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bookofmirrorsI've been having extremely detailed and vivid dreams lately. Like every night. I don't write all of them down, but I probably should start. I'll try to write down the snippets I remember of the past couple, though...
I remember a few bits from last night's dream. First of all, my parents and I were visiting in the house of the wife of one of my clients. Nice house, a bit fancy, (although nothing like her actual house), as my parent's friends' houses tend to be. I remember at one point, some issue had come up, and I was sitting there, in sort of a triple hug with my parents, and they were wanting to know what was wrong. Basically, wanting me to spill my guts about every little issue I've ever had with them, with my childhood, everything. I can't recall the feeling itself, but I know this happened about 3 times, and there was a distinct physical feeling that accompanied it each time. Not so much an internal feeling, that I recall, but more like remembering the position we sat in, the feeling of their arms around me, which felt more like straps than arms, really. By which I don't meant that I felt trapped, that I recall... but by which I mean that the sensation of the arms holding me felt more even and symmetrical than arms are. I remember struggling with trying to tell them. I remember wanting to, and being afraid to. I remember being so close. So fucking close. Wanting them to ask me one more time, reassurance that it would be safe to hurt them with my angst... but it never came, and we both walked away unsatisfied.
I remember the next day, after having spent the night in that house, getting up earlier than anyone else in the house (very typical of my childhood, mind you) and going outside to sit on a low brick wall which enclosed some pretty landscaping. Just looking around and thinking/not thinking, and enjoying the morning. There was a point when I blinked, or something shifted... but the landscape changed. Instead of being in typical suburbia, everything suddenly felt, and mostly looked, blank. Instead of being able to see the rest of the subdivision through the trees across from me, I saw barren hills of red clay. The houses and yards that remained around me became stark, without the trees and flowers that had originally decorated those yards. The people in the house had changed; I knew this instinctively. It was confirmed when an middle-aged to elderly black man (my client's wife wasn't black) opened the door. Even though I didn't know him, though, he seemed to not be surprised by my presence. It was as if, in his world, things had happened just the same as in the world I'd apparently just left. I'd spent the night in his house, and he knew me, even if I didn't know him. He invited me in for breakfast. That portion becomes blurry. I vaguely recall some sort of breakfast scene, and I think it mirrored an actual scene in my childhood, where my aunt was there, and she had made a snide comment about the doughnut I chose from the box.
The other scene I remember from the dream was a warehouse. Apparently, I was going to college, and this warehouse was on the campus. Now, either I went there several times in this dream, of I've gone there often in other dreams that I don't recall. It had that kind of familiarity, that kind of repetitive feeling to it. I remember walking through it twice in this dream. The first time, I entered through one door, found the place empty, and pretty much walked straight to a different door kinda caddycorner from the first one. For some reason, there were stairs out of the door I left from. As I was getting to the exit, an older guy with white hair and a beard came in with one of those ...can't remember what they're called... those forklift things that you run by hand... anyway, one of those full of stuff. He smiled at me as I was leaving, sort of a bemused, "I've caught you, but I'm a nice guy, so I won't say anything" look. Almost conspiratorial.
The fact is, being in the warehouse wasn't exactly forbidden. There was no specific rule against it. But it was definitely frowned upon. I knew that I'd been there before, had a memory of it, because the reason I kept going in was that I'd been there so many times, and it was different each time. Sometimes full of interesting things, sometimes empty like this time. Always a new and interesting discovery, overlooked by most.
I went in again a different day. Same thing - empty, and ran into the guy again as I was leaving. I think he spoke to me briefly, asking about my fascination with the place, and I left through the same door I had before. This time, going up the stairs, I ran into a little demon-like creature. About 3 feet tall, scaly, with yellow eyes. I wasn't afraid of him, although I noted his appearance. He spoke to me, and I to him, although I don't recall what was said. I remember the guy with the hand truck (that's what they're called!) coming over and trying to get my attention. I was a bit annoyed at his interrupting, but I eventually turned to him. He said that he had needed to get my attention 'cause I was being mesmerized by the demon-creature. I wasn't 100% sure he was right, but there was a very subtle shift in my perception when I turned away from the creature to acknowledge him. When I turned back, the creature was gone.
