Today
This morning started off kinda slowly. I woke up much earlier than I expected to, considering how late (er, early) it was when I finally got to sleep last night (about 7am). ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
blckwngdorcl was still asleep, and even though Friday (payday for both of us) is our day to go out and see a movie and grab lunch, I didn't wake him. I was still feeling the effects of the night before. I tend to cling to things until they're resolved with the person they need resolving with.
Anyway, I came downstairs, and changed out the litter in the litter boxes, and made the entries I made this morning. I was kinda surprised whenblckwngdorcl woke up in the middle of this. He usually sleeps much longer than that, and I know he didn't get a whole lot of sleep, either. I was in the middle of typing out my dream at the time, and we kinda looked at each other sadly before he sat down and started doing his stuff on the computer. We talked a little bit, both of us expressing sadness and regret over the night before. There were a few more things I wanted to say, but I knew that, if we still wanted to get to the movie in time, they would have to wait for the car ride. So, we showered, and talked some, and headed out. I told him at exactly what point I had broken down, which was hard for me, and we talked about shame of sexuality in general. We drove out to State Farm to drop off our premium for the car and renters' insurance, and headed to the movie. We saw I, Robot, which was pretty good, and then headed over to Joe's Crab Shack. We talked more there, before I dropped him off at work, and headed to work myself.
My own night at work was a fiasco, which meant thatblckwngdorcl had to wait an additional *2* hours AFTER Barnes and Noble had closed for me to come get him. Many many thanks to tbrents for dropping him off there, so he didn't have to wait outside the FedEx building for 3 hours. *sigh* Anyway, I'm not going to get into that.
What's more important to me, and what really the purpose of this post is, is to say that, in spite of the really hard issues that come up in our relationship, I've never had a romantic relationship where we can really sit down and talk about this stuff, bare ourselves completely, and work through it. And, even though it really SUCKS (I mean, really REALLY SUCKS) when we're in the middle of it, I know I'm with the person I'm meant to be with, the person I can actually work on these issues with - both me working on mine, and him working on his, and us working on ours. I can feel that, and it's a comfort to me. The truth of it resonates with me. It means a lot to me that we LISTEN to each other, even if sometimes words aren't enough. It also means a lot to me that we tend to not get defensive about shit. Actually, that would be counterproductive, 'cause we're both pretty smart and intuitive, and we usually hit the nail on the head about each other.
Yeah, there are hard times. And yeah, they suck.
But I don't regret them.
blckwngdorcl was still asleep, and even though Friday (payday for both of us) is our day to go out and see a movie and grab lunch, I didn't wake him. I was still feeling the effects of the night before. I tend to cling to things until they're resolved with the person they need resolving with. Anyway, I came downstairs, and changed out the litter in the litter boxes, and made the entries I made this morning. I was kinda surprised when
blckwngdorcl woke up in the middle of this. He usually sleeps much longer than that, and I know he didn't get a whole lot of sleep, either. I was in the middle of typing out my dream at the time, and we kinda looked at each other sadly before he sat down and started doing his stuff on the computer. We talked a little bit, both of us expressing sadness and regret over the night before. There were a few more things I wanted to say, but I knew that, if we still wanted to get to the movie in time, they would have to wait for the car ride. So, we showered, and talked some, and headed out. I told him at exactly what point I had broken down, which was hard for me, and we talked about shame of sexuality in general. We drove out to State Farm to drop off our premium for the car and renters' insurance, and headed to the movie. We saw I, Robot, which was pretty good, and then headed over to Joe's Crab Shack. We talked more there, before I dropped him off at work, and headed to work myself.My own night at work was a fiasco, which meant that
blckwngdorcl had to wait an additional *2* hours AFTER Barnes and Noble had closed for me to come get him. Many many thanks to tbrents for dropping him off there, so he didn't have to wait outside the FedEx building for 3 hours. *sigh* Anyway, I'm not going to get into that. What's more important to me, and what really the purpose of this post is, is to say that, in spite of the really hard issues that come up in our relationship, I've never had a romantic relationship where we can really sit down and talk about this stuff, bare ourselves completely, and work through it. And, even though it really SUCKS (I mean, really REALLY SUCKS) when we're in the middle of it, I know I'm with the person I'm meant to be with, the person I can actually work on these issues with - both me working on mine, and him working on his, and us working on ours. I can feel that, and it's a comfort to me. The truth of it resonates with me. It means a lot to me that we LISTEN to each other, even if sometimes words aren't enough. It also means a lot to me that we tend to not get defensive about shit. Actually, that would be counterproductive, 'cause we're both pretty smart and intuitive, and we usually hit the nail on the head about each other.
Yeah, there are hard times. And yeah, they suck.
But I don't regret them.
