Why Am I Still Awake?
Jul. 30th, 2005 12:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bookofmirrorsOK, so, yeah, should be in bed...
So, I'm at my client's today, the one I'm dropping at the end of August... and I'm enjoying myself there. Which, of course, makes me re-think the whole thing. I mean, if I truly enjoy something, then it's not really work to me. But this has been work up to this point, and (except for tonight), I've always left there drained and exhausted.
On one hand, I don't wanna spit in the face of the Universe, when I've been clearly told I need a break.
On the other hand, our need for the money hasn't changed.
On the other hand (I have many hands), if I enjoy myself, I'm all cool with staying. I won't feel as tired out from it, so that'll be irrelevant.
On the other hand, I'll continue to lose out on more free time on my weeknights, including going back to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
tc_borderpagans, which I'd dearly love to do.
And, I don't know if this new attitude is because I see a light at the end of the tunnel, or because I slept about 12 hours on Wednesday, or because, by telling them I was leaving, I regained control of my life, and with it, a new attitude (which, ironically enough doesn't inspire me to leave.
Of course, they're going out of their way to be nice to me, too. Not that they didn't always, of course, there's just a new energy behind it. She gave me all sorts of (very clearly genuine) compliments tonight, about how different it is when I'm there versus their other nurses/helpers. She said it was hard to describe, but it seemed like I was (in addition to being competent) more nurturing.
I never can figure out how people (especially nurses and the like) can NOT be. Why the way I do it is so different. Ditto for lasering. Now, in addition to being the most requested nurse, I'm the most experienced one there. Eep. How is one NURTURING when you're firing the (painful) laser of (hair) doom?
Anyway, I'm overdue for bed.
So, I'm at my client's today, the one I'm dropping at the end of August... and I'm enjoying myself there. Which, of course, makes me re-think the whole thing. I mean, if I truly enjoy something, then it's not really work to me. But this has been work up to this point, and (except for tonight), I've always left there drained and exhausted.
On one hand, I don't wanna spit in the face of the Universe, when I've been clearly told I need a break.
On the other hand, our need for the money hasn't changed.
On the other hand (I have many hands), if I enjoy myself, I'm all cool with staying. I won't feel as tired out from it, so that'll be irrelevant.
On the other hand, I'll continue to lose out on more free time on my weeknights, including going back to
tc_borderpagans, which I'd dearly love to do.And, I don't know if this new attitude is because I see a light at the end of the tunnel, or because I slept about 12 hours on Wednesday, or because, by telling them I was leaving, I regained control of my life, and with it, a new attitude (which, ironically enough doesn't inspire me to leave.
Of course, they're going out of their way to be nice to me, too. Not that they didn't always, of course, there's just a new energy behind it. She gave me all sorts of (very clearly genuine) compliments tonight, about how different it is when I'm there versus their other nurses/helpers. She said it was hard to describe, but it seemed like I was (in addition to being competent) more nurturing.
I never can figure out how people (especially nurses and the like) can NOT be. Why the way I do it is so different. Ditto for lasering. Now, in addition to being the most requested nurse, I'm the most experienced one there. Eep. How is one NURTURING when you're firing the (painful) laser of (hair) doom?
Anyway, I'm overdue for bed.