I ended up, at that point, going back into the warehouse. I think there was someone with me. We might have even been making out. We were sitting in something like bleachers, but not quite that sturdy, kinda high up on a slant. I remember looking over and seeing two gray cats mating, sort of an on-again-off-again mating/fighting. I'd never seen cats mating before, and I rather enjoy watching sex in general, so I was trying to watch, around my partner, who was holding me. I remember distinctly the uncomfortable sensation of it. Because of the position I was in, facing the cats, but with him in front of me, his arms around me, I had to twist a bit out of his embrace to see. Doing this put me in a more precarious position that set off my fear of heights, and all the accompanying sensations. Added to that was a mix of lust from watching the cats, especially as other cats joined them, and they had some sort of cat orgy going on, all of them gray. It was a disturbing sensation, even though I tried to ride it out.
The warehouse was then suddenly full of people. Almost like a rave or something had started, but there was no music. My purse, which I'd had no thought of before, was down on the floor to the right of where I was sitting. Except that where I was sitting was the farthest right I could be on the bleachers (which were more like traditional bleachers by now), so my purse was actually quite a ways below me, out of reach. Which had been fine when the warehouse was empty. While I was noting this, I saw Rob (Raaaahhhhbbb!!!!, from Illinois) walking around. He noticed me, and we were doing the "Oh-my-god-I-haven't-seen-you-in-FOREVER-how-have-you-BEEN?" greeting thing, when I noticed some guy getting into my purse.
I reached over and grabbed him by his collar, and jerked him over to me. I couldn't reach him to do much else. He was wearing pants with lots of big pockets, and I figured my wallet must be in one of those pockets, along with God only knows what else. I was trying to get Rob's attention so he could frisk him while I had a hold of him, but he had been distracted. In the meantime, the guy had pulled a gun on me. This annoyed me more than scared me, and I grabbed it, noting that it was plastic, but seemed to be pretty heavy, too... as such, I wasn't really sure if the thing was real or not. My grabbing it, however, did seem to almost break it. So, I've got a hold of this guy by his collar, holding him close, while he's trying to shoot me, and I've got a hold of this cheap-ass, possibly fake gun, and I'm talkin' shit to him. In the back of my head, I was kind of amazed at myself. :)
I looked over, and noticed a piece of wood or cardboard or something, with a hole like a window in it, across the room. I saw a couple of red flashes coming from behind it, and got the impression that the guy's partner was behind it, and had a scope trained on me. I dismissed this as a minor annoyance, while I attempted to get Rob's attention again. I eventually did, and he started rifling through the guy's pockets while I'm still fucking with his gun and doing things like calling him a punk-ass motherfucker. I get the impression that I got all my stuff back and the guy took off, and I kept the gun, but it got kinda fuzzy at that point.
I woke up sometime around then, although I know there's more to the dream that I've forgotten.
*******************************
The dream I had before that I didn't write down I remember very little of. I know I had been re-hired at Fox Center, and I was kinda going through the stuff in the desk. I know I was being rather arrogant about it. I knew that there had been a lot of changes since I'd been there before, but dammit, I knew I kicked ass at this job, and I was gonna set things straight, and I was cocky in my confidence at being able to do so. I was of mixed feelings in the back of my head as I was telling people this, because, on one hand, I was thinking it was about time I started to be a little arrogant about things I was truly good at... and on the other hand, I thought I was being, or at least might come across as, a stuck-up bitch. I remember going to the bank. I remember having an IDT (inter-disciplinary team) meeting. I was in charge, as was always the case with my old job, but there was no client I was having it on behalf of. I remember the building itself, rather than the cheery feel with light colors it normally had, now had a dark, gothic industrial feel to it.
