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Update, Such As It Is
Nov. 12th, 2006 02:17 pmOK, a few things, just since I'm caught up.
The happy energetic feeling I had for quite a while seems to have passed, and I'm back to being tired and apathetic. I'm sure a great deal of this is due to the fact that David's 5-day sojourn at the lake house left me with 5 days in a row completely off of work - during which time I slept all I wanted, got shit done around the house, felt fabulous, accomplished, and enjoyed a honeymoon-like period with my husband. Now, I'm back to working ridiculous hours again, and feeling blah, useless, tired, etc.. And, as usual, trying mostly unsuccessfully not to feel guilty about days like yesterday, where I feel like I didn't accomplish anything. This is a somewhat unrealistic feeling, because what I did get done was: catch up a huge backup in LJ, and also caught up email and webcomics; changed litterboxes; filled food/water; cleaned the kitchen, including dishes; cooked dinner; made the bed; tiny little pick-up things around the house. As a list, it looks fairly impressive and like I got something done, but I don't feel that way.
Also, yesterday was the private![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
frolicon party that I was supposed to go to with 
WalkingBear, which I'd been looking forward to for quite some time, 'cause I wanted to get in on that community. It was also, more importantly, 
ToguSpyder's birthday party. But, due to my general apathy, and my worries about taking the night off and losing that money (also, Kathleen is sick, so her covering for me wouldn't have worked well for her), I didn't do either. Which, of course, continues my downward spiral of feeling like a slug, and feeling like I've let my friends down. Insert ridiculous mental loop here. At any rate, I hope a good time was had by all in both cases.
I've got some things going on my head, none of which I'm in the mood to ponder on. Mostly money issues and body issues. Loved
Isarma's post on the subject. Much to ponder. There will likely be posts on money/prosperity issues coming soon (they were an assignment), but they'll likely be over in core_energetics, since that's what prompted my most recent thoughts (and that's where the assignment part comes).
So, today, I'll likely do more of the same - "lazy" activities which are actually useful to me (watching DVR'd stuff so I can clear off that hard drive) interspersed with less lazy activities which are also useful (more kitchen-y cooking/cleaning stuff, vacuuming, minor cleaning, etc.).
Just as a note, there are definitely things that are looking up, although they put us in a bind for a short time period. (No details without the Beastie's permission - it's really his thing.) So, it's certainly not a horrible time in my life. Lots of opportunities, which I seem to be fighting, but they're there. I just need to learn to accept, and go with the flow, and not live so much in fear.
Anyway, not really much of an update, but that's pretty much where I'm at.
The happy energetic feeling I had for quite a while seems to have passed, and I'm back to being tired and apathetic. I'm sure a great deal of this is due to the fact that David's 5-day sojourn at the lake house left me with 5 days in a row completely off of work - during which time I slept all I wanted, got shit done around the house, felt fabulous, accomplished, and enjoyed a honeymoon-like period with my husband. Now, I'm back to working ridiculous hours again, and feeling blah, useless, tired, etc.. And, as usual, trying mostly unsuccessfully not to feel guilty about days like yesterday, where I feel like I didn't accomplish anything. This is a somewhat unrealistic feeling, because what I did get done was: catch up a huge backup in LJ, and also caught up email and webcomics; changed litterboxes; filled food/water; cleaned the kitchen, including dishes; cooked dinner; made the bed; tiny little pick-up things around the house. As a list, it looks fairly impressive and like I got something done, but I don't feel that way.
Also, yesterday was the private
frolicon party that I was supposed to go to with WalkingBear, which I'd been looking forward to for quite some time, 'cause I wanted to get in on that community. It was also, more importantly, ToguSpyder's birthday party. But, due to my general apathy, and my worries about taking the night off and losing that money (also, Kathleen is sick, so her covering for me wouldn't have worked well for her), I didn't do either. Which, of course, continues my downward spiral of feeling like a slug, and feeling like I've let my friends down. Insert ridiculous mental loop here. At any rate, I hope a good time was had by all in both cases.I've got some things going on my head, none of which I'm in the mood to ponder on. Mostly money issues and body issues. Loved
Isarma's post on the subject. Much to ponder. There will likely be posts on money/prosperity issues coming soon (they were an assignment), but they'll likely be over in core_energetics, since that's what prompted my most recent thoughts (and that's where the assignment part comes).So, today, I'll likely do more of the same - "lazy" activities which are actually useful to me (watching DVR'd stuff so I can clear off that hard drive) interspersed with less lazy activities which are also useful (more kitchen-y cooking/cleaning stuff, vacuuming, minor cleaning, etc.).
Just as a note, there are definitely things that are looking up, although they put us in a bind for a short time period. (No details without the Beastie's permission - it's really his thing.) So, it's certainly not a horrible time in my life. Lots of opportunities, which I seem to be fighting, but they're there. I just need to learn to accept, and go with the flow, and not live so much in fear.
Anyway, not really much of an update, but that's pretty much where I'm at.
