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[personal profile] bookofmirrors
OK, I'm awake and exhausted at 4AM. My left ankle, which often gives me fits, is giving me something I can't even describe right now. I have this great ankle brace thing that [personal profile] lunenoire bought me a long time ago when it was acting up this bad. Usually, putting the brace on works like a charm. Not so today. I've also taken enough Lortab (also from [personal profile] lunenoire, from back when he had his surgery) to choke a goat. It's not working, although, to be fair, it hasn't been in my system long enough to. However, it is throbbing so painfully I can't sleep, so I'm here instead. Which is another bad sign. Usually if it hurts, and I stay in bed, it's fine. Not so now. Actually, I was hoping that perhaps sitting up might do the trick, but it's clearly not. *sigh* I'm not sure if it's been doing this since I went to bed or not. [personal profile] blckwngdorcl just came to bed a few minutes ago, which woke me, and now I can't get back to sleep 'cause of the pain. So, I may have been sleeping through it prior to that. Which I suppose is encouraging, since it indicates that I could at least do that at the time, since it wasn't hurting like this when I went to bed.

Anyway, even though, in the past, even narcotics have done nothing to ease the pain of this ankle when it flares up, I'm praying the Lortab works. Partially 'cause I'm not enjoying the pain, and partially 'cause my status at work right now, what with call-offs and being late and such lately isn't necessarily good. Remember when I changed my schedule, 'cause I was getting sick all the time, and the owner said I clearly needed a schedule that allowed me at least 2 days off in a row? Well, that was going well. Then, in the month of January, we had lots of staffing issues, so I foolishly volunteered to work every day they were open, for the whole month, open to close. The only exception was my Core classes. Unfortunately, my thought that I'd had enough downtime in the prior months to be able to pull something like that off was COMPLETELY wrong. I started feeling like shit again, both physically and mentally, almost immediately. This resulted in a relapse of lateness, and I ended up calling off the day after my classes, completely at the end of my rope. A co-worker offered to work the following day for me, which was great, and I was able to get some much-needed rest. I also tried very hard not to feel guilty about it. I succeeded marginally the first day, and did pretty well the second. I gave myself permission to do nothing, and that worked so well, I felt energized enough to be more productive around the house than I'd been in a long time. Figures. Anyway, I was hoping that those days off would recharge me enough to work the rest of the days I had scheduled that month. Sadly, even that didn't happen. I was late several more times. One was related to the ankle thing - I had to turn around halfway to work and come home and get the brace so I could make it through the day. It worked, although I had it on so tight, and was walking around on it such that it cut into my skin - something which is being exacerbated even as we speak, as it hasn't fully healed yet. There was even a day when the dryer did freaky shit on me. I'd put my clothes in the night before, per usual, and the next day, they weren't dry. It took another full cycle, plus some, for everything to dry. I couldn't go to work until my uniform was dry (we only have one smock apiece), so I was home indefinitely. When I finally got to work, I sat down with the manager and apologized for my performance lately, and included the fact that my belief system is such that I believe my subconscious mind affects not only my own actions, but the world around me. Basically, that I somehow caused the dryer to break so I could be late to work. Presumably to get more rest, which didn't exactly work, since I was otherwise up and ready to go to work, and I didn't go back to sleep or anything. My subconscious clearly needs better tactics. Oh... wait... *glances at ankle* Never mind...

*sigh* So, hence my being here now. Strange thing is, I finally made it to the chiropractor Wednesday, and he fixed my ankle, and it had been feeling much better. I don't want to call off work today, or be late, but I'm seriously considering going back to the chiropractor, and/or going to my regular doctor. Maybe at least take some x-rays and see what's going on. This ankle has been giving me trouble for years, and I had an x-ray taken back when I was in Illinois, which indicated arthritis, although I don't remember what kind. It was mild at the time, but I'm guessing it's gotten worse. The chiropractor says I somehow jam my tallus bone up into my leg. So, any of those things, plus perhaps something else I don't know about, plus being too fat. So, yeah.

