OMG, it Buuuuurns!!!
Apr. 24th, 2009 01:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bookofmirrorsDavid is out of town, which means I have nights off for a change. I celebrated by going to bed at 7:30pm last night (Wednesday, that is) and ended up sleeping for 15 hours. After about 5 hours of being awake, I felt sleepy and headachey, so I took pills and laid down again, not waking up until the Beastie got home.
Of course, I now have the predictable insomnia. I have thus far used it to put away laundry and clean the kitchen, but have stopped short of dealing with the garbage, since I'm pretty sure that will run out my not-waking-up-the-sleeping-husband luck.
So, I thought I would use the time to make a long overdue post, which should make
Lord_Ukko happy.
A long while back, I made a brief post, just before the Atlanta Decompression about how burns scared me. I've had brief discussions with various burner friends, all of whom say basically the same thing (radical inclusion) about my worries of being a poser when it comes to being a burner. I had a much longer, and very good talk over coffee with
Beauty_Moves about the whole thing, and she gave me a lot more detailed reasons why I shouldn't be freaking out about the idea of going to a burn, associating with burners (well, I already do that), and altogether joining that crowd. I figure one can't actually call one's self a Burner until you've been to an actual burn, and I don't know if Decomp counts. At any rate, I think I'm finally convinced on the radical inclusion thing.
It's the other stuff that I think I'll fall short on.
Let's take a closer look at the ten principles, which I've already linked, above, under "radical inclusion".
Radical Inclusion
OK, yeah, I'm convinced on that one. Any lameness I feel will no doubt be coming from me, and not external. Yes, everyone judges everyone else, but that doesn't necessarily imply being judgmental.
Decommidification
Yeah, I'm down with that.
Radical Self-Expression
I'm pretty good at that. I'm even better at it in certain circumstances, and/or under the influence of...
Immediacy
Right up there with radical self-expression. Gotcha.
Communal Effort
Sure, no problem.
Civic Responsibility
Along the same lines as communal effort, it would seem. Do-able.
Leave No Trace
Definitely a good idea. No problems here.
Gifting
I like the concept. I always wonder just what I would gift. I'm not particularly artsy, and I don't make things. Sure, there's the animal communication, but I'm not good enough at it to gift people with it. Could do shamanic journeying/healing, though.
Participation
I have a little trouble with this one. At least the first time, I'm sure I'd be more wide-eyed and wanting to drink it all in, moreso than pitching in and making myself useful. Of course, drinking it all in might just be considered participation in burn terms, and I'm sure that this would only be an issue the first time around, or maybe even the first (few) day(s).
Radical Self-Reliance
And heeeeeere's where it all breaks down for me. And granted, I'm looking at this through a very narrow lens (something that just occurred to me as I was writing this). Namely, an economic lens. Currently, in order to lead the lifestyle I want to lead, in conjunction with the job(s) I have, and in the city I live, and with the job my husband has, I need financial assistance. This is a HUGE problem for me. One I'm trying to rectify by, among other things, moving away from Atlanta to a much smaller town in Illinois, where the cost of living is drastically lower, and, if the Beastie and I can find similar jobs, we should be more than able to cover by our own steam. Granted, in this economy, there are a lot of people in similar conditions. Hell, some of the burners I know and respect the most have very little money, and have arranged their lifestyles accordingly. (Burning Man is expensive to attend, though, so you have to have enough money to pull that off...) So, through that narrow lens, I have no business whatsoever going to a burn.
If I widen my lens, though, I'm actually a pretty self-reliant person. I can do most minor household repairs, assemble furniture, and solve most problems on my own. I'm even getting better at asking for help when I need it. (Recognizing when I need it is harder...) So, in that sense, that might even work.
Anyway... that's all the rhetoric I run through...
Having attended Decompression, though, I came away with a few observations... hopefully I'll remember them, this far from the event. I do remember that
BlckwngdOrcl and I talked about our feelings/observations afterwards, and realized we had both pretty much come to the same conclusions.
