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I haven't been keeping up on LJ lately, so I don't know what's going on in the world out there. I may look today, I may not.
I've taken another job. It was such a sweet deal I couldn't resist. A 30 minutes (tops, and that's only if we get to chatting) visit to change a dressing, daily, for which I get $40. Not a bad deal. So, I've been going to David's in the morning per usual, doing the office thing, dropping him off back at home after work, driving to the new client's, changing her dressing, driving back to David's, preparing for the night, raiding their fridge for dinner, and then doing the usual night routine. It means I don't go home Monday-Thursday, which kinda sucks, but I haven't been feeling too bad about it. Eagerly awaiting my first paycheck, because I didn't realize how much the downside of this gig would affect me - I'm using WAAAAAY more gas than usual, 'cause this lady's up near Woodstock/Canton, kinda near where![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chalice66 used to live. Right now, I'm hoping my check will come in the mail today, or else I'm going to have to raid my pennies.
There are a lot of things emotionally going on in my life, lots of changes that are beginning to blossom; none of which I really feel comfortable writing about here, but spent a long time last night on my secret journal talking about some of it. Scary, life-changing stuff, which, thankfully, is coming about a bit less catastrophically than my codependent meltdown several months ago. Which, on the downside, means it's going much more slowly, and with much more doubt on my part, but overall, it feels very right to me. I feel like the sludge in my life is starting to break free and break off in thick languid chunks, and flow down the mountainside, and I have a sense of momentum building. I also have a sense that it's going to flow so naturally that I'll look back and be amazed at how quick and relatively effortless it all was. Not, of course, that this should keep me from working at it. Hindsight is always kinder than being in the moment.
On the hair front, I'm still struggling a bit. I think I'm too vain to pull this off. The whole bit where my hair feels greasy to me is pretty unacceptable. One of my great pleasures in life is running my fingers through my hair, and revelling in the texture of it. If the texture is unpleasant to me, it's not a good thing. Of course, I figure it's also unpleasant to others, and I happen to love having my hair played with. Not to mention the fact that, using the Curly Girl method, one isn't supposed to touch their hair at all after it's been styled. Unacceptable. So, I washed my hair well yesterday, with the 'poo-less shampoo we have, and it once again feels like silk, and certainly moreso than it did before I started this whole thing. I fully intend to make this work. I have asked around some of the message boards, and have been told in no uncertain terms that the baking soda wash and vinegar rinse doesn't cut it for curly hair, as far as giving it the moisture it needs, so can't really go that route, although seems the easiest. Might end up washing ti every other day, and doing a deep conditioning with some of the Lotions and Potions recipes in the book - need to buy ingredients. I definitely want to have my cake and eat it too on this one, and I don't mind a few pitfalls on the way. No reason I can't make this work.
I started the level 2 animal communication last Monday. This time, I'm taking an 8-week teleclass, rather than travelling to Illinois for a couple of days. Takes longer, but I think I'm sorta liking it better this way. Certainly, there's a lot more time to practice and such. Still, though, when I try to connect with an animal, I feel blocked, and like I'm talking to myself. It's hard to explain, but it feels different when I actually connect, and I fade in and out of that. This is why,
Lupaloo and 
ErosIssa, I haven't gotten back to you on your animals. (Although I did get a few tidbits trying to connect with Myka the other day... ) I think I'll be able to work through it, and that this is part of the sludge breaking free that I was talking about earlier.
I'm still reading Atlas Shrugged, moving through it slowly. I've taken to taking it with me to David's and reading it during my nightly downtime. It's starting to get into things that are interesting to me, and the reason
GaeasSon gifted me with it.
Looks like
BabyIrishCub will be getting Romero back in a week. The plan is to drive him up next weekend. We'll both miss him horribly. I had the lady I took the level 1 class from communicate with him, and, while his primary goal is to be able to be an outdoor cat, he does have a very strong connection to BabyIrishCub, and making sure he gets back to him is the right thing to do. I've asked, of course, to be considered if something happens in the future, as a foster or permanent home. When we move to Illinois, one of the criteria I have is that we live somewhere my cats can be outdoors if they want to be. Anyway, a mixed blessing with that.
A relationship with a long-time online friend/lover has grown even stronger over the past several days, and I'm in eros with him all over again, for the umpteenth time. I feel beautiful and sensual, and altogether calmer. I can't tell if this is a grounded thing, or a head-in-the-clouds thing, but either way, it feels wonderful, and it's spilling out most pleasantly into my real-life world. I've asked
BlckwngdOrcl to remind me of this when he starts dating again. While he's confirmed that I had nothing to do with his backing off dating for a while, I know I didn't make it easy for him. I want to remember this feeling, so that I remember what exactly it is that I'm making difficult for him. This is a wonderful, and good feeling to have, and certainly not something that I want to keep from the person I love most in the world. And he's certainly been extremely supportive of my feelings and actions in this matter, and that's a good feeling, too - one that I want him to experience when the tables have turned. This, also, feels like something that's moving forward in my life; things that don't serve me, and that I don't want in my life feel like they're being released.
Anyway, it's a slow process, and contrary to what it might look like as I write it here, certainly not withouth its backslides, bad days, and doubts. But the energy of everything seems to have shifted, and that can only be a good thing.
