Illness or Insomnia?
Apr. 22nd, 2005 12:39 amWell, since I came home from work today and slept about 5 hours, I now seem to be pretty awake. 5 hours, as far as my body has been conditioned, is a full night's sleep, so it doesn't seem to understand that it can go BACK to sleep now. This is unfortunate, considering I'd like to get MORE than 5 hours of sleep tonight. *sigh*
Currently, I can't decide if I'm hungry, or if my stomach is nauseous or crampy again. Looking at the clock, I know I should be hungry about now, but I'm kinda hesitant to eat. I called my nurse manager at about 10pm tonight, and told her that I was still feeling bad, perhaps worse, even, and that I was crossing my fingers to wake up and feel fabulous, but in case that didn't happen, I wanted to let her know ahead of time, since I was supposed to open. She's hoping I feel better, too, I'm sure for both kindness and needing a nurse there. Of course, I'm wanting to feel better for kindness to myself and for not decreasing my paycheck. I have no illusions, however, that a great deal of this isn't running myself into the ground with all the work I do.
Sadly enough, (or blessedly), I really love all my jobs. I adore working at Sona. Holding the laser is incidental - my job is, as far as I'm concerned, to sit around and chat with people. How cool is that? And they apparently love me for it. I've been told I'm "thorough as hell", and one of the front office staff says I'm requested 10 to 1 over any of the other nurses. I'd try to deny this, and say she says this to everyone, but one of the other nurses told me she told her the same thing. So, cool. And I love my main client that I see 3 nights a week. I look forward to going there every time I go. The new client I haven't really bonded with yet. I don't have the same affection for him, and I don't look forward to going, but that will likely come with time. He's a very nice man, and his wife is very kind, too, so there's really nothing NOT to like or bond with.
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lunenoire and I had a really good talk tonight. Cleared the air about a lot of things. I think my solution, my closure, to every argument is to cry in that person's arms. Not sure how healthy this is, but I'm thinking that if it accompanies thoughtful and heartfelt discussion, then it can't be all bad.
*sigh* Y'know... I'd love to be sitting here writing something profound, something deep. But, even when I'm feeling less sick, it's so hard for me to shift from the so-called-superwoman who works 55-60 hours per week, to the quietly introspective person who used to write deep thoughts here. I miss that person. My disconnection with her has created issues because it's harder for me to pay attention to things, and my time to connect, especially withlunenoire, is limited. My time to connect with myself is equally, if not moreso.
I'm hoping for an end in sight to all this. I'm gonna go see what I can eat, and practice cable television escapism.
Currently, I can't decide if I'm hungry, or if my stomach is nauseous or crampy again. Looking at the clock, I know I should be hungry about now, but I'm kinda hesitant to eat. I called my nurse manager at about 10pm tonight, and told her that I was still feeling bad, perhaps worse, even, and that I was crossing my fingers to wake up and feel fabulous, but in case that didn't happen, I wanted to let her know ahead of time, since I was supposed to open. She's hoping I feel better, too, I'm sure for both kindness and needing a nurse there. Of course, I'm wanting to feel better for kindness to myself and for not decreasing my paycheck. I have no illusions, however, that a great deal of this isn't running myself into the ground with all the work I do.
Sadly enough, (or blessedly), I really love all my jobs. I adore working at Sona. Holding the laser is incidental - my job is, as far as I'm concerned, to sit around and chat with people. How cool is that? And they apparently love me for it. I've been told I'm "thorough as hell", and one of the front office staff says I'm requested 10 to 1 over any of the other nurses. I'd try to deny this, and say she says this to everyone, but one of the other nurses told me she told her the same thing. So, cool. And I love my main client that I see 3 nights a week. I look forward to going there every time I go. The new client I haven't really bonded with yet. I don't have the same affection for him, and I don't look forward to going, but that will likely come with time. He's a very nice man, and his wife is very kind, too, so there's really nothing NOT to like or bond with.
lunenoire and I had a really good talk tonight. Cleared the air about a lot of things. I think my solution, my closure, to every argument is to cry in that person's arms. Not sure how healthy this is, but I'm thinking that if it accompanies thoughtful and heartfelt discussion, then it can't be all bad.*sigh* Y'know... I'd love to be sitting here writing something profound, something deep. But, even when I'm feeling less sick, it's so hard for me to shift from the so-called-superwoman who works 55-60 hours per week, to the quietly introspective person who used to write deep thoughts here. I miss that person. My disconnection with her has created issues because it's harder for me to pay attention to things, and my time to connect, especially with
lunenoire, is limited. My time to connect with myself is equally, if not moreso.I'm hoping for an end in sight to all this. I'm gonna go see what I can eat, and practice cable television escapism.
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