Best. Horoscope. Ever.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Spankings can raise your intelligence, reports
*The Weekly World News.* Experiments by the Lucerne Institute of
Psychological Research showed that college students did better on their
exams after having their buns whacked. Increased adrenalin flow may have
contributed to this surprising phenomenon, the psychologists speculated.
"The adrenalin combined with the endorphins generated to minimize the
pain, and together they opened up previously underutilized neural
pathways--turning them into IQ hyperlinks," said one researcher. I bring
this up, Libra, because you've got a big life test coming up. If I were you,
I'd be willing to try innovative measures to make sure you ace it, including
maybe even having a ping-pong paddle administered to your backside.
The preparations that helped you through rites of passage in the past
may not work this time.