I Had a Good Subject Line, Honest....
Mar. 30th, 2005 11:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bookofmirrorsDon't know where it went, though...
Oh, wait, I remember!!!
No... no, that wasn't it...
Dammit...
Well, anyway...
The past few days have been trying, not in a terrible-things-have-happened sense, but in a damn-is-my-plate-full sense. And not just the work thing. That's a given. But the stuff going on with various people and various dynamics has left me feeling even more disconnected than usual. After much frustration yesterday, I was able to connect a bit more with myself. I know I'm not there yet, but at least I don't feel so ...numb.
At any rate, class starts tomorrow, so I have 5 days of upcoming Core goodness. Connection is imminent. :) We'll be discussing the Rigid Structure. Don't ask me what that means. I still haven't purchased the books I'm supposed to be reading, and I don't recall having heard much about that structure before. My guess is that OCD would be likely in this structure, but really, I'm just talking out my ass. I'll know by Monday, though. Maybe I'll even tell you. But not in this LJ. ;)
Anyway, I'm including the lyrics to two songs that tend to calm me down instantly. I don't know why, the words certainly aren't soothing. One's depressing as hell, really, and the other is beautiful poetry, but not necessarily anything I would usually find particularly inspiring. At any rate, I like 'em, and being in a fucked-up headspace will sometimes cause me to play them over and over and over and over and over... again in the car while I drive. Like for an hour. But I always feel better.
(Both Pantera, and yes, the second one is a remake of the old Black Sabbath tune.)
Cheap cocaine, a dry inhale, the pills that kill and take the pain away
Diet of life, shelter without, the face that cannot see inside yours and mine
When I'm hiding, when I need it, it lets me breathe,
For our handle on this life, I don't believe
This time
Would you look at me now?
Can you tell I'm a man?
With these scars on my wrists
To prove I'll try again
Try to die again, try to live through this night
Try to die again.....
Forever fooling, free and using, sliding down the slide that breaks a will
Mother's angel, getting smarter, how smart are you to regress unfulfilled?
It's a damn shame,
But who's to blame?
We sail through endless skies
Stars shine like eyes
The black night sighs
The moon in silver trees
Falls down in tears
Light of the night
The earth, a purple blaze
Of sapphire haze
In orbit always
While down below the trees
Bathed in cool breeze
Silver starlight breaks down the night
And so we pass on by the crimson eye
Of great God mars
As we travel the universe
And now, I can't decide if I want to (figuratively) get out the popcorn and revel in the latest drama (that DOESN'T involve me!), or go the fuck to bed.
I'll head upstairs. Smithers says it's bedtime.
Oh, wait, I remember!!!
No... no, that wasn't it...
Dammit...
Well, anyway...
The past few days have been trying, not in a terrible-things-have-happened sense, but in a damn-is-my-plate-full sense. And not just the work thing. That's a given. But the stuff going on with various people and various dynamics has left me feeling even more disconnected than usual. After much frustration yesterday, I was able to connect a bit more with myself. I know I'm not there yet, but at least I don't feel so ...numb.
At any rate, class starts tomorrow, so I have 5 days of upcoming Core goodness. Connection is imminent. :) We'll be discussing the Rigid Structure. Don't ask me what that means. I still haven't purchased the books I'm supposed to be reading, and I don't recall having heard much about that structure before. My guess is that OCD would be likely in this structure, but really, I'm just talking out my ass. I'll know by Monday, though. Maybe I'll even tell you. But not in this LJ. ;)
Anyway, I'm including the lyrics to two songs that tend to calm me down instantly. I don't know why, the words certainly aren't soothing. One's depressing as hell, really, and the other is beautiful poetry, but not necessarily anything I would usually find particularly inspiring. At any rate, I like 'em, and being in a fucked-up headspace will sometimes cause me to play them over and over and over and over and over... again in the car while I drive. Like for an hour. But I always feel better.
(Both Pantera, and yes, the second one is a remake of the old Black Sabbath tune.)
Cheap cocaine, a dry inhale, the pills that kill and take the pain away
Diet of life, shelter without, the face that cannot see inside yours and mine
When I'm hiding, when I need it, it lets me breathe,
For our handle on this life, I don't believe
This time
Would you look at me now?
Can you tell I'm a man?
With these scars on my wrists
To prove I'll try again
Try to die again, try to live through this night
Try to die again.....
Forever fooling, free and using, sliding down the slide that breaks a will
Mother's angel, getting smarter, how smart are you to regress unfulfilled?
It's a damn shame,
But who's to blame?
We sail through endless skies
Stars shine like eyes
The black night sighs
The moon in silver trees
Falls down in tears
Light of the night
The earth, a purple blaze
Of sapphire haze
In orbit always
While down below the trees
Bathed in cool breeze
Silver starlight breaks down the night
And so we pass on by the crimson eye
Of great God mars
As we travel the universe
And now, I can't decide if I want to (figuratively) get out the popcorn and revel in the latest drama (that DOESN'T involve me!), or go the fuck to bed.
I'll head upstairs. Smithers says it's bedtime.
