bookofmirrors | From elorie

1) If you could go back to some age or other...say, eighteen...knowing what you know now, would you?

Hmmmm... I've often wondered this one myself. I'm a firm believer that the choices I've made and the experiences I've had up to this point have shaped the person I've become. And yeah, there could be a lot of improvements in me, but who *can't* make that assertion? Looking back at age 18, I was a senior in high school, and then just starting college. With the caveat that this is only marginally true when applied to any instant in one's lifetime, the only things that I can think of that was a huge deal back then at that age were two things: I lost my virginity, and I made the decision to go to college and major in psychology. Nothing else was really much of a life-changing thing, that I recall. I certainly wouldn't change the college thing. The virginity thing? Probably not. It was pretty much how I had hoped it would be in many ways, and I did care deeply about the person I lost it to. So, seeing as how there was no major life event at that age that I would have wanted to change, I would have to say no. (For the record, even though there are some things I'd like to have done differently at other ages, I think I'd still lean towards no as the answer to this question, simply because of what I said at the beginning. I'd be a different person, and... strange as it seems to "hear" myself say it, I'm pretty happy with the person I am right now, and I'm happy with the changes I'm making, and thinking about making - for the most part.)

2) What if you could just send back a message?

That, I think, would be my choice. Because of exactly that word - CHOICE. If I sent back a message, then my 18-year-old self would have a choice whether or not to heed the message. I'd like to think that I'd pay special attention to a message from a future version of myself at any age. If I had a message to give myself, I think it would be a nebulous one. Not something like "Don't take that right turn at Albequerque", or "Don't date this guy", or "Don't put down that answer on the test"... but something broader. Something like "Have courage", or "Your own instincts and thoughts and feelings are infinitely more important than what you're being pressured to do by society, your parents, and other outside forces". "Follow your heart". That would be a good message. But I'd have to put it in such a way as to give myself some concrete ideas for doing so. It's a message I tell myself (and anyone who will listen) now, and STILL have a hard time heeding. Maybe if I had started giving myself that message earlier, it'd be easier (or at least more familiar) now.

3) What if you could go back in time, but not during your own lifetime? What time would you pick?

I have to pick just one? Well, assuming I could go there and come back to this lifetime with that knowledge, I'd like to go back to the time of Jesus, and hang out with him. Find out what he REALLY taught, and not what the Church (capital C meant as an insult, not a measure of respect) is teaching now. In general, I'd love to go back to any time with a great figure like that, and learn at his/her knee.

4) Aardvarks or platypi?

Platypi! Much cuter and cuddlier.

5) What are you planning to do after you die, anyway?

In spite of my statement last night about the potential for not giving a fuck about the living world once a person dies, I think I would like to spend some time hanging out with people I love. Helping them out, giving them messages, and tormenting them for fun. Pretty much what I do now, with more cosmic oomph. After that... not sure. A vacation, at least. And then? Who knows? I'd like to dance in heaven and hell, and to know that the difference between the two isn't as great as we think it is.

Or something like that.