I am glad, yet sad to read this post. I *was* worried about you yesterday. You usually chat excitedly with me during housecleaning on Sundays, and I, being typically wrapped up in my own fucking problems, had no clue that anything was wrong--until Sunday morning. When you were so quiet and withdrawn, I knew something was up. And of course, being the self-deprecating, "I-must-have-done-something-wrong" Cancerian that I am, I felt sure that I'd done something to upset you in some way, maybe not the whole issue, but I felt I was at least a little responsible somehow. After you left without telling anyone goodbye or where you were going (which is SO unlike K'La), I got extremely concerned, and tried to call you. When you didn't answer your cellphone, I figured then that you needed time alone, although again, that doesn't seem much like you, as you indicated in your post. But I think we all sometimes need that time with ourselves to hit the reset button and think about all the issues we are facing and the best choices of how to deal with them.
Later on, I talked with Glenn and he told me a little about what was going on, reasurring me that I'd not made some heinous error or stepped on your toes in some way. I mean, if I had, I only wanted the opportunity to apologize and rectify the situation, because I really am trying to take responsibility for my actions. It grieved me terribly that it could have been something I'd done, and after Glenn and I talked, I was reassured but still very worried.
This issue is something that has pretty much existed from day one, if I am correct, and in a way, is fairly similar to my situation. My husband used to be far more "asexual" than he is now. Since he turned 40, he reaches for me at least once or twice a week, if not more often. I *had* actually given up hope that our sex drives would ever be in synch, and it also is one reason that polyamory works so well for us. I love my husband to DEATH, beyond *belief* but I simply have a need for more sexual interaction on a regular basis, and that is where my OSOs come in. Of course, I have the joys of the intimate relationships in addition to the sexual aspect, and that deepens the physical intimacy, but I've noticed that it also enhances the sex between Richard and I as well.
I feel your pain, lovely one, and I wish there was more I could do. The household issues can be dealt with; we've shown that we operate well as a family, and I think we can overcome any petty cleaning or chore issue that happens to come up. Everyone has shown a willingness to help. I know Richard has spoken with Ernest and I believe that he will show a greater desire to lend a hand on Sundays from now on. However, your issues with Glenn are something I have to agree with isarma about... Perhaps it is time to resume the counseling sessions, if they ever were on hiatus. Perhaps it is as simple as realizing and accepting that sex just isn't very important to Glenn, but if he loves you, he should be willing to indulge you at least on a regular enough basis that you feel loved and cared about. The love is there, all can see it, but this is simply an issue that is going to require some work and communication.
I know you know all of this, without me even saying it. But I chose to make this comment to reassure you that I am more than just a Harmony-mate, more than just roomies passing in the dark, more than just a friend. You are my chosen family, and I love you. DEARLY. Know that I am here if you need me, and you don't even need to leave the comfort of the house for us to have a cup of coffee together.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2004-02-09 11:46 pm (UTC)Later on, I talked with Glenn and he told me a little about what was going on, reasurring me that I'd not made some heinous error or stepped on your toes in some way. I mean, if I had, I only wanted the opportunity to apologize and rectify the situation, because I really am trying to take responsibility for my actions. It grieved me terribly that it could have been something I'd done, and after Glenn and I talked, I was reassured but still very worried.
This issue is something that has pretty much existed from day one, if I am correct, and in a way, is fairly similar to my situation. My husband used to be far more "asexual" than he is now. Since he turned 40, he reaches for me at least once or twice a week, if not more often. I *had* actually given up hope that our sex drives would ever be in synch, and it also is one reason that polyamory works so well for us. I love my husband to DEATH, beyond *belief* but I simply have a need for more sexual interaction on a regular basis, and that is where my OSOs come in. Of course, I have the joys of the intimate relationships in addition to the sexual aspect, and that deepens the physical intimacy, but I've noticed that it also enhances the sex between Richard and I as well.
I feel your pain, lovely one, and I wish there was more I could do. The household issues can be dealt with; we've shown that we operate well as a family, and I think we can overcome any petty cleaning or chore issue that happens to come up. Everyone has shown a willingness to help. I know Richard has spoken with Ernest and I believe that he will show a greater desire to lend a hand on Sundays from now on. However, your issues with Glenn are something I have to agree with
I know you know all of this, without me even saying it. But I chose to make this comment to reassure you that I am more than just a Harmony-mate, more than just roomies passing in the dark, more than just a friend. You are my chosen family, and I love you. DEARLY. Know that I am here if you need me, and you don't even need to leave the comfort of the house for us to have a cup of coffee together.
*hugs*