Jan. 13th, 2013

Memory

Jan. 13th, 2013 05:09 pm
bookofmirrors: (Golden Eagle Light)
I have a memory. It's something I hadn't thought of in years, but, for some reason, has been popping up in my mind for the past month or so. It's such a strange memory that it's almost as if I imagined it, but I'm 99.9999% sure this actually happened.

I was in high school, and we were living in South Carolina at the time. It was before school, and I was downstairs, and happened to look out the window. I saw a large bird, a hawk of some sort, attacking another bird... smaller, but also a bird of prey of some sort. (In my head, I called it a peregrine falcon, but I think that was mostly because I had a sense falcons were smallish as birds of prey go, and that's what I'd heard of... plus, for some reason, that name always had a romance in it for me. This was pre-internet, and I never really verified this, and I don't have a clear enough memory to look it up now.)

Anyway, I ran outside and chased the larger bird off. The smaller bird fell to the ground. I either picked it up and then went inside to wrap it up in a towel, or ran and got the towel first... I don't remember... I just remember wrapping it up at some point. I remember getting it water, and something to eat. I have no recollection what I got it to eat... whether I got it bread/seeds 'cause it registered as a bird in my mind, and that's what we fed geese and whatnot, or if I was savvy enough at the time to recognize that it needed meat, and got that. I put it in the windowwell of the house, where I figured it would have some shelter, but still be free to fly away. It didn't have any wounds that I could tell, but it did seem like it was hurt.

I remember almost nothing of what was going through my head that day. I don't recall if I considered a veterinarian, or a wild animal resource center (or if I even knew what those were at the time). I just remember I saw a creature being hurt, and wanted to help it.

Looking back, as the memory tickles the back of my mind, I wonder what I was thinking. Hawks and falcons (and other birds of prey) have sharp beaks, sharp talons, and can be dangerous, and really fuck you up. I don't recall feeling any sense of fear at all in the situation. I'm not even sure if I felt any sense of reasonable caution. I'd like to think all this occurred to me at the time, and that I was mindful of all the pointy bits when I picked the bird up and tried to help it. But really, I have no idea.

I keep mulling over in my mind what kind of person this makes me, that I would either be so foolhardy, or so fearless... perhaps both. I wish I could remember which I was feeling at the time, but I just don't have a clue.

And so I wonder.

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