I remember a few bits from last night's dream. First of all, my parents and I were visiting in the house of the wife of one of my clients. Nice house, a bit fancy, (although nothing like her actual house), as my parent's friends' houses tend to be. I remember at one point, some issue had come up, and I was sitting there, in sort of a triple hug with my parents, and they were wanting to know what was wrong. Basically, wanting me to spill my guts about every little issue I've ever had with them, with my childhood, everything. I can't recall the feeling itself, but I know this happened about 3 times, and there was a distinct physical feeling that accompanied it each time. Not so much an internal feeling, that I recall, but more like remembering the position we sat in, the feeling of their arms around me, which felt more like straps than arms, really. By which I don't meant that I felt trapped, that I recall... but by which I mean that the sensation of the arms holding me felt more even and symmetrical than arms are. I remember struggling with trying to tell them. I remember wanting to, and being afraid to. I remember being so close. So fucking close. Wanting them to ask me one more time, reassurance that it would be safe to hurt them with my angst... but it never came, and we both walked away unsatisfied.
I remember the next day, after having spent the night in that house, getting up earlier than anyone else in the house (very typical of my childhood, mind you) and going outside to sit on a low brick wall which enclosed some pretty landscaping. Just looking around and thinking/not thinking, and enjoying the morning. There was a point when I blinked, or something shifted... but the landscape changed. Instead of being in typical suburbia, everything suddenly felt, and mostly looked, blank. Instead of being able to see the rest of the subdivision through the trees across from me, I saw barren hills of red clay. The houses and yards that remained around me became stark, without the trees and flowers that had originally decorated those yards. The people in the house had changed; I knew this instinctively. It was confirmed when an middle-aged to elderly black man (my client's wife wasn't black) opened the door. Even though I didn't know him, though, he seemed to not be surprised by my presence. It was as if, in his world, things had happened just the same as in the world I'd apparently just left. I'd spent the night in his house, and he knew me, even if I didn't know him. He invited me in for breakfast. That portion becomes blurry. I vaguely recall some sort of breakfast scene, and I think it mirrored an actual scene in my childhood, where my aunt was there, and she had made a snide comment about the doughnut I chose from the box.
The other scene I remember from the dream was a warehouse. Apparently, I was going to college, and this warehouse was on the campus. Now, either I went there several times in this dream, of I've gone there often in other dreams that I don't recall. It had that kind of familiarity, that kind of repetitive feeling to it. I remember walking through it twice in this dream. The first time, I entered through one door, found the place empty, and pretty much walked straight to a different door kinda caddycorner from the first one. For some reason, there were stairs out of the door I left from. As I was getting to the exit, an older guy with white hair and a beard came in with one of those ...can't remember what they're called... those forklift things that you run by hand... anyway, one of those full of stuff. He smiled at me as I was leaving, sort of a bemused, "I've caught you, but I'm a nice guy, so I won't say anything" look. Almost conspiratorial.
The fact is, being in the warehouse wasn't exactly forbidden. There was no specific rule against it. But it was definitely frowned upon. I knew that I'd been there before, had a memory of it, because the reason I kept going in was that I'd been there so many times, and it was different each time. Sometimes full of interesting things, sometimes empty like this time. Always a new and interesting discovery, overlooked by most.
I went in again a different day. Same thing - empty, and ran into the guy again as I was leaving. I think he spoke to me briefly, asking about my fascination with the place, and I left through the same door I had before. This time, going up the stairs, I ran into a little demon-like creature. About 3 feet tall, scaly, with yellow eyes. I wasn't afraid of him, although I noted his appearance. He spoke to me, and I to him, although I don't recall what was said. I remember the guy with the hand truck (that's what they're called!) coming over and trying to get my attention. I was a bit annoyed at his interrupting, but I eventually turned to him. He said that he had needed to get my attention 'cause I was being mesmerized by the demon-creature. I wasn't 100% sure he was right, but there was a very subtle shift in my perception when I turned away from the creature to acknowledge him. When I turned back, the creature was gone.
