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Feb. 24th, 2006
My grandfather (the last of my grandparents) died tonight. It was more or less expected. He'd beaten cancer several times, including a surgery to remove colon cancer a week or so ago. He survived that, too, at age 97, and then finally succombed to kidney failure, which had kinda been coming on for a while. He was sharp as a tack at 97, and enjoyed flirting with the nurses who gave him his (usually monthly) blood transfusions.
He died pretty quietly, really, after some tough times. At that point, he'd had enough morphine that he wasn't in pain, and he slipped pretty quickly from coma to death.
I'd been feeling since about a year after my grandmother died that he was ready to move on, but he kept fighting, as evidenced by choosing to have a potentially fatal surgery to get rid of his most current bout of cancer. I'm not sure if that means I'm full of shit, or he was just being cantankerous. Anyway, being "prepared" for him to die for years now, and being an advocate of whatever soul purpose he had in living, dying, or anything in between, never, of course, really prepares you for when it happens. I'll miss him a great deal, and I worry about the effect of his death on my family, especially my father.
Anyway, obviously this means I'll be gone for several days, up to Indiana, land of no internet access to speak of. If you are the energy-sending type, please help me stay safe on my drive up there. I don't want to fly, for some reason, and my parents aren't really fond of my husband lately, for precisely the issues that have been discussed recently here. I hate not having him with me, but, in the end, wanting him there is purely selfish. He'd be uncomfortable, and, most importantly, my family would be. They don't need that right now. Also, to my family, for strength - not the stiff upper lip kind of strength, but the truth and peace in one's self kind.
Until then.
He died pretty quietly, really, after some tough times. At that point, he'd had enough morphine that he wasn't in pain, and he slipped pretty quickly from coma to death.
I'd been feeling since about a year after my grandmother died that he was ready to move on, but he kept fighting, as evidenced by choosing to have a potentially fatal surgery to get rid of his most current bout of cancer. I'm not sure if that means I'm full of shit, or he was just being cantankerous. Anyway, being "prepared" for him to die for years now, and being an advocate of whatever soul purpose he had in living, dying, or anything in between, never, of course, really prepares you for when it happens. I'll miss him a great deal, and I worry about the effect of his death on my family, especially my father.
Anyway, obviously this means I'll be gone for several days, up to Indiana, land of no internet access to speak of. If you are the energy-sending type, please help me stay safe on my drive up there. I don't want to fly, for some reason, and my parents aren't really fond of my husband lately, for precisely the issues that have been discussed recently here. I hate not having him with me, but, in the end, wanting him there is purely selfish. He'd be uncomfortable, and, most importantly, my family would be. They don't need that right now. Also, to my family, for strength - not the stiff upper lip kind of strength, but the truth and peace in one's self kind.
Until then.
