuch, as it were. But I kept getting this incredibly calm voice, and always it was "That's enough". I think that's something I'm supposed to keep in mind. That I don't have to always do it all, all the time, for everyone. Hmmmm.... so simple, yet so foreign to me, really.
Anyway, now that it's all over, I'm feeling less stagger-y, and more energetic.
And fucking starving.
And I got paid today, too. Heh heh.
Off to a restaurantblckwngdorcl and I go!
pan_dimensional but I suddenly realize I'm not a member of it. And I can't remember how to join. Hmmmm.... Can you do whatever it is you need to do to make that happen, keiracaitlyn?Anyway, to make life easier, I'm going to go back to my first entry about it, and do the long-overdue writeup of the second session, and then I'll talk about today's session.
Tuesday, April 29th, 2003
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
9:58 pm - Pan Dimensional Healing
Well, I had my first session today. Apparently, I get to have more later. :)
Maria and her husband and fellow student Ken came over to work on blckwngdorcl and I simultaneously, since there was a mixup with the address/directions, so they couldn't make it to the first appointment.
They ended up doing us in separate rooms. They described what they were going to do. Basically, they were going to readjust the chakras (for things like displacement, problems with rotation, axis, etc.), and hit certain pressure points to release stored up energy. Then they would do some sort of healing grid (or maybe that happened before, I don't remember... keiracaitlyn?) Then, your Higher Self, or Selves, would come down and work on you. Everyone, of course, experiences something different.
Here's what I experienced.
I laid down on the floor in the computer room (which is also where our altar is). Ken worked on some various pressure points, apparently doing something that was the equivalent of pulling out an energetic cork to allow the stored up negative energy to release. He was saying that it sprays out like a fountain until it dies away. I couldn't really feel it as it happened, but when he was done, and letting me lie there with all these fountains draining off, I could actually feel it. The best way I can describe it (which probably isn't going to help anyone reading this at all) is that it reminded me of some of the scenes I've done with my online dom. We've done some darker things, including (willing!) human sacrifice, slow bloodletting and some other stuff. I usually get so involved in the scenes, I'll literally get woozy, light-headed, altered consciousness. This felt very much like that. I definitely felt much lighter when it was all done.
Then, he did some tonal things, apparently to call down the "Highers", as he called them. I could feel my head getting warm, feel the energy. He called again, and my arms and hands got very tingly. Strong energy. He said that the arms and hands had some significance, but I don't remember what it was, now. Then (I can't remember if he called again, or not), I could feel this warmth in my groin area. Hard to describe it. Not sexual. At some point, I felt something like a kneading, in what I later realized was the area of my ovaries. I mentioned it to Ken, who took a minute to check that out, and said that the Highers were trying to work out a section of blocked energy that needed more work, and he was being told to ask me if I was ready to release it. This kind of took me aback. I really didn't feel ready or not-ready. I figured if they were working on it at all, I must be, right? But I figured the important thing was for me to prepare myself to release it, to give it permission, so I did, even though it took me a little while. None of the releases were really painful, so much as I expected them to be, even that one, but there was definitely an ache afterwards in my ovaries area.
That was pretty much it. I asked him afterwards what had happened from his point of view, and he talked about 12 planes/dimensions, and how everyone's experience is different. In my case, I had apparently started out with level 2, then 3, then skipped up to 7. Not entirely sure what that means.
Anyway, he was told that I needed another session, and he divined that it should be in 28 days. Not surprising, given the focus of it. blckwngdorcl's is in a week, 'cause apparently that's what's right for him.
Afterwards, you're supposed to rub yourself down in sea salt, or take a hot soak in sea salt, followed immediately by a COLD shower. I wasn't real happy with this. Cold water is the one thing that will pretty much make me lose my shit. But, as I did it, I think that was kinda the point. The shock of it, which pretty much always sends me into immediate tears, and did this time as well, seemed to force some of the excess emotions out that were maybe left over from the session. Also, I noticed I acclimated to the water much easier than I ever remember doing before. I think I actually laughed. I think I was being shown that the sudden scary releases don't have to be so scary.
Afterwards, I felt the need to take a nap, which I did for about 4 hours, I think. I had another dream about my grandpa dying, about getting that phone call from my parents. I could hear tones in the background, and I either woke up, or dreamt I did, and at the time, I knew where the tones were coming from, but can't remember now.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to my next session!
Sometime in May, around the 23rd, I think... I'm not interested in going and getting my calendar out of my car to make the date perfect.