I ended up, at that point, going back into the warehouse. I think there was someone with me. We might have even been making out. We were sitting in something like bleachers, but not quite that sturdy, kinda high up on a slant. I remember looking over and seeing two gray cats mating, sort of an on-again-off-again mating/fighting. I'd never seen cats mating before, and I rather enjoy watching sex in general, so I was trying to watch, around my partner, who was holding me. I remember distinctly the uncomfortable sensation of it. Because of the position I was in, facing the cats, but with him in front of me, his arms around me, I had to twist a bit out of his embrace to see. Doing this put me in a more precarious position that set off my fear of heights, and all the accompanying sensations. Added to that was a mix of lust from watching the cats, especially as other cats joined them, and they had some sort of cat orgy going on, all of them gray. It was a disturbing sensation, even though I tried to ride it out.
The warehouse was then suddenly full of people. Almost like a rave or something had started, but there was no music. My purse, which I'd had no thought of before, was down on the floor to the right of where I was sitting. Except that where I was sitting was the farthest right I could be on the bleachers (which were more like traditional bleachers by now), so my purse was actually quite a ways below me, out of reach. Which had been fine when the warehouse was empty. While I was noting this, I saw Rob (Raaaahhhhbbb!!!!, from Illinois) walking around. He noticed me, and we were doing the "Oh-my-god-I-haven't-seen-you-in-FOREVER-how-have-you-BEEN?" greeting thing, when I noticed some guy getting into my purse.
I reached over and grabbed him by his collar, and jerked him over to me. I couldn't reach him to do much else. He was wearing pants with lots of big pockets, and I figured my wallet must be in one of those pockets, along with God only knows what else. I was trying to get Rob's attention so he could frisk him while I had a hold of him, but he had been distracted. In the meantime, the guy had pulled a gun on me. This annoyed me more than scared me, and I grabbed it, noting that it was plastic, but seemed to be pretty heavy, too... as such, I wasn't really sure if the thing was real or not. My grabbing it, however, did seem to almost break it. So, I've got a hold of this guy by his collar, holding him close, while he's trying to shoot me, and I've got a hold of this cheap-ass, possibly fake gun, and I'm talkin' shit to him. In the back of my head, I was kind of amazed at myself. :)
I looked over, and noticed a piece of wood or cardboard or something, with a hole like a window in it, across the room. I saw a couple of red flashes coming from behind it, and got the impression that the guy's partner was behind it, and had a scope trained on me. I dismissed this as a minor annoyance, while I attempted to get Rob's attention again. I eventually did, and he started rifling through the guy's pockets while I'm still fucking with his gun and doing things like calling him a punk-ass motherfucker. I get the impression that I got all my stuff back and the guy took off, and I kept the gun, but it got kinda fuzzy at that point.
I woke up sometime around then, although I know there's more to the dream that I've forgotten.
*******************************
The dream I had before that I didn't write down I remember very little of. I know I had been re-hired at Fox Center, and I was kinda going through the stuff in the desk. I know I was being rather arrogant about it. I knew that there had been a lot of changes since I'd been there before, but dammit, I knew I kicked ass at this job, and I was gonna set things straight, and I was cocky in my confidence at being able to do so. I was of mixed feelings in the back of my head as I was telling people this, because, on one hand, I was thinking it was about time I started to be a little arrogant about things I was truly good at... and on the other hand, I thought I was being, or at least might come across as, a stuck-up bitch. I remember going to the bank. I remember having an IDT (inter-disciplinary team) meeting. I was in charge, as was always the case with my old job, but there was no client I was having it on behalf of. I remember the building itself, rather than the cheery feel with light colors it normally had, now had a dark, gothic industrial feel to it.
-
- lunenoire Sleeping