Anyway, the pain seems to be subsiding, so I'll leave you with these quizzes, emailed from my LJ-less friend Lucy.



1. What is your middle name?
I don't have one. It used to be "Lynn".

2. What size is your bed?
King

3. What are you listening to right now?
Nothing

4. What are the last 2 digits in your phone number?
42

5. What was the last thing you ate?
Does Lortab count?

6. Last person you hugged?
[personal profile] blckwngdorcl

7. How is the weather right now?
It's 4AM, how the fuck should I know? Check the weather thingy on my profile page.

8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Ummmm... [personal profile] blckwngdorcl

9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Hair

10. Do U have a girlfriend/boyfriend?
I have a husband, and several very good friends who I periodically have sex with, but I wouldn't consider any of them a boyfriend/girlfriend.

11. How long have U been with him/her?
January 6, 2001, for the husband.

12. Do you have a crush?
Not really

13. Ever get so drunk you don't remember the entire night?
Not that bad

14. Hair color?
Recently colored a honey blonde-ish color, naturally brown with red highlight and an ever-increasing amount of gray

15. Eye color?
Hazel, but mostly green

17. Favorite holiday?
Christmas (on the years I spend it with my own family - not that I don't like my in-laws, though)

18. Favorite season?
Autumn

19. Ever cried for no reason?
Yeah, I find it frustrating and confusing

20. Last movie you watched?
In the theatre, Chronicles of Narnia... at home... I really have no idea.

21. How many mirrors are in your room?
4, I think... 1 in each bathroom, 1 on my dresser, and 1 I bought so Murke could admire himself without jumping on said dresser to do so

22. If you are white, do you know any other fall out boy songs other than "sugar we're going down"? Oooookaaaaay... what a fucked up question. I don't think I know that song. If we talking about music that's stereotypically associated with black people, I typically like the harsh gansta rap stuff, and am not so fond of the softer stuff. Typically, however, I listen to alternative rock.

23. Have you ever decapitated a barbie doll?
I used to take the heads off and on all the time - made it easier to comb their hair.

24. Do you enjoy the sensational taste of starbucks?
Yessssss... moreso now than ever, thanks to [profile] elephantankh. Anyone know when the next coffee-tasting is???

25. Does the word "horcrux" mean anything to you?
No, and it doesn't to dictionary.com, either

26. Do you have any friends of the gay preference?
Several

27. Do you think Jesus is great?
Jesus kicks ass

28. Is cheese like the best food ever, or what?
Way close to the top of the list, yeah

29. What books are you reading?
Laurell K. Hamilton's Merry Gentry series, and Codependent No More

30. Piercings?
3 in my right ear, 2 in my left ear, 1 in my tongue - all closed.

31. Favorite movie?
So hard to name just one... currently, I think Love Actually is high on the list.

32. Favorite college football team?
Well, I suppose I would have to say University of Illinois Fighting Illini(wek), since they're my alma mater.

33. What were you doing before filling this out?
Wishing I wasn't in so much pain, and writing all the shit above this. Slightly before that, sleeping.

34. Any pets?
6 cats

35. Dogs or cats?
Both. I'd have dogs, and any number of other creatures, except I don't feel like I'm at home enough to properly care for them.

36. Favorite flower?
Lilac

37. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to?
Of course

38. Have you ever loved someone?
Absolutely

39. Who would you like to see right now?
My family

40. Are you still friends with your ex?
Yeah, actually, although we haven't talked in a while

41. Have you ever fired a gun?
Yes

42. Do you like to travel by plane?
Yes

43. Right or left-handed?
Right

44. If you could be with someone right now who would it be?
Well, the fact that he's asleep notwithstanding, I suppose I already am with [personal profile] blckwngdorcl. Oh, and my chiropractor and my doctor.