I'm posting this one long after the fact, so I'm hoping I remember the details correctly. What I do remember is that some of the draining part actually hurt. Kinda near my root chakra, on my thighs. I didn't get the same bloodletting lightheaded sensation I got before, though. When he opened the portals, I had my eyes closed. I don't remember what type of energy sensation I got, if any, but I do remember seeing these bright, supernatural colors behind my eyes. Pretty much all green and purple - I think the green was on the top and the purple on the bottom, but I really have no idea if I'm remembering that correctly, or if it was just the opposite. It was fascinating and beautiful to watch the colors. I know that pretty much everyone sees colors when they close their eyes, and even more so if you press on your eyes (stimulates the rods and cones, doncha know), but this was different. It felt different in a way I can't quite describe. Actually, not so much that it felt different, but that I just had this Knowing that it was different. And, as I said, the colors were like nothing I'd ever seen before. I don't know if them being green and purple (colors I associate with
blckwngdorcl and myself, respectively) was significant or not. I don't really recall getting a sense of anything at the time, but I enjoyed the sensation. I think it was after that that he turned me over and did some work on my back. I remember feeling a tingling sensation, and Maria, who was watching across the room, said something like, "Oh, how beautiful." I asked what she was talking about, and they said my wings were beautiful, and that I had a huge wingspan. I don't remember how I felt about that. Kinda awestruck, mostly, and maybe a little ...I dunno... disbelieving? Not how to put it, other than I think maybe I thought, who was I to have wings? But at the same time, knowing it was true, and feeling the wonder of it.Afterwards, when I took the shower, the cold water was especially harsh. I remember gritting my teeth against it, and I didn't really notice that I screamed until I heard it, as if on a time delay.
Not much else really to say about that one.
Today (July 16, 2003)
This session was with
keiracaitlyn, and I'd heard sessions with her were very different. I'd have to say that's true. :)Apparently, my root chakra was in place, but my zero chakra (which I'd never heard of before) was at my ankles. It's supposed to be about a foot below one's feet, I'm told. Most of my chakras were tilted, usually at different angles, and my throat chakra was in one of my breasts. She had to string them together, which she said might feel weird, but didn't really. But afterwards, and maybe during, I could feel this place right on my diapragm where I could feel a warm pressure. Kinda like if a cat were sleeping there, but in a band all the way around to my sides, maybe about 6 inches wide.
It seemed to take forever for her to let me drain. Hmmm... as I sit here, I can feel something on the left side of my neck, near my jawline, draining. I don't recall her working with that area much... Anyway... She kept working with areas, mostly on my ribs, which tickled the hell outta me. I kept laughing, and feeling like I should be crying instead, but it came out as laughter instead. She said those areas were lots of fear, blaming myself instead of blaming others, and self-esteem issues. I resemble that remark. :) Anyway, she said that the areas kept moving. "Running". That pretty much sounds like me, too. And yeah, it hurt. Not horribly, except for a few times. But it definitely hurt, moreso than in previous sessions. Finally, she finished, and I could feel a peace, and an overall tingling.
She opened the portals, using a much more complicated set of tones than I'd heard in the past (and she obviously has a great voice, too). Anyway, for some reason, I opened my eyes. And I could see colors! With my eyes open! I've always lamented that I haven't been able to see energy in the past, but I could certainly see things this time! It was wonder-full and awe-inspiring, and just plain fucking cool. Mostly it was shades of gold, and occassionally, I thought I could see shapes, that mostly looked like snow angels, or moths, but they changed and faded back and forth so often that I really wasn't sure. At one point, her voice broke, and she asked what just spiked me, but I hadn't really felt anything. The only thing I noticed differently was that just before it happened, the shape seemed to solidify more for a little while. But I enjoyed what I could see for quite a while. When I closed my eyes, I really couldn't see as much... kinda like shadows. I couldn't feel anything (other than that pervading sense of peace and wonder), but I had a Knowing that others were there, helping me. I remember hearing something briefly, nothing major... some simple comment of some sort, but it was in my own voice, when I'm talking to someone in Blade and Mirror/Higher Self mode. (There's a previous entry on that, but I don't know how to post a hyperlink to it.)
Afterwards, I felt... how to describe how I felt? Lightheaded but grounded, floaty/staggery, not quite of this world, but acutely aware of it. All those things and more. Strangely enough, it didn't seem to affect my driving. (I just know
walkingbear is cringing right now.) ;)Anyway, I got home, went up and took the shower. Hey,
keiracaitlyn, those salt pieces are awful big. Usually, I've just been rubbing myself down with salt, but I think these might be better suited for a soak. Suggestions/preferences? Anyway, I did that, then switched to the cold. Now, I had decided to be brave for the cold part this time. Usually, since cold water is one of the things that I find most aversive in the whole wide world, this part is really hard for me, and I have to force myself to move under it, and I usually go in gradually, and freak out and all that. So, this time, I positioned myself so that I was fully under the showerhead, even my head, which is the part that I usually getting cold and wet the most. So, I'm standing there, and I cut off the hot water. Note to my housemates: For some strange reason, the shower doesn't understand which faucet you've turned off, so at first, it was searing hot. Then it turned to the cold. I was bracing myself against it, and kept waiting for it to get really bad. It never really did. I mean, sure, it was unpleasant, but it didn't make me wanna scream this time. It was still pretty awful, though. And all the sudden, I could hear a voice (again, my own) say "That's enough". This surprised me. "That's ENOUGH?" I responded in my mind. "That's enough, was the calm answer. This exchange continued even as I turned off the water and dried off and got dressed again. I had trouble assimilating that. I kept expecting to have to do something more, to pay the piper or somesuch, as it were. But I kept getting this incredibly calm voice, and always it was "That's enough". I think that's something I'm supposed to keep in mind. That I don't have to always do it all, all the time, for everyone. Hmmmm.... so simple, yet so foreign to me, really.Anyway, now that it's all over, I'm feeling less stagger-y, and more energetic.
And fucking starving.
And I got paid today, too. Heh heh.
Off to a restaurant
blckwngdorcl and I go!-
- Phil Collins from simplysakka's computer
