bookofmirrors | 6 Cats, 9 Lives

Neg:

Former Incarnation: Christopher Columbus

Aliases: Windy, Homer, Vasco, Bosco, Griffy, The Wanderer, Sailor, Soldier, Trek

Description: Subject has been clinically diagnosed with wanderlust. Do not let this cat out of sight, or it is guaranteed to disappear for extended periods. Subject on occassion has been sighted up to five miles from home. Can be lured back with food or shiny coins, but loyalty is short-lived. If kept in cramped space for too long, this cat will go crazy. Naps infrequently and dreams of former life as deckhand on Tahitian schooner. Subject can read maps, but hides this skill from owners for fear of punishment. Prefers traveling alone, unless joined by fellow explorers. Is not very social, unless recounting adventures to eager listeners or planning its next escape from domestic imprisonment. Is good for a snuggle, but only when exhausted at the end of the day. May search for buried treasure in garbage sites. Meows in foreign languages. Probably owns ragged-ear copy of Robinson Catsoe.

Loki:

Former Incarnation: Winnie the Pooh

Aliases: Snooky, Poohsticks, Woozel, Droopy, Munchie, Snugglebuns, Shoo-shoo, Furball

Description: Subject can be identified by its vulnerable and cuddly nature. Subject can generally be found on a lap or in any location that promises snuggling and adoration. When it cannot find a human heating pad to sleep on, it can be spotted sprawled out in awarm, sunny spot. Subject can be needy and demanding. Subject is a member of the new twelve step program, Codependent Cats (CC). It is loyal and will most likely add a light layer of fur to all of your clothes. Has a knack for knitting, kneading, and baking blueberry pies. Meows frequently and happily, and may be caught singing silly songs to itself. Prefers light reading and children's books. Dreams of moving to an amusement park.

Whimsy:

Former Incarnation: Audrey Hepburn

Aliases: Princess, Jewels, Cutsie, Poopsie, Precious, Little Boots, Minnie, Boo-Boo

Description: Subject has uncanny sense for luxury, and has been known to act in a snobbish or pretentious manner. Is demanding. Is often seen with other cats of the same status group, perhaps wearing expensive collars. Is convinced that it deserves a high standard of living. Not dangerous, although can get carried away during playtime. Naps lightly. Bats daintily. Subject can be easily persuaded with gourmet food and expensive toys. Often is good for a cuddle or a hug,this cat makes a fine companion. Tends to meow in a refined kitty accent that may sound comical to other, less polished cats. In spare time, often reads cat fashion magazines, such as This Kitty, Cat Health, and Cat and Country".

Smithers:

Former Incarnation: Marilyn Monroe

Aliases: Sweetness, Moofie, Sultress, Temptress, Sly, Purry, Lola, Gilda, Eva, Zsa Zsa, Cupcake

Description: Subject is known for powers of seduction, andshould be treated with caution and respect. Often shows signs of absentmindedness, and has been known to forget own name. In such cases, subject will answer only to the following salutation "Hey, airhead!" Uses cuddliness as a weapon to earn greater affection, more food or toys.Naps periodically, and dreams of becoming a Hollywood cat star. Outside presence of its owner, subject has been known to talkabout "My Sugar Daddy." Fraternizes with cats from the other side ofthe track. May pursue promiscuous relations unless kept isolated. Meows in a low, husky tone. Reads cat entertainment magazines, such as CatWorld, Showtime Cats, and Stars and Cats.

Murke:

Former Incarnation: Jabba the Hut

Aliases: Fatso, Lardass, Bluto, The Fridge, Tubby, Blob, Garfield, Chubmeister, Lazybones, Weasy

Description: Subject is totally lazy. Will eat anything insight, as long as doing so does not require a great deal of movement. Subject has predilection for soft and comfortable lounging places, preferably in the sunshine. During obligatory movement, may exhibit lateral wobbling motion or tendency to waddle. To avoid injury, do notstand in its way while subject is running. Eyes tend to be a bit dull and unfocused, unless the subject of conversation is food or rest. In such cases, a peculiar focus dominates the gaze. Is not a great conversationalist, although has been known to talk for hours with friends about culinary discoveries found in the trash. Most people confuse this cat's frequent burps for meows. Prefers television to reading. Dreams of training a mouse to become its butler.

Ashira:

Former Incarnation: James Dean

Aliases: Coolio, Slick, Dude, Studmuffin, Kitty cool, The Cat, Winkster, Tail, Strutter, Ice, Hipster

Description: Subject has been known to act in a brooding or pensive manner. Often seen alone or hanging out with a rough crowd. Subject may be dangerous if provoked into embarrassing situations such as chasing yarn balls, or having to be too cute. Although good for a cuddle every once in a while, this cat is basically a loner. Naps occasionally. Values independence and freedom at all costs. Has been known to pursue a romance on occasion, but mostly prefers to remain unattached. May have a nasty catnip habit. Mumbles its meows. Tends to read existential cat literature, such as Catness and Being, The Cat as Will and Representation, etc.

Well, there ya have it folks! I'm living with a houseful of celebrities! :)