45. How many pillows do you sleep with?
One

46. Are you missing someone?
Yes, my family

47. Do you have a tattoo?
I have 5. Whenever [profile] walkingbear and I get around to doing a photo shoot, I'll have him take pictures, so I can link to them like I did the cat pics.

48. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday?
No, I work Saturday mornings. Besides, last time I checked out Saturday cartoons, they sucked.

49. Are you hiding something from someone?
Mostly from myself. Anything I'm hiding from someone I typically am wishing for the guts and/or the opportune moment to share it.

50. Do you play an instrument?
Piano, but not for years.

*******************************

You can only say yes or no.

**You can't explain anything.**


1. Licked someone's foot? Yes

2. Painted your room? No

3. Kissed a member of the same sex? Yes

4. Driven a car? Yes

5. Danced in front of your mirror? Yes

6. Had a crush? Yes

7. Been dumped? Yes

8. Stole money from a friend? No

9. Gotten in a car with people you just met? Yes

10. Been in a fist fight? No

11. Snuck out of your house? Yes

12. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? Yes

13. Been arrested? No

14. Made out with a stranger? Yes

15. Met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? Yes

16. Have you ever peed in the shower? Yes

17. Had a crush on your neighor? Yes

18. Ditched school to do something more fun? Yes

19. Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? Yes

20. Seen someone die? Yes?

21. Been on a plane? Yes

22. Kissed a picture/poster? Yes

23. Slept in until 3? Yes

24. Miss someone right now? Yes

25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? Yes

26. Made a snow angel? Yes

27. Played dress up? Yes

28. Cheated while playing a game? No

29. Been lonely? Yes

30. Fallen asleep at work/school? No/Yes

31. Been to a club? Yes

32. Felt an earthquake? No

33. Touched a snake? Yes

34. Ran a red light? Yes

35. Been beaten up BADLY? No

36. Had detention? No

37. Been in a car accident? Yes

38. Hated the way you look? Yes

39. Witnessed a crime? Yes

40. Ever had sexual relations with the same sex (other than kissing)? Yes

41. Been lost? Yes

42. Been to the opposite side of the country? No

41. Felt like you want to die? Yes

44. Cried yourself to sleep? Yes

46. Sang karaoke? Yes

47. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes

48. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Yes?

49. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes

50. Made out at a dance? Yes

51. Sang in the shower? Yes

52. Made out in a movie theater? Yes

53. Had a dream that you married someone? No?

54. Glued your hand to something? No

55. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? No?

57. Been a cheerleader? No

59. Didn't take a shower for a week? No

60. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? No

61. Kissed in the rain? Yes?

62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? No

63. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? Yes

64. Broken a bone? No

65. Been easily amused? Yes

66. Laugh so hard you pee'd your pants? Yes

67. Stolen something? No

68. Cheated on a test? Yes

69. Forgotten someone's name? Yes

73. Passed out from drinking? No?

74. Played a prank on someone? Yes

75. Gone to a late night movie? Yes

76. Made out to anything not human? No

77. Failed a class? Yes

78. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat? Yes :)

79. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours? No

81. Told someone you weren't related to you loved them and meant it? Yes

82. Been cheated on? No

83. Felt like killing someone? Yes

84. Felt like running away? Yes

85. Ran away? Yes

86. Did drugs? Yes

87. Had detention and not attend it? No

89. Made a parent cry? Yes :(

90. Cried over someone? Yes

91. Owned more than 5 Sharpies? Yes

92. Dated someone more than once? Yes

93. Had/Have a dog? Yes/No

95. Own an instrument? Yes

96. Been in a band? Yes

97. Drank 25 sodas in a day? No

98. Broken a CD? Yes

99. Shot a gun? Yes

100. Had feelings for one of your best/good friends? Yes



Oh, shit, do I feel fucked up now. The ankle pain is coming and going, and I'm totally sweating and somewhat nauseous from the Lortab. In my desperation for the pain to stop, I forgot about that no-narcotics-on-an-empty-stomach rule. Gah. I need to call work, and I need to go to the doctor today.
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