The big thing is that the people who attended Decomp seemed more ...solid. I'm sure what I mean by this is that they seemed more grounded, but grounded doesn't quite cover it. They felt more "there". Now, keep in mind that I'm comparing the people I saw at Decomp with the people I typically see at any given pagan festival. If you compare to the general public, the degrees of separation are that much farther, of course. If there were fluffbunnies there, I sure as hell couldn't tell.
Staying grounded is a challenge for me a lot of times. I'm waaaaay more grounded than I used to be, which is saying something, but I still have a long way to go. I'm sure that's the case for a lot of people, and I know the degree of groundedness/solidity I feel when I'm with a group of like-minded people is a lot higher than when I'm out in the real word (default reality), and I'm sure that's probably the case with most burners, as well. In one of my Core classes, I got the message of "staying grounded in flight", which is a great metaphor for me, when I can pull it off.
When I had the discussing-burners-over-coffee conversation, it was mentioned that the average pagan is smarter than the average non-pagan, and that the average burner is smarter than the average pagan. When I lived in Illinois, with my group of friends there, with the possible exception of Frog, I'm sure I arguably had the highest IQ in the bunch. Here, I'm sure my IQ (while not low, by any means) is on the lower end of the totem pole. This has been fabulous for me in a lot of ways, 'cause I've had fabulous opportunities for growth, and I wouldn't give that up for the world. But sometimes, damn, I just feel stupid. Again, the only judgment is likely coming from my own inner voice. I typically don't talk out my ass and try to appear knowledgeable about something I'm not, and I like to hear about new things, new ideas, toss around concepts, etc.. Sometimes it's hard to keep up. Sometimes the subject is simply one I'm not all that interested in. Anyway, the people at Decomp totally gave off the smart vibe. Which was both fabulous and intimidating for me.
And the last thing I can think of tonight... art. Are there any burners who AREN'T artsy? I can't think of one. And I'm not. Anything artsy I do involves shapes (the spirals on my green shirt, and the dots and squiggly lines on my yellow shirt) 'cause I can't draw for shit. Ditto for paint, clay, whathaveyou. I'd much rather pay someone to do an art project for me (when I have the money, that is) than do it myself. I have artsy friends, and I'm more than happy to exploit them for cash or barter, if I can talk them into that. I'm sure a lot of this idea is strictly in my head, but damn. All my creativity is either domestic (I love to decorate my house/apartment to my liking) or shamanic... and what shamanic landscape/scene isn't creative? Anyway, probably doesn't translate well to a burn setting, since I'd have to actually build a house to be creative with it, and I have no interest whatsoever in doing that, mostly 'cause I'm lazy. And I'm pretty sure that being lazy is in direct contrast to the whole self-reliance thing.
All that being said, my New Year's Resolution this year was to go to Alchemy. I even went so far as to get a ticket. However, I didn't realize till long after I'd planned to go that it's in October, and not only will I be long gone from Georgia by then, I'll also be probably still in the middle of unpacking, and adjusting to a new job/city, etc.. Not the best time to go on a trip. So, I'm not sure if I'll make it this year or not. I'm not ruling it out, but I need to play it by ear, based on what's going on in my life.
Chicago has a burn, though...
If nothing else, making this post, in some strange way, seems to have allayed my fears about the whole process a bit. That always seems to happen, which is kinda nice, since I imagined this post to be a lot whinier than it turned out to be. :)
Of course, I now have the predictable insomnia. I have thus far used it to put away laundry and clean the kitchen, but have stopped short of dealing with the garbage, since I'm pretty sure that will run out my not-waking-up-the-sleeping-husband luck.
So, I thought I would use the time to make a long overdue post, which should make
Lord_Ukko happy.A long while back, I made a brief post, just before the Atlanta Decompression about how burns scared me. I've had brief discussions with various burner friends, all of whom say basically the same thing (radical inclusion) about my worries of being a poser when it comes to being a burner. I had a much longer, and very good talk over coffee with
Beauty_Moves about the whole thing, and she gave me a lot more detailed reasons why I shouldn't be freaking out about the idea of going to a burn, associating with burners (well, I already do that), and altogether joining that crowd. I figure one can't actually call one's self a Burner until you've been to an actual burn, and I don't know if Decomp counts. At any rate, I think I'm finally convinced on the radical inclusion thing.It's the other stuff that I think I'll fall short on.