That's enough for now.
I've taken another job. It was such a sweet deal I couldn't resist. A 30 minutes (tops, and that's only if we get to chatting) visit to change a dressing, daily, for which I get $40. Not a bad deal. So, I've been going to David's in the morning per usual, doing the office thing, dropping him off back at home after work, driving to the new client's, changing her dressing, driving back to David's, preparing for the night, raiding their fridge for dinner, and then doing the usual night routine. It means I don't go home Monday-Thursday, which kinda sucks, but I haven't been feeling too bad about it. Eagerly awaiting my first paycheck, because I didn't realize how much the downside of this gig would affect me - I'm using WAAAAAY more gas than usual, 'cause this lady's up near Woodstock/Canton, kinda near where
chalice66 used to live. Right now, I'm hoping my check will come in the mail today, or else I'm going to have to raid my pennies.There are a lot of things emotionally going on in my life, lots of changes that are beginning to blossom; none of which I really feel comfortable writing about here, but spent a long time last night on my secret journal talking about some of it. Scary, life-changing stuff, which, thankfully, is coming about a bit less catastrophically than my codependent meltdown several months ago. Which, on the downside, means it's going much more slowly, and with much more doubt on my part, but overall, it feels very right to me. I feel like the sludge in my life is starting to break free and break off in thick languid chunks, and flow down the mountainside, and I have a sense of momentum building. I also have a sense that it's going to flow so naturally that I'll look back and be amazed at how quick and relatively effortless it all was. Not, of course, that this should keep me from working at it. Hindsight is always kinder than being in the moment.
On the hair front, I'm still struggling a bit. I think I'm too vain to pull this off. The whole bit where my hair feels greasy to me is pretty unacceptable. One of my great pleasures in life is running my fingers through my hair, and revelling in the texture of it. If the texture is unpleasant to me, it's not a good thing. Of course, I figure it's also unpleasant to others, and I happen to love having my hair played with. Not to mention the fact that, using the Curly Girl method, one isn't supposed to touch their hair at all after it's been styled. Unacceptable. So, I washed my hair well yesterday, with the 'poo-less shampoo we have, and it once again feels like silk, and certainly moreso than it did before I started this whole thing. I fully intend to make this work. I have asked around some of the message boards, and have been told in no uncertain terms that the baking soda wash and vinegar rinse doesn't cut it for curly hair, as far as giving it the moisture it needs, so can't really go that route, although seems the easiest. Might end up washing ti every other day, and doing a deep conditioning with some of the Lotions and Potions recipes in the book - need to buy ingredients. I definitely want to have my cake and eat it too on this one, and I don't mind a few pitfalls on the way. No reason I can't make this work.
I started the level 2 animal communication last Monday. This time, I'm taking an 8-week teleclass, rather than travelling to Illinois for a couple of days. Takes longer, but I think I'm sorta liking it better this way. Certainly, there's a lot more time to practice and such. Still, though, when I try to connect with an animal, I feel blocked, and like I'm talking to myself. It's hard to explain, but it feels different when I actually connect, and I fade in and out of that. This is why,
Lupaloo and ErosIssa, I haven't gotten back to you on your animals. (Although I did get a few tidbits trying to connect with Myka the other day... ) I think I'll be able to work through it, and that this is part of the sludge breaking free that I was talking about earlier.I'm still reading Atlas Shrugged, moving through it slowly. I've taken to taking it with me to David's and reading it during my nightly downtime. It's starting to get into things that are interesting to me, and the reason
GaeasSon gifted me with it. Looks like
BabyIrishCub will be getting Romero back in a week. The plan is to drive him up next weekend. We'll both miss him horribly. I had the lady I took the level 1 class from communicate with him, and, while his primary goal is to be able to be an outdoor cat, he does have a very strong connection to BabyIrishCub, and making sure he gets back to him is the right thing to do. I've asked, of course, to be considered if something happens in the future, as a foster or permanent home. When we move to Illinois, one of the criteria I have is that we live somewhere my cats can be outdoors if they want to be. Anyway, a mixed blessing with that.A relationship with a long-time online friend/lover has grown even stronger over the past several days, and I'm in eros with him all over again, for the umpteenth time. I feel beautiful and sensual, and altogether calmer. I can't tell if this is a grounded thing, or a head-in-the-clouds thing, but either way, it feels wonderful, and it's spilling out most pleasantly into my real-life world. I've asked
BlckwngdOrcl to remind me of this when he starts dating again. While he's confirmed that I had nothing to do with his backing off dating for a while, I know I didn't make it easy for him. I want to remember this feeling, so that I remember what exactly it is that I'm making difficult for him. This is a wonderful, and good feeling to have, and certainly not something that I want to keep from the person I love most in the world. And he's certainly been extremely supportive of my feelings and actions in this matter, and that's a good feeling, too - one that I want him to experience when the tables have turned. This, also, feels like something that's moving forward in my life; things that don't serve me, and that I don't want in my life feel like they're being released.Anyway, it's a slow process, and contrary to what it might look like as I write it here, certainly not withouth its backslides, bad days, and doubts. But the energy of everything seems to have shifted, and that can only be a good thing.
That's enough for now.