Let's take a closer look at the ten principles, which I've already linked, above, under "radical inclusion".
Radical Inclusion
OK, yeah, I'm convinced on that one. Any lameness I feel will no doubt be coming from me, and not external. Yes, everyone judges everyone else, but that doesn't necessarily imply being judgmental.
Decommidification
Yeah, I'm down with that.
Radical Self-Expression
I'm pretty good at that. I'm even better at it in certain circumstances, and/or under the influence of...
Immediacy
Right up there with radical self-expression. Gotcha.
Communal Effort
Sure, no problem.
Civic Responsibility
Along the same lines as communal effort, it would seem. Do-able.
Leave No Trace
Definitely a good idea. No problems here.
Gifting
I like the concept. I always wonder just what I would gift. I'm not particularly artsy, and I don't make things. Sure, there's the animal communication, but I'm not good enough at it to gift people with it. Could do shamanic journeying/healing, though.
Participation
I have a little trouble with this one. At least the first time, I'm sure I'd be more wide-eyed and wanting to drink it all in, moreso than pitching in and making myself useful. Of course, drinking it all in might just be considered participation in burn terms, and I'm sure that this would only be an issue the first time around, or maybe even the first (few) day(s).
Radical Self-Reliance
And heeeeeere's where it all breaks down for me. And granted, I'm looking at this through a very narrow lens (something that just occurred to me as I was writing this). Namely, an economic lens. Currently, in order to lead the lifestyle I want to lead, in conjunction with the job(s) I have, and in the city I live, and with the job my husband has, I need financial assistance. This is a HUGE problem for me. One I'm trying to rectify by, among other things, moving away from Atlanta to a much smaller town in Illinois, where the cost of living is drastically lower, and, if the Beastie and I can find similar jobs, we should be more than able to cover by our own steam. Granted, in this economy, there are a lot of people in similar conditions. Hell, some of the burners I know and respect the most have very little money, and have arranged their lifestyles accordingly. (Burning Man is expensive to attend, though, so you have to have enough money to pull that off...) So, through that narrow lens, I have no business whatsoever going to a burn.
If I widen my lens, though, I'm actually a pretty self-reliant person. I can do most minor household repairs, assemble furniture, and solve most problems on my own. I'm even getting better at asking for help when I need it. (Recognizing when I need it is harder...) So, in that sense, that might even work.
Anyway... that's all the rhetoric I run through...
Having attended Decompression, though, I came away with a few observations... hopefully I'll remember them, this far from the event. I do remember that
BlckwngdOrcl and I talked about our feelings/observations afterwards, and realized we had both pretty much come to the same conclusions.The big thing is that the people who attended Decomp seemed more ...solid. I'm sure what I mean by this is that they seemed more grounded, but grounded doesn't quite cover it. They felt more "there". Now, keep in mind that I'm comparing the people I saw at Decomp with the people I typically see at any given pagan festival. If you compare to the general public, the degrees of separation are that much farther, of course. If there were fluffbunnies there, I sure as hell couldn't tell.
Staying grounded is a challenge for me a lot of times. I'm waaaaay more grounded than I used to be, which is saying something, but I still have a long way to go. I'm sure that's the case for a lot of people, and I know the degree of groundedness/solidity I feel when I'm with a group of like-minded people is a lot higher than when I'm out in the real word (default reality), and I'm sure that's probably the case with most burners, as well. In one of my Core classes, I got the message of "staying grounded in flight", which is a great metaphor for me, when I can pull it off.
When I had the discussing-burners-over-coffee conversation, it was mentioned that the average pagan is smarter than the average non-pagan, and that the average burner is smarter than the average pagan. When I lived in Illinois, with my group of friends there, with the possible exception of Frog, I'm sure I arguably had the highest IQ in the bunch. Here, I'm sure my IQ (while not low, by any means) is on the lower end of the totem pole. This has been fabulous for me in a lot of ways, 'cause I've had fabulous opportunities for growth, and I wouldn't give that up for the world. But sometimes, damn, I just feel stupid. Again, the only judgment is likely coming from my own inner voice. I typically don't talk out my ass and try to appear knowledgeable about something I'm not, and I like to hear about new things, new ideas, toss around concepts, etc.. Sometimes it's hard to keep up. Sometimes the subject is simply one I'm not all that interested in. Anyway, the people at Decomp totally gave off the smart vibe. Which was both fabulous and intimidating for me.
And the last thing I can think of tonight... art. Are there any burners who AREN'T artsy? I can't think of one. And I'm not. Anything artsy I do involves shapes (the spirals on my green shirt, and the dots and squiggly lines on my yellow shirt) 'cause I can't draw for shit. Ditto for paint, clay, whathaveyou. I'd much rather pay someone to do an art project for me (when I have the money, that is) than do it myself. I have artsy friends, and I'm more than happy to exploit them for cash or barter, if I can talk them into that. I'm sure a lot of this idea is strictly in my head, but damn. All my creativity is either domestic (I love to decorate my house/apartment to my liking) or shamanic... and what shamanic landscape/scene isn't creative? Anyway, probably doesn't translate well to a burn setting, since I'd have to actually build a house to be creative with it, and I have no interest whatsoever in doing that, mostly 'cause I'm lazy. And I'm pretty sure that being lazy is in direct contrast to the whole self-reliance thing.
All that being said, my New Year's Resolution this year was to go to Alchemy. I even went so far as to get a ticket. However, I didn't realize till long after I'd planned to go that it's in October, and not only will I be long gone from Georgia by then, I'll also be probably still in the middle of unpacking, and adjusting to a new job/city, etc.. Not the best time to go on a trip. So, I'm not sure if I'll make it this year or not. I'm not ruling it out, but I need to play it by ear, based on what's going on in my life.
Chicago has a burn, though...
If nothing else, making this post, in some strange way, seems to have allayed my fears about the whole process a bit. That always seems to happen, which is kinda nice, since I imagined this post to be a lot whinier than it turned out to be. :)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-04-24 02:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-24 03:15 pm (UTC)Also, clearly I'm a slacker. You wanna do lunch (noon) this coming Monday the 27th, maybe somewhere near you on Buford Highway or somesuch? It totally slipped my mind!
no subject
Date: 2009-04-25 01:53 pm (UTC)sounds good. I just need to be back at my house around 2:30- I'm expecting a package that I have to sign for.
Thank you
Date: 2009-04-29 06:48 am (UTC)Participation. Just getting out and going to the theme camps and talking to them and other people you meet there counts as participation ya know. You would have to work REALLY hard to not participate.
I hope you do get to go to Alchemy this year. I don't know if I will be there or not. I've been to the first two and I'd like to not miss any of them. However my wife and I are house hunting looking to buy our first home and that has to come first. We also both have some medical issues that we are going to have to shell out some money for. My wife says no matter what I'm going just so she can have some time to herself for a few days but we will see. Even if you can't make it Alchemy go to one wherever you are.
I can't speak for anyone else but I tend to be a little grounded. For me a burn is a chance to re-energize and get away from being so grounded.
All I can say is for me both times it's been a very transformational event. I learn so much about myself and the world around me.
Now with that said I do have to say burns are not for everyone. My wife went with me the first year and won't be going back again. Just not her things. I plan on going to Burning Man one day. When I do she is going to spend the time I'm out in the desert in Las Vegas having her own bit of fun.
Re: Thank you
Date: 2009-04-29 06:50 am (UTC)Re: Thank you
Date: 2009-04-29 07:19 am (UTC)If I go, I'll for sure look you up, and partake of your cooking. That's your incentive to have some veg*n options. :)
no subject
Date: 2009-05-02 01:16 pm (UTC)Also, I'm not artsy, really. I don't draw, paint, sculpt, any of that. I hoop, but I never would've rediscovered that if I hadn't gone to my first burn:)